NEWS: Bigfoot, if Real, Might Live in India

CULTURE: Bigfoot, if Real, Might Live in India

To hell with the naysayers, cryptozoology -- the “science” of studying animals that are hypothesized to exist -- is where it’s at these days. After years of mockery and scorn from the legitimate scientific community, these so-called cryptozoologists may finally have some new leads on their search for legendary creatures that probably don't exist.

Over the past month, reports of “bigfoot” sightings have been coming from villagers in the Gara hills area of India. The creatures have been described as “hairy giants," which is interesting considering the only species of ape native to India is the Hoolock Gibbon, and they aren’t known to get much bigger than 3-feet-tall. In an interview with AFP, a villager describes the creatures:

In another article by the Times of India, amateur anthropologist SR Krishnaswamy claims to have found some compelling evidence of his own:

As these discoveries come at a time when the world is pressed for more and more cheap labor, there seems to be an obvious solution as to what to do with Bigfoot if and when we do find them. With captive breeding, surely we could domesticate them and train them to do useful tasks like putting up drywall, digging ditches, or directing traffic. The possibilities are truly endless: if shaved, they could be used as stunt doubles, crash test dummies, or as attractions in Surviving the Game-style human-hunting theme parks (sure to be a hit with the NRA set).

And if the hairy giants turn out lazy, they could always be slaughtered; their high-protein flesh being a natural, albeit furry, solution to world hunger. I expect "Bigfoot Jerky" would be an obvious success at truck-stops throughout the world.

In vaguely related cryptozoological news, a few weeks ago a British gent claims to have captured footage of the Loch Ness Monster on video. The story, to me, isn't all that interesting, as the potential for reptilian slave labor seems relatively low. But do take a look at the video:

You obviously haven't seen Conquest of the Planet of the Apes!

LOL! I find this story amusing and it shows how backward the people are in some parts of the world; If there was actually an 8 foot tall bipedal ape like creature with the intelligence to construct and use stone tools, don't you think we would have encountered it directly or at least found settlements or evidence of its existence? This story reminds me of the fantastic stories of other x-creatures such as popo bawa or the chupacabra: an intelligent creature only seen at night or when people are alone in the woods hunting, who only leave footprints as evidence , and can only be described by anecdotes of the "eyewitnesses".

dude, chupacabras are real. i saw the skeleton of one at the freak show on the venice boardwalk.

I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss Indians as "backward." A lot of Americans believe in Bigfoot, too.

for some reason, i adore this post.

What I find interesting about people's arrogant responses to "backward people" or the unknown. Is that at one point in time it was common knowledge that the world was in fact FLAT. And if you thought otherwise, you were an insane person.

I mean, only in the last year have we captured photographs of the giant squid! And it's not like they JUST showed up.

part of me really wants there to be such things as Bigfoot, but if they did turn out to be real , some nutcase is going to go and kill them all for the hunting joy

it's true! i swear! lovette works there and she wouldn't LIE to me.

But... I thought my article just proved Bigfoot does exist. I even found compelling photographic evidence for my headline banner...

LOL! The accounts from the story remind me of a caller to coast to coast am, who claimed to have shot a bigfoot while hunting, and to have taken the body home and place it in his freezer; then the caller stated his fear that if he released it to the world the government would take it away...

Thank you. I find it really foolish that people tend to only poke ridicule at things we don't really know all the truth beind instead of just trying to figure out really what the hell is going on.

But on a lighter note

+1

and hawt.

I love how in every "hunting-humans," movie the homeless guy they decide to hunt always turns out to be an ex-navy seal, green beret, robot fighter.

my stepdad is a close cousin of the sasquatch and or bigfoot species!

All I'm saying is it's absurd to assume things don't exist because you can't see them. aka.. germs?

But sir, Giant Squids have been washing up dead on the coast for years, so there was at least evidence of their existence. If we found some Bigfoot bodies or at least some bones there would be less skeptisim.

Isn't it strange how the Lochness Monster has been alive for the past few hundred years. Is it really the same one?

The only thing I believe in that doesn't have complete proof are Aliens. I don't give a fuck they are out there. The TRUTH is out there.

And I really hate to be the acronym police, but "AKA" stands for Also Known As. I believe the one you were looking for is "e.g." or Exempli Gratia AKA in example.

But whom would we hire to shave them??

India... I knew it, I fuckin' knew it ...

What's really amusing is what you think you "know."

1). I've never heard any claims that bigfoot/yeti/sasquatch is a tool using creature, or that it contstructs permanent settlements. If you have a link to any such claims, I'd really like to examine the information myself.

2). There are still places on this planet that no human being has set foot on in recorded history. Large expanses of wilderness in the North American north west are still uninhabited, unexplored, and uncharted, as area of Asia, notably the Himilayan mountains, where yetis are purported to exist. During World War II, allied pilots flew cargo runs through the Himilayas to drop supplies to Chinese forces fighting the Japanese. There were no maps of the areas, and they had to fly solely on compass bearings, some crews were killed when they crashed into the sides of mountains that were enveloped in cloud banks, because there were no maps to tell the pilots that the mountains were there.

Not only is it possible that there is a species of large mammal that we have yet to discover, it is highly likely.

3). Casts have been made of thousands of bigfoot/yeti/sasquatch footprints. Many have been analyzed by forensic scientists who specialize in the analysis of dermal ridges (finger prints and foot prints). All great ape species have dermal ridges on their feet. Though each individual's is unique, a species as a whole also has a distinct pattern that identifies it. Analysis of these casts has concluded that the dermal ridges conform to no known species of primate. And since I know what your response would be, the ones that were not obvious fakes (because yes, there are admitedly faked sightings and footprints), and thus taken for analysis were also determined to have a pattern too complex to be faked.

yay...chewbacca is real I tell ya...the guy in a suit was just a cover!!!