NEWS: Why Are Squirrels Such Fucking Assholes?

CULTURE: Why Are Squirrels Such Fucking Assholes?

I know we all love Foamy, but the ones in Germany know how to show their motherfuckin’ squirrelly wrath, yo

Unfortunately for the rodent, he picked on the wrong 72-year-old man.

Boo ya. That’ll teach the animal kingdom not to fuck with the Germans. You’d think they’d have learned from the French or something. Stupid animals.


Yes, this article was just Subrosa’s excuse to make the “Fucking Assholes” reference. He has no shame whatsoever.

That photo is a hoot!

Seconded.

Why is it that a squirrel goes nuts at people every now and then?

The picture is hysterical, as is the mental picture I'm getting from reading this....can you imagine some old man yelling in German killing this squirrel with his cane?? HAHA

the new Fox reality show... "When squirrels attack!"

Just before I came on this site I was reading this on AOL. The squirrel will be tested for rabies and I think its the rabies that makes them do this to people.

I read about this earlier today, and first off the Title should have read A Squirrel Goes Fucking Nuts.... this story made my day and i thought it was awesome!

It isn't always rabies. Sometimes they just go batshit and attack people.

The ones out here throw hickory nuts and pecans at you.

Killjoy.

They used to do that when I was a kid in Michigan, too.

Of course, I was usually trying to hit them with a slingshot, so I guess it was only fair.

WTF! Chip & Dale have lost their way.

i dunno, but im guessing the construction worker was kind of a puss, it got past a 70 year old chick to get to him and a 72 year old dude had to finish the job. stories like this make me sad to to be a tradesman.

There was a fat one at a picnic area in Louisiana that I thought was pregnant until I saw his giant balls. He was eating bean burritos out of our hands.

My mom rehabbed a squirrel, and sometimes it would be sitting on you, eating out of your hand, then it would go apeshit and attack your face.

as opposed to

squirrels > chipmunks.

Giant rats with fluffy tails, and hangin's too good fer 'em.

i don't care what anyone says--squirrels are fucking psychotic. they are not cute. they are dangerous.

anyone who's ever spent much time on a college campus with squirrels should be familiar with how aggressive those fuckers are.

The squirrel was audition for Jackass III. the musical.

I bet you didn't know that until I'd said it.

I only read this because of the photo.

It reminds me of that photo of the dead cat on the side of a road with a sign pointing to it that says "Free Cat". It gets me every time.

There is nothing like watching a flying squirrel Fly out of the tree you are falling. I log and every time I see a flying squirrel in a tree I have to cut it. I know I am a sick fuck.

Our cat killed a squirrel and left it in the yard as a trophy the other day.

I have been attacked numerous times by squirrels. ok uno squirrel, numerous attacks. My friend rescued it as a baby and it is very territorial of her boyfriend.

Though learned that after almost going blind from being attacked with scars less than 1cm under the eye gets plenty of free drinks when telling the story even though nobody believed me. They kept asking so what really happened.

Ah i remember this time when a squirrel froze to death at the dorms and people dressed it up every day with little squirrel clothing.