NEWS: For Richer or for Richer: Marrying a bin Laden

CULTURE: For Richer or for Richer: Marrying a bin Laden

There are families that you want to marry into. The Rockefellers, for example, are a pretty good choice. The Hiltons have some baggage, sure, and the Kennedys have a curse, but you could do worse.

Then there are the families whom you're really better off just staying away from altogether. Osama bin Laden's brood springs to mind.

Sure, the now dethroned Judith Regan was ready and willing to sign bin Laden's niece, Wafah Dufour to a reality TV deal, but that's not marriage. That's just the way that (crazy, sensational, money-hungry, exploitative) Judith Regan did business!

Marriage, though—marriage is 'til death (or fatwa, or jihad, or honor killing) do you part! Marriage is serious stuff, which is why this lady takes the cake: The crazy, crack-rock with crystal-meth-icing cake.

Okay, so I know what you're thinking. This woman is the batshit crazy, British Islamophile version of Demi Moore, right? WRONG. I'm totally onto this broad, and she's actually quite brilliant. Check this out:

$25 million bounty...forgets his life...? Jane Felix-Browne is after the money! She's not just a cougar who enjoys sex with men 25 years her junior. She's a cougar who enjoys sex with men 25 years her junior who can lead her to Osama bin Laden and the $25 million bounty on his head.

Who knows. Maybe they're working together, and plan to split the prize. Either that, or Omar pitches one helluva big ol' Bedouin tent.

She looks really good for 51.

I think the "relative of Osama bin Laden = EVIL" crowd is a bit absurd.

I agree on both points. But with the whole "turn-in-Osama's-offspring-for-profit" scenario, I have a better idea. How much would the bounty be for one of his grandkids? 'Cause, you know, she could just keep him safe and keep churning those out, turning them in, and never have to work again.

Assuming he knows where his father is...

if they want to make 25 mil, have the dude write a book or something.

Honestly, if the guy dresses like that (looking pretty damn western to me) he's probably not on his dad's good side. But marrying for a hopeful split of the bounty is just silly.

He looks really fucken hot.

I don't understand this article at all.

They are a pretty good looking couple.

+1

Maybe this guy is like the Michael Corleone of the Bin Laden family.

yeah.. but we all know what happened to him

+1. Ya'll beat me to it, haha. It CAN'T just be that he's fucking hot. It HAS to be because she has the alterior motive of leading the authorities to his father for money.

Hmm, really? I think maybe that's more a commentary on your own mental capacities than it is on the article.

Is there not something a little bit off about a 51-year old woman who marries a 27-year old (already married) man who happens to be the 4th eldest son of Osama bin Laden, and then the two apply for a visa, so that he can "visit" her in Britain?

When y'all see someone as "fucken hot" as Omar, do you marry this person, or do you just get it on? Oh, you marry them? My mistake.

The "joke" in the article is the "conspiracy theory" that the couple are working together to gain the bounty on Osama's head.

The "joke" in real life...well, that remains to be seen. Most likely they're both just out of their minds.

Niiiiice. Great article Helen! Isn't marital bliss precious??

Maybe I'm nuts, but in that picture she looks like Chyna.

Shit, I'd let that man read my cards.

Really ?
I feel this article is a commentary on your mental capacities.
You sound like my grandmother.

I think its her 5th marriage, so she's not all that serious about it.

i'm so confused--you guys are being sarcastic about his being hot, right?

please tell me i'm not losing my mind.
i realize a 51-year-old woman usually can't be too picky, but i hope i'm not THAT blind when i get to that age. wtf.

I know you are but what am I!?

I thought it was great.
[damnit! I just noticed the eyeballs in the picture. Awesome touch]

I guess it's far too outlandish a conspiracy theory that they may actually like each other.

nice pants Omar

Bah! Like people get married because they LIKE each other! What a crock.