NEWS: Nice to Meet You, I'm 4Real

CULTURE: Nice to Meet You, I'm 4Real

It's fun to joke about what we plan to name our kids. My friend Caroline dreams of naming her future daughter "Bikini." Another friend hopes to have twin girls whom she can name "Polly" and "Esther." And then my friend Victor swears that someday, he'll have a son named "The Unbeatable Kid." Yes, my friends may have dropped one too many tabs of acid in college, but they're nowhere near as freak-out-fried as Pat and Sheena Wheaton of New Zealand, who want to name their soon-to-be-born son 4Real.

That's right, Sheena, everyone will know exactly what it means: Sheena was a punk rocker who rocked just a little too hard.

In any case, the New Zealand Department of Internal Affairs isn't having it. Although in the past the Registrar-General of Births, Deaths and Marriages has approved names like Benson and Hedges (for twins, of course!), and Bus Stop (parents are David Bowie devotees?), they insist that numerals are not allowed.

Yeah, it's the "numeral" that's being disputed, here. Apparently if they spelled it "Foreal," too many people would feel compelled to "look it up" in a baby name book, and that would be a huuuuge issue!

I have a name suggestion for Pat and Sheena: Mai Perin Tsar Reetards.

Sounds like she is trying to jump start his rap career.

It's really only significant here because there's a numeral involved. There's no way this is any weirder than what some of our celebrities name their kids.

Apple...Audio Science...Nicholas Cage gave his son Superman's real name...yeah.

wow, and people look at me funny when I say that if I have a son I want to name him Marvin...eeesh!

I really hope this kid grows up to be the next best rapper in the world.

Not to mention Reignbeau and Freedom (Ving Rhames kids),
Pilot Inspektor (ason Lee and Beth Riesgraf ),
Diezel and Denim (thanks Tony Braxton),
Moon Unit, Ahmet Emuukha Rodan, Dweezil, and Diva (From the lovely mr.Zappa)
Zowie (David Bowies son)
Jermajesty (From Jermaine Jackson)
Prince Michael, Prince Michael II, and Paris Michael (ofcourse micheal jackson had to be a nut)

There are so many more that are just SO awful.

God that's a stupid name.

Why not make the kid's name Ivfour? Then nobody would have to look it up, and they would be Roman-Rapper Chic.

Edit:
Fuck...I'm a retard. I meant Ivreal...not Ivfour lol...I'm tired.

" So son, who beat your ass at school today?"

I went to High School with Anita Boner. No shit. Galena High, Reno, NV 1996

Or William Inge fans.

Cecil Fielder's son is named Prince, and he's leading all-star voting among NL first-basemen.

There are also several documented instances of children named Shithead, as well as Asshole.

I even read in Freakanomics about a pair of twins named Orangejello and Lemonjello ("Aranzhello" and "Lemahnzhello").

nice.

One of my coworkers named his son Superb.

Not to be outdone, 2 weeks later another coworker named his daughter Velocity.

Prince isn't all that uncommon. And while it's vain, it's not really stupid. 4real is stupid.

I know I heard about those kids elsewhere, too. The names don't sound entirely stupid when said, but once you see them spelled out, it's over for those kids. Among the dumbest names ever.

My favorite "No, you absolutely cannot name your child that" case, though? The Swedish parents who wanted to name their child Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116. Evidently, that is pronounced "Albin."

You just have to put the emphasis on the right syllable, see.

I guess it was a form of protest, but still.

I'm just gonna throw my boggle game on the floor and see what come out.

"I'd like you to meet my kid, Lasrwfgwer"

I had not seen that before. That is hilarious.

There was also that couple who were HUGE star wars fans, they named thier kids Darth Harrison and Luke Annikin. Nothing says my parents are fucked more
than names like that.

It's great to be unique, just like everyone else.

It's quite another to brand your offspring, some poor innocent child, with a weird-ass name that will induce and instill a permanent cringe in the little sucker.

I live in New Zealand, where these people actually live. I'm embarrassed for my country that this has become world news. hehehe

"Hi, I'd like to change my name to "greg" please."

"'Greg'? Why 'Greg' ? If you're going to change your name, why not change it to something cool. Like 4real, or something."

"My name is 4real."

"Oh. Nice to meet you, Greg. Have a nice day."

And hubby thought naming our child after Allister Crowley was a bad idea...

One of my ex-girlfriends apparently knew their parents. I thought she was lying about their names for a long time.