NEWS: Bill O'Reilly's Lesbian Gangs

CULTURE: Bill O'Reilly's Lesbian Gangs

Bill O’Reilly has got to be kidding. Recently, he got all blustery about alleged attacks by roving gangs of violent lesbians happening in cities across the country. And these aren’t your run-of-the-mill Sapphic spitfires – these are extra stylish ones who paint their 9 millimeter glocks pink and recruit children as young as ten to take part in hot girl on girl gang action.



It sounds like there was a stack of descriptions of outrageous news stories next to a stack of descriptions of late night Cinemax fare and a page got into the wrong pile. But he’s serious about it, apparently. He and his Fox News crime analyst buddy Rod Wheeler freaked out all over the epidemic, claiming there are150 lesbionic gangs in DC alone and that likeminded groups are carrying on raids against the straights all over America.

The Southern Poverty Law Center looked into these claims, and, unsurprisingly, called bullshit on them. After calling a series of law enforcement professionals, they systematically discounted every claim O’Reilly and Wheeler made.

Dragging facts into the discussion kills the buzz of O’Reilly’s lesbian fantasy. It really seems unfair. It’s like telling Virginia there’s no Santa Claus. Only Virginia’s a pervy old dude from Long Island with very odd suggested uses for Mediterranean Cuisine.

Oh damn, I thought one of my fantasies had finally materialized. Damn you O'Reilly!!!

that rifle is a little too femme, don't you think? I was thinking maybe a flannel pattern.

i hear their commitment ceremonies are pretty lawless as well

Oh Noes! It's The Lizzies!

This is *awesome.* I think The Onion should hire Bill and his crack team: he's clearly doing absurdist theater over there, and we're just not in on the joke yet.

I think yr mixing up Theatre of the Absurd with Theatre of the Ridiculous.

Fuck. I was going to say that.

Subrosa said:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

I dont even know how two chicks could do it. What would they do just scissor or something?

well, at least i have masturbation material for a few days now.

why does every one hate papa bear

Hey, stop making fun of Bill O'Reilly, he's a great guy and...

Could O'Reilly say anything that would be silly enough to make him lose credibility with his fans, or are there simply no depths of ridiculousness that they won't follow him to?

Look Ma! I'm getting me some of that culture!

I love the chick fight scene they throw in there, if only it weren't already all over the intarweb as seen here

I hear that the lesbian gangs eat the balls of small male children as an initiation rite.

I'm thinking of petitioning the Irish Parliament to permanently revoke his "O' ". Anyone wanna sign?

No doubt "The Factor" will look into this, and get back to us with their findings. Or Billo will act like this never happened.

Girls that fight like that kinda piss me off.

Orielly had a guy on last night to take apart the story. Bill actually said Wheeler got a little crazy with the story and that there were only four incidents that they could find and it really wasnt a big story. Bill said he should have looked into the story more and half assed apologized. I geuss that hasnt made You tube yet.

Just greatness.

Am I the only one who thinks that lesbians taking over doesn't sound like such a bad idea?