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TheCoolerKing

TheCoolerKing

NEWSWIRE

Los Angeles, CA

JUL 03, 2007 05:42 PM



We all knew this was coming.

Microsoft founder Bill Gates looks to have lost his title as the world's richest man, toppled from top spot by the Mexican telecoms tycoon Carlos Slim.


Way to set an example, Bill. What hope do the rest of us have if not even you can stem this tide? I knew putting nerds in charge was a mistake.

Three months ago the cigar-chomping Mr Slim quietly slipped past legendary US investor Warren Buffett to take second place in the global wealth league.


Guy who “chomps cigars,” easily trumps “guy who puts in cigarette backwards to look cool at party and ends up choking and making a fool of himself,” any day of the week. C’mon, we all know that had to have happened at some point. No doubt the memory of that night was what propelled him to greatness. And the fading of that ememory is clearly what has hastened his fall.

He needs the fear put back in him. The angry red-faced, spittle soaked chants of “Nerd!” ringing in his ears will re-ignite his once flaming passions.

I urge each of you to pull out all the stops. If we as a nation can spur him on to the greatness he once held, then he in turn can carry us on his brittle nerd-back to undreamed of new heights. Um, provided he doesn’t suffer from vertigo.

Purple-nurples, wedgies, the royal flush, the dick-kick, the New Jersey book knock… All tools we must use to get him back on the right track… and with him… America!

Now, thanks to a surge in the shares of his America Movil group, Mr Slim has claimed pole position, according to the Mexican online financial publication, Sentido Común.


Mexican publication? Hmmm… I bet it’s all a lie. Whew, false alarm everyone, call it off, no need to haze the geek.

Although, now that I think about it, a quick Indian Burn would only serve to keep him motivated.


TheCoolerKing does not actually advocate the pummeling of nerds, rich or otherwise, for any reason.

IDGAS

IDGAS

Portland, ME
March 2004

JUL 03, 2007 07:13 PM

I bet Carlos' wife is hotter than Bill's wife too.

Varuka_Salt

Varuka_Salt

I'm lost
October 2006

JUL 03, 2007 07:16 PM

DeadBilly

DeadBilly

Burnt Cabins, PA
February 2004

JUL 03, 2007 07:18 PM

Mexico, Fuck Yeah!

Ferretbite

Ferretbite

Mexico
September 2006

JUL 03, 2007 07:53 PM

IDGAS said:
I bet Carlos' wife is hotter than Bill's wife too.



He's a widower since 1999. Forbes is supposed to put him on top of the list next time they publish it, according to sources

Kryziz

kryziz

Mexico
August 2005

JUL 03, 2007 08:03 PM

yeah and we will still your job too while you are writting articles for Suicide Girls News... whatever what do you think about that? ARRR!!!

IDGAS

IDGAS

Portland, ME
March 2004

JUL 03, 2007 08:06 PM

Ferretbite said:

IDGAS said:
I bet Carlos' wife is hotter than Bill's wife too.



He's a widower since 1999. Forbes is supposed to put him on top of the list next time they publish it, according to sources




Bill and Melinda Gates
I stand by my original comment. tongue tongue

Crissis

Crissis

Ecuador
January 2007

JUL 03, 2007 08:14 PM

bill gates gives away his money, so he lifts the burden of his shoulders
being so rich makes you feel guilty.. sometimes
they all should give more money to good causes

Pandapeep

Pandapeep

Miamisburg, OH
March 2006

JUL 03, 2007 08:16 PM

They took our job!

Chainlink

Chainlink

Key West, FL
August 2005

JUL 03, 2007 08:36 PM

seanvegas

seanvegas

Lincoln, NE
December 2004

JUL 03, 2007 09:02 PM

Here I had my heart set on richest man in the world, damn!

punk

punk

Phoenix, AZ
January 2004

JUL 03, 2007 09:12 PM

Pandapeep said:
They took our job!



Dek yerp ah derrr!

CannedAir

CannedAir

Tempe, AZ
June 2007

JUL 03, 2007 09:20 PM

punk said:

Pandapeep said:
They took our job!



Dek yerp ah derrr!



chicken sandwich???

Omega_Blue

Omega_Blue

Antelope, CA
June 2007

JUL 03, 2007 09:44 PM

punk said:

Pandapeep said:
They took our job!



Dek yerp ah derrr!



LOL...

Ferretbite

Ferretbite

Mexico
September 2006

JUL 03, 2007 10:58 PM

punk said:

Pandapeep said:
They took our job!



Dek yerp ah derrr!



Get out of my head!!!! I was thinking of that one too!!!

crisladark said:
bill gates gives away his money, so he lifts the burden of his shoulders
being so rich makes you feel guilty.. sometimes
they all should give more money to good causes



Carlos Slim is also a big philantropist... Fundación Telmex pays for poor people's surgeries, maintains schools and stuff. As long as they help, I don't mind the reasons why they do it. smile

ignisfatuus

ignisfatuus

I'm lost
January 2007

JUL 04, 2007 08:04 AM

while i assume your intention is tongue-in-cheek, your commentary mostly comes off as being ignorant. try thinking before you type.

TheCoolerKing

TheCoolerKing

NEWSWIRE

Los Angeles, CA

JUL 04, 2007 10:39 AM

ignisfatuus said:
while i assume your intention is tongue-in-cheek, your commentary mostly comes off as being ignorant. try thinking before you type.



Please, enlighten me as to what I'm coming off ignorant about...

ignisfatuus

ignisfatuus

I'm lost
January 2007

JUL 04, 2007 11:12 AM

TheCoolerKing said:

ignisfatuus said:
while i assume your intention is tongue-in-cheek, your commentary mostly comes off as being ignorant. try thinking before you type.



Please, enlighten me as to what I'm coming off ignorant about...



your general tone is one of american superiority. while i realise your intention was to be jocular, it doesn't come across that way to me. your editorial just wasn't funny. largely based on your attempt at a humorous premise that another job has been taken from an american by a mexican, when in fact it hasn't. illegal immigration and illegal employment is a serious issue that doesn't work well being juxtaposed with such a triviality as world's richest person. the comparison is terrible.

furthermore, you're neglecting the fact that bill gates has endowed his charitable organization, the bill and melinda gates foundation, with roughly 40bn dollars of his personal wealth. contrast that with slim's 10bn to his own foundation.

one last thing that really bothered me was your discounting of a mexican financial publication's findings simply because it's mexican. it reeks of a sense that mexicans and all that mexicans are capable of is inferior. just because mexico has a lot of internal problems, doesn't mean they're not intelligent and capable of coming to defendable conclusions.

MessyJessy

MessyJessy

Fort Myers, FL
August 2005

JUL 04, 2007 11:22 AM

ignisfatuus said:

TheCoolerKing said:

ignisfatuus said:
while i assume your intention is tongue-in-cheek, your commentary mostly comes off as being ignorant. try thinking before you type.



Please, enlighten me as to what I'm coming off ignorant about...



illegal immigration and illegal employment is a serious issue that doesn't work well being juxtaposed with such a triviality as world's richest person. the comparison is terrible.



are you fucking serious?

ignisfatuus

ignisfatuus

I'm lost
January 2007

JUL 04, 2007 11:23 AM

MessyJessy said:

ignisfatuus said:

TheCoolerKing said:

ignisfatuus said:
while i assume your intention is tongue-in-cheek, your commentary mostly comes off as being ignorant. try thinking before you type.



Please, enlighten me as to what I'm coming off ignorant about...



illegal immigration and illegal employment is a serious issue that doesn't work well being juxtaposed with such a triviality as world's richest person. the comparison is terrible.



are you fucking serious?



yes i am.

MessyJessy

MessyJessy

Fort Myers, FL
August 2005

JUL 04, 2007 11:25 AM

ignisfatuus said:

MessyJessy said:

ignisfatuus said:

TheCoolerKing said:

ignisfatuus said:
while i assume your intention is tongue-in-cheek, your commentary mostly comes off as being ignorant. try thinking before you type.



Please, enlighten me as to what I'm coming off ignorant about...



illegal immigration and illegal employment is a serious issue that doesn't work well being juxtaposed with such a triviality as world's richest person. the comparison is terrible.



are you fucking serious?



yes i am.



i suggest you go out and buy yourself a sense of humor then...

Cigarette

Cigarette

Cleveland, OH
April 2004

JUL 04, 2007 11:27 AM

MessyJessy said:

ignisfatuus said:

MessyJessy said:

ignisfatuus said:

TheCoolerKing said:

ignisfatuus said:
while i assume your intention is tongue-in-cheek, your commentary mostly comes off as being ignorant. try thinking before you type.



Please, enlighten me as to what I'm coming off ignorant about...



illegal immigration and illegal employment is a serious issue that doesn't work well being juxtaposed with such a triviality as world's richest person. the comparison is terrible.



are you fucking serious?



yes i am.



i suggest you go out and buy yourself a sense of humor then...



Or maybe a pair of pliers, with which you can remove the stick from yr behind.

ignisfatuus

ignisfatuus

I'm lost
January 2007

JUL 04, 2007 11:28 AM

MessyJessy said:
i suggest you go out and buy yourself a sense of humor then...



defend your position that it's funny.

Cigarette

Cigarette

Cleveland, OH
April 2004

JUL 04, 2007 11:29 AM

Spock said:

MessyJessy said:
i suggest you go out and buy yourself a sense of humor then...



explain to me this "comedy".



ignisfatuus

ignisfatuus

I'm lost
January 2007

JUL 04, 2007 11:33 AM

Cigarette said:
Or maybe a pair of pliers, with which you can remove the stick from yr behind.



i challenge you to support your position with something more than an insult.

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