NEWS: My Name Is Gladiator... But You Can Call Me Malibu

CELEB: My Name Is Gladiator... But You Can Call Me Malibu

There was once a time, on this great rock we call Earth, where men settled their differences like men... by battling in giant, rolling, metal cages painted blue and red. Or by clinging from the underside of a metal grate and kicking one another.

Women too, competed in such a fashion. Wielding oversized, leather-covered Q-tips in a effort to knock each other off of literal pedestals. By using a rope to hurl their own bodies against a Gladiator in an attempt to bash him to the ground. By dunking an undersized basketball into a 3-foot high, traffic cone... Ahem. Okay, it wasn't all awesome.

Well, in addition to other, less exciting announcements, it seems that NBC is contemplating bringing back American Gladiators.

This could be interesting. I liked the original. Packed with insane stunts and super-charged Gladiators like Blaze, Nitro, Zap, Louis* and Diamond... True, I also liked tree-forts, prank-calling neighbors and being 11, but, it might work.

Do they stick with the campy, over-the-top ridiculousness?

Or do they modernize it? I could see them trying to make it more "reality-based." Setting it on a faux, street-corner set. Sending a man down a dark alley where suddenly a muscle-bound behemoth bursts through a wall and the man is forced to defend himself with a lamp post turned baton.

Maybe they could bring back the greatest of all-time, Nitro, as the world-weary veteran who's seen it all, to mentor and train the newest batch of rookie Gladiators.

They'd do well to remember that the best episodes featured a former athlete/marine/ninja who turned the tables on the Gladiators, enraging them at all turns for the entire episode, only to get smited in the end.

And to get rid of "Powerball."

TheCoolerKing is betting you can help shift the "no done deal" part of the story by signing this petition he found. So far they've got 10,261 signatures. Is that a lot?



* I wish there'd been a Gladiator named Louis.

who among the nickelodeon era remembers the kid's version of American Gladiators?

D-d-d-d-d-do you have it?

GUTS!

Fuck that noise.
This is what was awefuckingsome:

You know what? I loved that show.

That's right, I said it and I'll say it again.

I loved American Gladiators.

I am also, still (basically) 13.

Some of my favorite childhood memories are of watching Gladiators, Quantum Leap, and MacGyver on the USA channel while eating lunch. lol

::wipes tear from eye::

Those were the days!!

Right on! And what do they have now on that channel? Crap. Personally, I've been downloading all sorts of shows from when me and my sis were kids for my nephew to watch. Biggest one? Are you Afraid of the Dark? !

Some weird dude from The Lost Boys was on that show once. I also met a couple of the gladiators at a car show once. And, basically, that show kicked ass.

Muscle women:

HAHAHA!! Perfect timing. Just today I watched re-runs of AG on ESPN Classic. It still makes me happy

Greatest array of mullets in the history of "sports'.

I can't believe I forgot about that show...considering it's where I'm pretty sure my love for redheads originated.

I was going to try to find a picture to put here, but apparently the redhead host of WACK dropped of the face of the earth.

so he's a picture of a redhead who's still around.

Good luck with showing Are you Afraid of the Dark. That show gave me some serious nightmares.

"I'm cold. I'm cold" shit still scares me.

This guy. I remember thinking it was fake (for a little while) because of that. I thought the same thing about People's Court because I saw Marla Gibbs on there one time, but it turned out she really was suing someone for like, 280 bucks.

Malibu was the best. Hands down.

American Gladiators FTW.

I always remember watching it as a kid, "Assault" and "Human Cannonball" being my favorites.

-TM

Oh man, that show was too cool. When I was 13. I hope it still is.

Oh Malibu, he was so great, as in bad, in the 5 episodes he was in.

Actually, by the end of the series, Nitro did become an announcer.

Also, Assault was THE BEST gladiatorial game on the entire fucking show, I've always wanted to shoot tennis balls at people from upon high since then.

I was most afraid of the laughing in the dark one. I don't know, even as a kid, it takes a lot to creep me out. My fave one was the tale of the hungry hounds. I figured it out why looking back on it, because none other then Mia Kershner is in it. Hot.

The best part was the end where the challenger had to try to hit the target with an arsenal of nerf weapons that got smaller and smaller as they got closer to it, while dodging the gigantic tennis ball cannon shot by the Gladiators... I loved that so much.

Thunder could bend him in half like nothing! There's only room for one blond muscle-bound behemoth, and that's the one that looks like a fuckin' Norseman!

if the new version doesn't feature maiming and death I'll be very dissapointed

I loved that show so much when I was a kid. I hardly ever got to see it because I didn't have cable, but...oh, when I was at my grandparents, that was the show.

I actually have a Wild & Crazy Kids t-shirt someplace. A friend of mine won a Nickelodeon birthday party and that was one of the shows involved. Whenever I wore it people would come up and ask if I was on the show. It got kind of annoying.

I'm really looking forward to not watching this.

Wasn't Hightower (from Police Academy) an American Gladiator at one point? And Wilt Chamberlain? And the cool father from My Two Dads?

No, that can't be right.

The great Mike O'Malley! He went on to star in several memorable shows. Including "Yes, Dear" and... yeah, he was great.

As long as they don't touch that theme song, I'm completely gung ho about it. They fuck with the tunes, and I'll shout "Herecy!!"