NEWS: How to Fake Being Canadian

CULTURE: How to Fake Being Canadian

When cruising through Europe looking for local girls nothing sucks more than getting cock-blocked in a foreign pub by some Austrian asshole who decides to blame you for the War in Iraq. Rather than having to stoop low and remind the bastard that he comes from the same country that gave us Hitler, why not avoid the whole ugly scene and fool them all into thinking you're a Canadian? Now, with the summer Euro backpacking season in full swing, a new book has come out offering tips on the best way to fool foreigners into thinking you come from the Great White North: "Faking Eh! How to Pretend Being Canadian."

Written by Dan de Figueredo, the book covers the obvious classics like wearing Canadian flag T-shirts and matching maple leaf patches for luggage. It also includes more subtle means of subterfuge, like being really polite and apologizing way too much. If you're an American and planning a voyage to far-off lands, do yourself a favor and learn the words to "Oh Canada", eh?

I need to know how to fake being American, people already think I'm from Canada,eh.

Cut me and I bleed maple syrup...

Everyone who listens to me talk thinks I'm Canadian... I'm going to keep it that way unless I'm in some place like Holland.

As for faking being Canadian, does the book teach you how to speak with at least a Canadian raising (and no, saying "a boot" doesn't count)? If not, someone is going to be able to tell. Or how about being smug? Canadians tend to be pretty smug (at least, that's my experience after living among them for a year).

Canadians are wired a different way than Americans. Does this book show you how to effectively reroute some of your own internal wiring so that you can mimic a Canadian?

Being American kind of sucks.

This was a popular tactic when I was studying abroad a million years ago. But I never bought into it. Isn't it better to change people's ideas of what being an "American" means? If all the Americans who are informed enough to be aware of international perceptions of the US pretend to be Canadian, we end up just reinforcing the negative stereotypes.

Meh. It's awesome when you're in the States, it sucks when you're in most foreign countries worth visiting (READ: "not 3rd world hell holes, and not currently experiencing, recovering from, or gearing up for a rebellion/revolution/civil war".)

It depends. If you're staying there for longer than three months, I'd say to just be real. You'll have enough time that way. That's what I did in Canada. But, if you're visiting, for a vacation or something, fuck it. You won't have enough time, and it's not worth being treated like shit just because President Chimpy McFlightsuit had to try to finish up some of Daddy's "unfinished business".

I'm not from America I am from Alaska, it's not included in most cell phone plans and is considered an over sees tour. Screw you damn american freaks. Just kidding I love this country and would let any euro freak know that I am from the land of the free, and let him know that I have taken part in the war, screw the way they view us. Who cares what the world thinks about us.....

True enough eh,
I work down there quite a bit. and you folks ain't all bad.
In fact, I've made many friends and had some great times.
unfortunately. The latest soirees in international affairs by your leaders have set perceptions back, oh,... a boot a million years eh.

P.s. Not trying to be smug eh, Sorry...

What? "Nationwide" doesn't include Alaska? I smell a lawsuit...

You're Canadian. You can't help being smug. Much like Americans can't help being arrogant.

I realize that this is done tongue-in-cheek...and really, I think this is more urban legend than widespread practice...but it still irks me a little nonetheless.

I'm not above a little good-natured ribbing. I'm also well aware of the stereotypical American abroad: loud, obnoxious, pushy, ignorant of local custom & language...wondering where the nearest McDonalds is...complaining about the warm beer & small portions. I get it.

I really wish that we would just work a little harder at being a polite guest when visitng other places...rather than pretending to be something we aren't.

On a smaller scale...I'm from New Jersey...born & raised. I think most of us know the New Jersey stereotype: rude, pushy, obnoxious...etc.

I've visited sevral places...in this country alone...and when people ask me where I'm from I answer "New Jersey"...and they invariably reply "Really? But you're so nice".

"No, I'm Canadian. It's like an American. Without a gun."

Elsinore?

The macro Canadian brews don't taste that much different from a decent American beer.

About as close to real Canadian beer as I've had is Moosehead.

It is this attitude right here that causes the rest of the world to despise Americans.

Most Canadians would fail own citizenship test.

a lot of it is urban legend, but some people still seem to think it's a good idea.

people actually don't really care if you're american. not in europe. they have better things to do than care that you are american. it's a self-centered attitude that doesn't have any basis in reality. i swear to god. people have better things to do than "hate" random americans. you're not that important.

no one has ever picked on me or been mean or kicked my ass because i'm american. i've actually had a lot of interesting conversations because of it. it would have been too bad if i had missed out on these discussions pretending to be from somewhere else.

and actually pretending to be canadian is plain retarded and would backfire. what happens when you're hanging out in a bar and a bunch of real canadians come in? then you will look like an even bigger idiot than you really are.

a few months ago i saw a backpacking couple in a train (in france). they had canadian patches on their backpacks, canadian hats, canadian sweatshirts, and some other random canadian shit. it was so overdone i was actually offended.

i turned around all loud and said "hey, where ya guys from? are you american?"

HAHAHA!!!

Good luck

Simple: drop the "right to shoot first"/"bigger is better"/"holier than thou" attitude, and you've got a chance.

the key is that you have to know how to give'r.

i have american friends down here that still can't quite wrap their heads around givin'r, which i think is why they can't drink with canadians.

Yep. I've been all over Europe since 1982 with and without my family, and people always think we're British, Canadian, Austrailan...anything but American.

People are always surprised when they find out.

Hell, last time I was in Italy (in october 2001, just after the WTC attacks) I wore this (minus the big flag on the back):



and people kept talking to me in Italian, thinking I was a local.

Being polite, nice, making at least a token attempt to learn the language and dressing decently well goes a long, long way when being a guest in a foreign country.

I was about to post that people like you make me ashamed to be an Alaskan, a military member, and an American. But you know what? That's not right at all. I do my best to represent all those things with dignity and pride, and have nothing to be ashamed of.

You, sir, should be the one who is ashamed. You are the one going out there and setting the stereotype for the cocky, ignorant American. You are the reason the world thinks American soldiers are crude and uncivilized. You are the person that makes people think Alaskans are backwards and foreign.

No, I am not ashamed of what I am. I am simply ashamed of people like you.

-T

Fake being French Canadian, being Québecois is even sexier

More of a time honoured practice, I would think, especially if you limit it to Americans putting Canadian flags on their backpacks.