NEWS: Big in Korea: Slimy Undersea Aphrodisiac

CULTURE: Big in Korea: Slimy Undersea Aphrodisiac

Nothing says “good-time boner” quite like a slime excreting, carrion feasting, hideously-uggz hagfish. Mmm, hagfish, teach me how to love; with your creepy prehensile penis-like body and your mouth puckered like an alien asshole, you sure do push my buttons…



Pardon me, I just get so excited when exposed to bottom-dwelling freaks of nature like the West Coast dwelling hagfish. And I’m not the only one. The Associated Press reports that the disgusting sea-beast commands quite the selling price in South Korea, where the fish is often broiled and served as an appetizer.

In fact, there’s such a hot market for the fish that Californian fishermen are breaking laws in order to catch them, including fishing without permits and using oversized traps. Currently there’s no limit on how many Hagfish can be caught by a single fisherman, but the demand for the fish is new, so experts don’t know what effect this will have on the Pacific population.



But let’s take the time to learn a little about our disgustingly edible friends. For starters: guess how they eat. What’s that? Ummm, no, they don't eat algae, kelp or plankton. They eat the guts of other fish, be they living, dead, or somewhere in between. Now guess how they get to those guts! Says Wikipedia:

Once the hagfish has worked its way inside another sea animal, it uses the teeth-like projections on its tongue to feed on the tasty innards. Here's its sensual mouth:



But the most remarkable feature of the hagfish is its defense mechanism. When attacked, the fish excretes actual “slime”. The slime -- which is supposed to smell awful -- coagulates the surrounding water, hopefully distracting the fisherman or predator, or at the very least completely grossing him / her / it out. Words don't do the slime justice; just watch:



Now that you've learned something of the hagfish and its fascinating anatomical functions you can understand why so many people would want to eat one. I mean, it's hard not to build up an appetite watching that video; I might just have to take a trip to Koreatown... Slime-filled belly: here I come.

mmmmm

Holy shit. They should be using that slime as a biological weapon.

That is incredible! Better than Silly Putty!

Abject horror. I am fighting back tears. Welcome, hagfish, to all my future nightmares!

Rest assured, this animal finds you equally as disgusting, my friend.

Yeah they are pretty common here. I won't touch them though

christ.

hey that video's pretty sweet.
i'd never eat one. not because they gross me out that much, but because i think they're awesome.

Long, self-lubricating and always finds a way inside... remind you of anyone?

Sorry I couldn't help myself

Well, if it can make water look like that. Imagine what it can do to my sea cucumber ... or yours for that matter That is soooo gross , yet kinda facinating I wonder if I could eat one ... I wonder if it would want to eat me??? or atleast my innards ...

reasons for being vegan #3413564: broiled hagfish.

Hahahahahahahaha!

"Big In Korea". That doesn't say much! Parts of me are considered "Big In Korea".




And the hagfish looks like a chump covered in chumpsauce.

Fuck the hagfish.

Reason why being omnivorous is better than being a vegan #1667729445829736 - Broiled hagfish boners. SCHWIIIINNNGGG!!!

LMFAO

Not a very appealing fish; I think if it were offered to me, I might try it, but it had better have a good sauce...

I have a feeling this is one of those "These people will eat any amount of shit so long as they think it'll get them laid" deals.

Oh yeah, and that slime can also suffocate predators going after the hagfish.

P.S. I think hagfish are fucking creepy.

Is this actually 'news' in any sense of the word?
Koreans eat weird shit.
Except for Koreans, of course, to whom it's probably very normal.
Because westerners don't eat weird shit at all...

I Loved It!

how can you not get a good time boner just looking at the hagfish.

Dammit I may be in Korea, and I may be open to try new things..but uhhh....Yeah fuck that.

on the other hand, they do make some pretty sweet music.







sorry, i had to.

Well, in a loose sense it's news, because it's based on an AP article written yesterday which focused on the surge in Californians catching hagfish for an overseas market. I usually just write about whatever I stumble across that intrigues me, and this certainly piqued my interest.

I'll stick to over chloronated pools for swimming.