NEWS: Pope Benedict XVI: “One True Faith Are Belong To Us”

CULTURE: Pope Benedict XVI: “One True Faith Are Belong To Us”

Imagine if Dick Cheney had become President right after Ronald Reagan left office, only with more elaborate hats, and youÂ’d have a good idea of the uphill task that faced Pope Benedict XVI when he was tapped to replace one of the most beloved Popes in recent history, John Paul II, back in 2005.

True to the nickname “God’s Rottweiler” he earned back when, as Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, he was calling liberation theology “a singular heresy” and declaring that gays possessed an “intrinsic moral evil”, Pope Benedict XVI has decided that the best way to follow in John Paul II’s footsteps is to piss everybody off.

So, who has the Pope managed to offend so far?

First in line to get angry, and stop me if youÂ’ve heard this one before, were Muslims.

Back in September 2006, Pope Benedict XVI thought itÂ’d be a really good idea to make a speech in which he quoted a 14th Century Byzantine emperor:

When Muslims around the word expressed their outrage, Pope Benedict XVI claimed that the quote didn’t really express his personal thoughts about Islam, which is somewhat like yelling “Fuck you, you fucking fuck!” at a stranger and then saying they shouldn’t be angry since you were just quoting Blue Velvet.

Next stop on the “Fuck You, I’m The Pope” tour were the Jews.

Recently Pope Benedict XVI gave permission for Catholic churches to resume the use of the old-school Tridentine Mass. Also known as the Latin Mass, use of the Tridentine Mass had been widely restricted as part of the reforms and changes ushered in by the Second Vatican Council (or Vatican II: Electric Boogaloo). While the PopeÂ’s edict relaxing those restrictions was first seen as merely a sop to conservative Catholic groups, Jewish groups pointed out that the modern version of Tridentine Mass, dating back to the mid-1960s, includes a Good Friday prayer for the conversion of Jews to Christianity:

The response from the Pope? In a nutshell, “There’s nothing derogatory about that”. To be fair, he’s comparing it to the original 16th Century version:

So remember, itÂ’s a gesture of ecumenical outreach to pray to God to convert Jews to Christianity, as long as you donÂ’t call them names.

Having angered two out of the three major monotheistic Western religions, Pope Benedict XVI then went for the hat trick and took on other Christians.

To celebrate the Feasts of St. Peter and St. Paul, Pope Benedict XVI revisited an old favorite topic and announced that all Protestant churches really aren’t churches at all because they lack a direct link to the Apostles and thus lack the “means of salvation”. He then gave a reluctant semi-shout out to the Eastern Orthodox Church, claiming that while it did technically count as a church and had “many elements of sanctification and of truth”, it was “wounded” (or “defective”, depending on how you translate your Latin) by not acknowledging the Pope’s authority, only not as "profoundly wounded" as Protestant churches were.

I guess itÂ’s never too late to tell Martin Luther to piss up a rope.

Many observers, Catholic and otherwise, are worried that these are the first steps of Pope Benedict XVI attempting to turn the Catholic dogma clock back a century or two and undoing the reforms of Vatican II, especially when it comes to relations with other religions. Pope Benedict XVI claims that he’s merely clearing up “erroneous or ambiguous” liberal interpretations of Vatican II, and apparently his conservative views have helped increased both donations to the Catholic church and the number of pilgrims visiting the Vatican.

So if you belong to a religious faith that Pope Benedict XVI hasnÂ’t insulted yet, you might want to send him a postcard and remind him.

Gee who would have thought this is what you get when you make a NAZI a pope...

That's all well and good, but how is this Captivity release news?

This just in, the MPAA has now given the Pope Benedict XVI an NC-17 rating.

Finally, the MPAA applies an appropriate age restriction.

when he made his last speech, they came by and asked him to remove previously banned tapestries that he was using for decoration.

I don't think this Pope has a clue. Pope John Paul was a really awesome individual and I'm not sure any pope for a long time will be able to have the kind of impact and respect that he did. This guy has no charisma, and no brain...and this whole thing only shows how big of an idiot he is.

Oh come on, in fairness it works wonders for their PR, after all nothing screams intolerant, hatemongering ignoramuses than electing a member of the Hitler youth as your supreme ruler.

Not my pope!!!

Man, that guy is jus OLD SKOOL!

So when are the inquisitions coming back?

in this case you really didn't vote for him...hell, they didn't even have to rig any diebold voting machines.

What would it mean to believe that Catholicism is true, and to be its supreme representative, and not believe, and be willing to say, that it is the one true faith, superior absolutely or at least to some degree, to all other religions?

You can blame a religion for existing, but given that it exists, it makes no sense to blame it for claiming to be uniquely true. This isn't poetry class. This is about the ultimate nature, meaning and purpose of life, the world, soul, eternity, and everything.

If I believed in some religion, I would not feel comforted by its highest officials declining to state categorically that I'd picked the right one.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

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And just when you thought that church that brought you the crusades, and several inquisitions couldnt get any more fucked up......

I'm looking forward to Benedictd's next decree: Holy Hand Grenades for all!

I don't think there's any need to discuss the unfortunate comments about the muslims which were taken out of context and misinterpreted, so let's go straight to the "news" this time:

Permission was given to go back to the Latin version of your sunday catholic church, because some members of the tribe clamored for this; thus, because it was not an absolutely innovative idea that would bring down centuries of tradition, the wish was granted. The thought that this means the rite's going back to preaching against the jewish people, that women will have to cover their heads one again, priests will face the altar all the time, seats will be removed, and men and women shall remain in their own section of the building, not talking or exchanging looks.

It is also the doctrine of the Church to not recognize "sects" or "cults" as the "one true religion" which doesn't mean that those who adhere to them would not be allowed into Heaven, even by the catholic book, there's more than one road to salvation.

Plus it's only natural that the Head of an organization will tell its members "we're the winning team"... What, do you expect the US president to tell you all US citizens "you know what, our country kinda sucks, why don't you adopt a different nationality see if you like it, if you don't you can come back" or Bill Gates promoting the new exciting iPhone.

The holy handgrenade of Antioch

For that I would convert...... nah nevermind, I don't encounter many evil bunnies.

It's the age old war between religions. "My religion is the ONE TRUE RELIGION!" It's great because some of the Protestants don't even think Catholics are Christians. Here's a Chick track explaining some of their logic.

Yeah right. Nazi my ass. Yes he was in the Hitler Youth, but almost everybody in Germany was involved in some kind of nazi organization when he was young. It was just like in Russia, the only way to get ahead was to prove your allegiance to communist ideals, and the only way to do that was to join the communist party.

Ratzinger never shot anyone, he never gassed anyone, he had no knowledge of the holocaust (and almost no one in Germany did either before the end of the second world war).

But he's got balls, he's not afraid to piss people off, and he stays true to his beliefs. So I like him....and I'm not even a christian.

Yep, it's true. But the Pope's a free-thinking individual with a tremendous voice, and he's got a choice about whether to accept some kind of pluralism, or to continue to incite anger and perpetuate the same bullshit we've been enjoying for thousands and thousands of years. Jack Chick is just as much a dick, too, so of course, the same goes for him.

Instead of condemning everyone else, can't he accentuate the positive and tell us what's so wonderful about his made-up mythology --- err, I mean, religion?

funny how you analogized to a business there.

You know, we don't have to be Catholic.