NEWS: Action, Excitement, All That and a Bag of Chips

CULTURE: Action, Excitement, All That and a Bag of Chips

There is no other way to preface this story, so I'm just going to come out and say it: I love junk food. I love junk food. I have what you might call a slight obsession with the stuff, and the weirder and more "flavor explosion"-y the better. It's a weird little quirk, to be sure, but I deal with it in my own little quiet way, forcing new taste sensations on all of my friends and blogging about it until they threaten to bludgeon me with a soda bottle. This is the most visceral way I could think of to share my love of empty calories with the world, because I am not completely out of my mind. This is, I guess, also why I don't work for Frito-Lay, because they've got a new campaign going on that is really thinking outside the box. Or within the box, depending on how you look at it. It's something, all right.

The idea is that, once all the finalists' Cool Ranch-tinged games are in by October, you'll be able to visit the site (Snack Strong Productions FYI) and vote on your favorite. Then the winning game will be developed in full XBox360 glory for free download release in summer of next year.

So, okay, we all know by now that video game culture is becoming more pervasive in every facet of life these days, but Frito-Lay's new venture really begs the question: how does one design a game around a corn chip? I mean, they're delicious and come in roughly ten gillion flavors, but that's about it. Nothing really awe-inspiring, right?

Well. It disturbs me somewhat, this sort of implications of the importance of Doritos in anyone's life, but after the wild success of their Crash the Super Bowl contest (and really, it was one of the cutest commercials there), it is clear that user-generated content sells and Doritos are perfectly poised to be the YouTube of the snack food empire. At this point, how can we possibly expect to beat them? May as well join them.

The last time I had a bag of Doritos, I was pounding my way through the jungles of Guadal Canal. I pulled the pin from my last grenade, saucily popped a Fiery Habañero chip into my mouth, and...

Wait, no. The last time I had a bag of Doritos, I was down in the basement of an abandoned pharmaceutical factory, hiding from wretched medical zombies made of evil. I cocked the trigger on my plasma-blaster gun, powered up my health with a dose of Spicy Nacho, flung open the door and...

Wait, okay, no. The last time I had a bag of Doritos, I was sitting on the couch in my old gym shorts, watching reruns of Project Runway. I crunched a layer of Salsa Verde chips atop the bologna in my bagel sandwich, raised the remote control to adjust the volume, drew a semi-warm can of cherry cola to my lips, and...

Nah, that's not the Doritos experience at all.


_DictionaryGirl_ doesn't usually turn to Penny Arcade for breaking news, but this was too great to pass up. She also thinks that Smokin' Cheddar BBQ's win over Mild White Cheddar in the "Fight for the Flavor" contest was a total upset, and that Flavor X-13D tastes like cheeseburgers and ass.

Penny Arcade is a perfectly acceptable source of news.

those doriitos DO taste just like cheeseburgers. they actually have BEEF in them.

"This is the most visceral way I could think of to share my love of empty calories with the world, because I am not completely out of my mind. This is, I guess, also why I don't work for Frito-Lay, because they've got a new campaign going on that is really thinking outside the box."

Penny, nothing against you, but I hope the company paid something for this kind of fresh, hip, young, bloggedandy celebration of a rather stale marketing tie in.

I mean, is it really "outside the box" to try to reach young consumers by asking them to design a video game expressing the spirit of tortilla chips?

Wasn't there a game based on Sprite or something?
Oh no, it was that Spot character from 7-up.
I'm sure they could do a dorito-based platformer.
The character could jump into different flavoured dips which would give him different power-ups.
And all in an overly colourful faux-mexican game world.
The possibilities are endless!!!

You rule

"By the way, if anyone here is in marketing or advertising...kill yourself. Thank you. Just planting seeds, planting seeds is all I'm doing. No joke here, really. Seriously, kill yourself, you have no rationalisation for what you do, you are Satan's little helpers. Kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself now. Now, back to the show. Seriously, I know the marketing people: 'There's gonna be a joke comin' up.' There's no fuckin' joke. Suck a tail pipe, hang yourself...borrow a pistol from an NRA buddy, do something...rid the world of your evil fuckin' presence."
- Bill Hicks

The same should be applied to anyone who would enter a competition like this... or blogs about it in any less than a scathing manner. I was fully expecting to read "the author of this article was paid by Frito-Lay" down the bottom.

you cant be fucking serious!!!



you actually thought that Mild White Cheddar would win?!? It was barely different from other flavors they offer! While i did like it slightly more than the Smokin' Cheddar BBQ, Smokin' Cheddar BBQ was damn good, too. And, more importantly, it was different. It brought a unique flavor to the line that didn't step on any other flavor's toes. Once i tried both, there was no doubt whatsoever that it would win.

I'll buy the game as long as the DVD or at least the DVD case tastes like Cool Ranch.

that has to be one of my favourite penny arcade comics this year.

Don't you guys remember the game based on the 7up Spot? Because I do.

It was awesome, but probably only because I was maybe eight

Jinkies! .Found it!

btw, about X-13D. The thirteenth letter of the alphabet is M.

X-13D = X-MD.

Xperiment - McDonalds.

BLAH-DOW!!!

Angus, you are a genius.

And wow, I was kind of afraid people were going to think Doritos paid me for this article. I don't know, though. I seriously can't be scathing in my critique of the matter. I have a lot more ire for things like Fall Out Boy's music video/Axe commercial because it's an ad trying to pass itself off as art, but this is more just funny than anything. It's pretty smart advertising on the company's part and if someone truly wants to dedicate hours to building a game where chips fight lucha libre-style, that's their prerogative. It's just a really weird internet-fueled trend that's pretty ubiquitous these days. I wouldn't say it's evil, per se. Just interesting.

Plus I just can't hate the guys. Too delicious. Maybe they should pay me.

RAVE REVIEW

How about that Bragg's Apple Cidar Vinegar, eh?

Precedent: I never played it, but wasn't Cool Spot on SEGA supposed to have been a fun platformer?

NOS soda is the best thing to go hardcore with a bag o' cool ranch.

can anyone even think of a concept for this ? I sure can't. Like what, you'll be a tortilla chip ? And you'll have to do... stuff ?

Mr. Original: four posts up.

I was answering DCruz's question about what stuff to do. You were putting forth an open question to the forum. While the subject matter is the same, the intent is much different. Thanks for playing.

I've just decided I'm never eating doritos again, and I honsestly doubt it'll cause me trouble. I got all the ire you need right here if'n you need to borrow some.

It's ok, I get it; it's a clever idea... good way to get people in on these "interactive product" type deals and a good way to hook people on the "fun" of Doritos. However, like so many things, the ingenuity of Advertising (I make the word a proper noun for a reason) is misdirected. What if the people thinking of these clever ideas were promoting something useful and worthwhile? I'd much rather see a video game of someone like Bill Hicks' (can you tell the guy's a hero of mine?) "Sane Man", with the powers of "Logic" and "Reason", fighting against the forces of Fundamental Religion... something that isn't selling a product but an idea. Now that would be worth forking over a few dollars for... or writing an article about.

I'm very surprised Smokin' Cheddar BBQ won, to be honest. They've killed most of the other flavors I've ever liked in favor of blah flavors like Cooler Ranch and the regular Nacho, neither of which are things I can eat more than a handful of at a time. They do nothing for me. So I liked the BBQ flavor and thought the other was only a little tiny bit different than bog-standard Nacho. And is on their organic Doritos anyway. And was therefore primed for Smokin' Cheddar BBQ to go the way of the dodo like the wonderful Doritos Xtreme (well, stupid name, but the flavors were divine). Apparently not. Yay.