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Aaron_Lariviere

Aaron_Lariviere

Los Angeles, CA
May 2007

JUN 20, 2007 05:53 PM



Nothing says “good-time boner” quite like a slime excreting, carrion feasting, hideously-uggz hagfish. Mmm, hagfish, teach me how to love; with your creepy prehensile penis-like body and your mouth puckered like an alien asshole, you sure do push my buttons…



Pardon me, I just get so excited when exposed to bottom-dwelling freaks of nature like the West Coast dwelling hagfish. And I’m not the only one. The Associated Press reports that the disgusting sea-beast commands quite the selling price in South Korea, where the fish is often broiled and served as an appetizer.

Peter Chu, a seafood exporter in Eureka, Calif., said the fish sells for as much as $20 a pound in South Korea, which he estimates consumes 9 million pounds a year.

"There's a myth there that it's an aphrodisiac. It gives you energy like Viagra," Chu said. "It's like oysters here."


In fact, there’s such a hot market for the fish that Californian fishermen are breaking laws in order to catch them, including fishing without permits and using oversized traps. Currently there’s no limit on how many Hagfish can be caught by a single fisherman, but the demand for the fish is new, so experts don’t know what effect this will have on the Pacific population.



But let’s take the time to learn a little about our disgustingly edible friends. For starters: guess how they eat. What’s that? Ummm, no, they don't eat algae, kelp or plankton. They eat the guts of other fish, be they living, dead, or somewhere in between. Now guess how they get to those guts! Says Wikipedia:

While having no ability to enter through skin, they will often enter through current openings such as the mouth, gills or anus.


Once the hagfish has worked its way inside another sea animal, it uses the teeth-like projections on its tongue to feed on the tasty innards. Here's its sensual mouth:



But the most remarkable feature of the hagfish is its defense mechanism. When attacked, the fish excretes actual “slime”. The slime -- which is supposed to smell awful -- coagulates the surrounding water, hopefully distracting the fisherman or predator, or at the very least completely grossing him / her / it out. Words don't do the slime justice; just watch:



Now that you've learned something of the hagfish and its fascinating anatomical functions you can understand why so many people would want to eat one. I mean, it's hard not to build up an appetite watching that video; I might just have to take a trip to Koreatown... Slime-filled belly: here I come.

ahcoldpizza

ahcoldpizza

Mexico
June 2007

JUN 20, 2007 11:07 PM

mmmmm

luxmeaveritas

luxmeaveritas

Albuquerque, NM
December 2004

JUN 20, 2007 11:08 PM

Holy shit. They should be using that slime as a biological weapon.

Phantasy

Phantasy

Australia
October 2005

JUN 20, 2007 11:23 PM

That is incredible! Better than Silly Putty!

_DictionaryGirl_

_DictionaryGirl_

NEWSWIRE

San Diego, CA

JUN 20, 2007 11:36 PM

Abject horror. I am fighting back tears. Welcome, hagfish, to all my future nightmares!

Kes

Kes

USA
August 2006

JUN 20, 2007 11:36 PM

Aaron_Lariviere said:


Nothing says "good-time boner" quite like a slime excreting, carrion feasting, hideously-uggz hagfish. Mmm, hagfish, teach me how to love; with your creepy prehensile penis-like body and your mouth puckered like an alien asshole, you sure do push my buttons…

.



Rest assured, this animal finds you equally as disgusting, my friend.

Snowmeow

Snowmeow

Korea, Republic Of
November 2006

JUN 21, 2007 12:06 AM

Yeah they are pretty common here. I won't touch them though

Cassiel

Cassiel

Aurora, CO
September 2004

JUN 21, 2007 12:22 AM

christ.

Mocha

Mocha

New Orleans, LA
April 2006

JUN 21, 2007 12:32 AM

hey that video's pretty sweet.
i'd never eat one. not because they gross me out that much, but because i think they're awesome.

Moggie

Moggie

Gainesville, FL
September 2005

JUN 21, 2007 01:16 AM

Long, self-lubricating and always finds a way inside... remind you of anyone? tongue

Sorry I couldn't help myself

gnolnad

gnolnad

Japan
January 2007

JUN 21, 2007 01:29 AM

Well, if it can make water look like that. Imagine what it can do to my sea cucumber ... or yours for that matter wink That is soooo gross , yet kinda facinating wink I wonder if I could eat one ... I wonder if it would want to eat me??? or atleast my innards ... puke

paperpterodactyl

paperpterodactyl

Pittsburgh, PA
July 2006

JUN 21, 2007 02:59 AM

reasons for being vegan #3413564: broiled hagfish.

SonOfAPunk

SonOfAPunk

Maple Ridge, BC
January 2006

JUN 21, 2007 04:08 AM

Hahahahahahahaha!

"Big In Korea". That doesn't say much! Parts of me are considered "Big In Korea".




And the hagfish looks like a chump covered in chumpsauce.

Fuck the hagfish.

BatAttaK

BatAttaK

Reston, VA
OLD SKOOL

JUN 21, 2007 04:39 AM

pirateonabike said:
reasons for being vegan #3413564: broiled hagfish.



Reason why being omnivorous is better than being a vegan #1667729445829736 - Broiled hagfish boners. SCHWIIIINNNGGG!!! biggrin

SnowgodCCR

SnowgodCCR

Derry, NH
November 2006

JUN 21, 2007 05:51 AM

BatAttaK said:

pirateonabike said:
reasons for being vegan #3413564: broiled hagfish.



Reason why being omnivorous is better than being a vegan #1667729445829736 - Broiled hagfish boners. SCHWIIIINNNGGG!!! biggrin




LMFAO

Omega_Blue

Omega_Blue

Antelope, CA
June 2007

JUN 21, 2007 06:12 AM

Not a very appealing fish; I think if it were offered to me, I might try it, but it had better have a good sauce...

Heathen_Dave

Heathen_Dave

Birmingham, AL
July 2005

JUN 21, 2007 06:42 AM

I have a feeling this is one of those "These people will eat any amount of shit so long as they think it'll get them laid" deals.

Oh yeah, and that slime can also suffocate predators going after the hagfish.

P.S. I think hagfish are fucking creepy.

Nokturn

Nokturn

United Kingdom
April 2006

JUN 21, 2007 06:50 AM

Is this actually 'news' in any sense of the word?
Koreans eat weird shit.
Except for Koreans, of course, to whom it's probably very normal.
Because westerners don't eat weird shit at all...

Raleigh

Raleigh

USA
June 2006

JUN 21, 2007 07:25 AM

puke

dem_z

dem_z

United Kingdom
June 2004

JUN 21, 2007 07:31 AM

I Loved It!

remusisdying

remusisdying

Brighton, MA
March 2004

JUN 21, 2007 08:40 AM

how can you not get a good time boner just looking at the hagfish.

JayBugg

JayBugg

Fort George G Meade, MD
February 2006

JUN 21, 2007 09:21 AM

Dammit I may be in Korea, and I may be open to try new things..but uhhh....Yeah fuck that.

RileyStClair

RileyStClair

Los Angeles, CA
September 2006

JUN 21, 2007 09:34 AM

on the other hand, they do make some pretty sweet music.







sorry, i had to.

Aaron_Lariviere

Aaron_Lariviere

Los Angeles, CA
May 2007

JUN 21, 2007 09:45 AM

Nokturn said:
Is this actually 'news' in any sense of the word?
Koreans eat weird shit.
Except for Koreans, of course, to whom it's probably very normal.
Because westerners don't eat weird shit at all...



Well, in a loose sense it's news, because it's based on an AP article written yesterday which focused on the surge in Californians catching hagfish for an overseas market. I usually just write about whatever I stumble across that intrigues me, and this certainly piqued my interest.

mydogfarted

mydogfarted

Oakland, NJ
June 2003

JUN 21, 2007 09:48 AM

I'll stick to over chloronated pools for swimming. puke

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