NEWS: Ex-Cop Turned Marijuana Maven Tells All... for $19.95

CULTURE: Ex-Cop Turned Marijuana Maven Tells All... for $19.95

Christmas is only half a year away, and boy do I have the perfect gift for that dope-smoking miscreant in your life: a DVD called Never Get Busted Again. Filled with helpful tips, the DVD teaches how to properly hide your stash, outsmart pesky canine cops, and a a myriad of ways to defy Johnny Law and keep your weed hidden from his prying piggy eyes. It’s sure to please all manner of drug-users, and anyone else who has some shit to hide from the fuzz. Like… terrorists, maybe.

How do you know the drug-concealing methods contained within Never Get Busted Again will work? Well, they were developed by Barry Cooper, a former ass-kicking Texan narcotics officer. You just know he's hardcore when you see the cop-stache he had back in the day. And he has certificates. Having rejected his do-gooder ways, Barry is now the newest soldier in the War against the War On Drugs, and he’s willing to sell you his expertise for only $19.95. ($29.95 gets you a bonus disc about “Hidden Compartments.”) Here's Barry after a hellacious bust:



According to an excellent article by the AP, for the past six months Cooper has been selling the DVD through his website and several smoke shops. With over 10,000 copies sold (supposedly), that’s a whole lot of immorality being spread amongst the masses. But Cooper doesn’t see it that way:

Ok, so the DVD itself is legal, got it. But in attempting to penetrate Barry’s burning cloud of stoner logic, I’m left a little disoriented. According to Barry, because the law is already “being broken,” telling people how to break the law isn’t considered helping them break it… because the law is already broken. Uh…sure dude. But wait! I can counter his argument with by using stoner logic against him: what if someone took some glue or resin or something and “repaired” the broken law? Then it would be… fixed? No. Stupid fucking logic, Barry.

Oddly enough, I’m not Barry’s only critic. The wacky weed warrior and his cannabis crusade have stirred up quite a few emotions, including jealousy, prissy annoyance, and disappointment.

Aw, whatever. An ex-cop turned burnout needs to make a living too. And there’s something charming about this guy… you’ll know what I mean when you see the video. He used to own a car dealership, then a limo service; at some point he tried promoting cage-fighting, and he’s worked at a church, too. But he didn’t turn to high-er education until his home was raided by the police in 2005. He had quit the force years before, but he claims it was this event -- when the police allegedly “bruised his children” -- that made him realize cops do more harm than good.

Sure, Barry. Either way the footage is hilarious -- and informative, if you're into that. Once you get past his Dr. Phil-like speech pattern you'll realize that he's pretty aware that his viewers will be incredibly high while they watch this, and he caters to them by talking slowly and incorporating props, like his chef’s hat. Here are a few preview clips from Never Get Busted Again, and keep an eye out for his next video, Never Get Raided, coming in September.

Canines


Traffic Stops


Conceal Your Stash

Ha! This is hilarious!

damn just when Im trying to stay clean for a piss test....

Sweet I don't personally do weed but I think my brother would enjoy this.

this guys a complete fucking jack-off!

He's a narc!!! Don't trust him!!! He's setting you up!!

Heh, to me the older pictures of him being a cop makes me think "Supertroopers". I sort of imagine this is what those guys would do when they eventually retire from the force.

This is cool...I guess. Kinda lame too, totally just a dude trying to make a quick buck. Its a waste of time for me anyway, I never have enough pot to worry about cops busting me anyway.

QFT

I heard about this guy in an article quite some time ago and thought what he was doing was good, but now that I'm seeing these clips and stuff, not so much.

I just want to know if there is a good way to beat the pee test.

how fuckin random that this guy is doing an interview on Sirius 45 right now.

This is like when NBC had the slogan, "If you haven't seen it, it's new to you!" Search function...GO!

Hopefully there's a section How Not to Have to Surrender Your Mail Order List.

some good flushing systems out there, the homegrown (and cheaper) drink water and cranberry juice, etc.

I smoke weed. Right now, even. But I still manage to get really annoyed by pot-centric products like this or Kottonmouth Kings or anything with 4:20 on it. Irony is abound.

That said, I want to read the story of this guy's life. What was the road like that lead him to the dark side? Sure, his kids "got bruised" but at what point did he go "Fuck this stress! I'm calling up my old contact, SunBeam"

seen this. my friends watch it when they smoke. it amuses them immensely

Shit, wow just found colin o'regan's earlier story. I did several searches for this before I wrote it. That story didn't have any 'tags', which explains why I never saw it. Oh well, just consider it an update with video.

Well, I think at some point this guy realized, "Wait, what's really so bad about pot?"

Then BAM!

Business opportunity!

The video is interesting.

duuuuuuude, sweeet!

Glue the law together? The author of this article is even more absurd and asinine than the former oinker. The reformed swine's point is that he is not helping to break the law but only helping to more effectively break the law. On the other hand, our marijuana laws are failed policies (outside cities such as Denver that simply issue tickets) that ruin lives and burden taxpayers immensely through prison operation costs and the absence of the prisoner's contribution to the economy (yes, stoner's too have jobs). The only fix is to stop imprisoning nonviolent offenders, levy fines, tax the drug, or relax enforcement of the law. However, I assume the author's fix is to simply burn the fourth amendment and kick in the door of everyone with hair down to their shoulders or a hemp necklace. I liked your mention of terrorism. How original.

Just because I don't smoke doesn't mean I think marijuana should be illegal. And no, I don't think any of these people should be arrested, but that shouldn't mean i can't make fun of them.

The glue thing is just making fun of Barry's horrendously unsound logic he uses to defend his position. He claims to not be helping anyone break the law, yet his only defense is that it's already being broken. That's like walking up to someone who's bleeding to death and strangling them, killing them all the faster. Sure, they were already dying, but you certainly helped. Honestly your logic that he's helping to "more effectively break the law" doesn't hold up either. It's still helping to break the law. I think these laws are stupid, granted, and in a perfect world this wouldn't even be an issue, but still, the logic is not sound.

Also, I'm not suggesting drug use and terrorism have anything to do with each other. The DVD teaches you to hide things from the authorities. Just because Barry focuses on marijuana doesn't mean everyone will; a lot of these principles would work just as well for other stuff like coke, heroin, guns, bombs, plutonium, pirate treasure, whatever... and that's where my terrorism reference comes from.

I'm glad these videos exist; I think they're entertaining, possibly informative, and I respect Barry's freedom to make them. But they're fair game to laugh at.

Do you really feel like you can trust this guy?

I thought the clips where quite entertaining and would like to see the rest of the video just for a laugh.

'...from age twelve to infinity...'