NEWS: Flavored Cocaine: The Mythical Beast Revealed

CULTURE: Flavored Cocaine: The Mythical Beast Revealed

It wasn’t so long ago that I did a jokey little write-up on Booz2Go, a form of powdered alcohol recently developed in the Netherlands. The whole thing seemed relatively harmless, despite the fact the creators had added a lime flavoring so they could market it to children. Well, the latest evolution of powdered kid-baiting toxicity has begun to appear state-side, and it’s a lot less cute than 3% alcohol lime-fizz.

The Sacramento Bee reports that DEA agents in Yolo County, California recently impounded 3 pounds of strawberry and coconut flavored cocaine. Heavens! Why, oh why, would someone taint their precious stash?

Notice he pretends to have never tasted cocaine… sure, Roy. He knows as well as I do that blow tastes like the inside of the aspirin fairy's bitter butthole after a Campari colonic.

Flavored coke, you see, is one of those substances that’s long been rumored to exist, though its authenticity has been difficult to gauge. Last fall TMZ, Defamer, and several other gossip sites ran a flurry of stories about Hollywood’s obsession with “strawberry-tinged booger sugar.” Their sources suggest flavored varieties of the drug have been around forever, though the Yolo County bust is the only case of a large amount being seized by law enforcement.

Typically you’d think candy flavorings are added to hook kids and teens, as is the case with Booz2Go and “Strawberry Quik” (flavored meth), and they’re usually priced accordingly. Even the newest form of heroin, called “cheese”, while not actually flavored, is being pushed towards our youth with its weird but innocuous name and low price-tag. Flavored yay, however, is fucking expensive:

Even though the price of non-flavored cocaine is dropping, one can only hope the high sticker price of the fruity kind will be an inhibitive factor for our oh-so-vulnerable youth. So unless your kids are celebrities or rich bastards (or sleeping with them), chances are they won’t get their hands on this crap anyway. When the heroin dealers come up with something less repulsive sounding than “cheese”, however, we can all start worrying.

How did they test it to ensure that it tastes like strawberries?

Best business plan ever though, actually getting paid to cut your product.

Wow. Maybe we should get these Mexican drug doctors working on curing cancer...

Right?!? Me too I feel guilty having never done anything... I am wayyyy too susceptible to marketing!

This is viral marketing for Quik.

+1

Artificial flavoring is never as good as the tried and true original... that is if i really wanted to relive my coke days. Well, the coke part wasn't so bad. The coming down and the next 3 days sucked hardcore.

+2

+4.

However, I live here in Sacramento, and I haven't heard about this in any of the party social circles.


Intresting.

I'll have to look around.

So I pretty much agree with all the other ladies on this one.

I do have a weakness for strawberry flavored stuff... Good news is I live in the midwest. Or is that bad news?

WTF?

WHY DO THEY MAKE ALL THE GOOD SHIT AFTER I QUIT DOING IT????

christ, it happens all the time.

You know for 72,000 dollars I bet I could find something better to get fucked up on than strawberry coke. Probably.

Why is this seen as surprising? Controlled substances are a multi-billion dollar industry. Why would the members of that industry not market their products effectively and take steps to address target markets?

I don't think it was meant so much as a surprise as it was a "*wink wink* strawberry flavored coke?! Hellz to the yah!"

Apple flavoured tobbacco smoked through a pipe is a favourite of mine.. Now where do find a strawberry flavoured coke dealer at this hour

I asked the same thing.

The snozberries taste like snozberries!

+I-lost-count


mmm, strawberries.

Mmm yes....nothing like finishing off the mirror with some tasty weed mixed w/ flavoured tobacco, wrapped in a chocolate/strawberry/vanilla blunt/ papers.........you can then lick off that flavoured paint on that hot girls leg.......life should be full of FLAVA

ps. i'm not smokin the crack

This is a new definition of Quik!

And coconut flavored??? Mighty fantastic. I'm all for people using coke if it'll help the U.S. and it's meth addiction. People I've met using coke are fun for a couple hours, people I've met using meth aren't fun more scary.

Cheese. Ew.

At least call it like, 'Fairy Dust" or something. Mmmmm "Fairy Dust."

i've never been able to describe it so accurately.