Team Coathanger Deathsquad!

I'm about to take a girl to get an abortion.
It's not mine. I'm just a nice guy.

So basically i've signed up to deal with a physical and emotional wreck all afternoon.


anything i shouldn't say?

I honestly wouldn't say much, just be there to listen.

maybe you fail to see how i set up a thread full of comedy.

Well, I was going to say you shouldn't say "Wanna Fuck?"

But I have a bad habit of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, so I didn't.

I wholeheartedly agree with DhD. Also, whatever she asks you to do, do it. Like, if she wants something to eat...get her something to eat.

Wow, Maxx.

That you started up a thread on Suicide Girls about it?

Make sure you certainly don't point out every happy young couple or mother pushing a baby carriage.

is she giving you gas money?

Don't regale her with your Joan Crawford, Mommy Dearest impersonation.

"So, I'm totally getting a blowjob for doing this, right?"

Walk around humming "Brick" by Ben Folds Five.

Don't ask what its name was. It's too soon.

Don't pause at the top of a flight of stairs, look meaningfully from there to her belly, and say "Whatever they quoted, I'll do it for half."

no high fives.

Don't do a drum roll on her belly just before she goes on.

I'd suggest not bribing the doctor to give you the aborted fetus in a mason jar filled with formaldehyde, then not sewing the girl's name into the aborted fetus and presenting to her as a romantic birthday gift.

putting your hand on a girl's belly and going "Ooo! I just felt its last kick!" doesn't go over well.

nor does handing her a condom and saying "better luck next time."

I'm guessing matching bowling shirts with Team Coathanger Deathsquad on them might be inappropriate.

"So, who wants veal?"

-TM

And be leery of showing her your collection of Russian nesting dolls, opening each in turn, slowly, one by one, revealing ever smaller figures, until upon reaching the last, you turn to her, puzzled, and say "But this one's stomach is empty. There's nothing in there now. It's completely barren, like someone reached in and...

oh."