NEWS: New Miracle Cure: Good Old Fashioned Whipping

CULTURE: New Miracle Cure: Good Old Fashioned Whipping

Scientists in Siberia announced a new, or rather old-school treatment for such disorders as suicidal depression and addiction: whipping.

Claiming that addictive behavior, psychosomatic illness and thoughts of suicide are the result of “loss of interest in life,” the Russian scientists contend that the painful effects of whipping and other torturous activities raise the count of the body’s endorphins, the hormonal substance that gives humans feelings of pleasure.

So if you’re feeling bummed out why not save a few bucks, skip the Zoloft and get that special someone in your life to lay a leather strap across your ass?

great, so now i just have to figure out how to get my health insurance to cover my sessions with a dominatrix.

What if I'm depressed because I am addicted to whippings ?

Ooh Ooh! I'm depressed! me me!

Where's Zarth when I need him???

"I was feeling down and had lost all interest in life due to my being out of Heroin when along came Boris and his big stick to save the day!!!"

The Doctor will see you now.

What can I say other than I think I'm feeling a little down on life at the moment.

Not to burst any ones bubble, but I am guessing that if you volunteered to be whipped in the ass, you probably are in to that sort of thing already.

This is the same reason that people turn to "cutting". I had a really great friend with scars all over her arms because she used to be a "cutter", she said it made her feel better aout herself. She stopped after a little therapy, but she did like her spankings.

Y'know, I've had some junkie roommates who I thought could use a good ass-whuppin', but I don't think this is exactly what I had in mind.

Don't you want a dominator? It works better if it's the opposite sex, eh?

Jeez... these scientist guys are so smart... always studyin' stuff 'n comin' up with revelations for the betterment of humankind 'n all... I wanna be a scientist when I grow up!...

am I the only one who found this the funniest part of the whole story?


Those weren't gulags! those were health spas!

yes.

articles like this are part of why i love this site so much.

I don't think it's possible to be depressed with frequent whippings.

depression and addiction just became very sexy afflictions.

Does anybody know if Nixon has a Phd?

The whippings will continue until morale improves!!

this is my kind of doctor!

I read this article about a year ago, but the thing is, I can't tell if pravda is the Russian theonion. Sometimes I think it is, but I don't know enough about Russia to really know.

Didn't most people already know that whipping increases endorphins and, in fact, isn't that exactly why people do it?