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Aaron_Lariviere

Aaron_Lariviere

Los Angeles, CA
May 2007

JUN 11, 2007 12:23 PM



To hell with the naysayers, cryptozoology -- the “science” of studying animals that are hypothesized to exist -- is where it’s at these days. After years of mockery and scorn from the legitimate scientific community, these so-called cryptozoologists may finally have some new leads on their search for legendary creatures that probably don't exist.

Over the past month, reports of “bigfoot” sightings have been coming from villagers in the Gara hills area of India. The creatures have been described as “hairy giants," which is interesting considering the only species of ape native to India is the Hoolock Gibbon, and they aren’t known to get much bigger than 3-feet-tall. In an interview with AFP, a villager describes the creatures:

The sight was frightening: two adults and two smaller ones, huge and bulky, furry. Their heads looked as if they were wearing caps, and their color was blackish-brown. The four of them quietly vanished into the undergrowth.


In another article by the Times of India, amateur anthropologist SR Krishnaswamy claims to have found some compelling evidence of his own:

"We found four footprints of Bigfoot. In one, the footprint of the adult male measures 29 inches and the female size is 26 inches. Even the young one's foot size is 8.5 inches," said Krishnaswamy on Monday. Going by the size of the footmarks, the anthropologists say Indian Bigfoot would have been far bigger than his Australian and Malaysian counterparts, estimated to be about 8 feet tall and weighing a hefty 350 kg.

"The Bigfoot found in these parts would be diametrically opposite to his counterparts in size, weight and eating habits. Stone tools that lie strewn around testify he used to prey on wild animals", said Krishnaswamy.


As these discoveries come at a time when the world is pressed for more and more cheap labor, there seems to be an obvious solution as to what to do with Bigfoot if and when we do find them. With captive breeding, surely we could domesticate them and train them to do useful tasks like putting up drywall, digging ditches, or directing traffic. The possibilities are truly endless: if shaved, they could be used as stunt doubles, crash test dummies, or as attractions in Surviving the Game-style human-hunting theme parks (sure to be a hit with the NRA set).

And if the hairy giants turn out lazy, they could always be slaughtered; their high-protein flesh being a natural, albeit furry, solution to world hunger. I expect "Bigfoot Jerky" would be an obvious success at truck-stops throughout the world.

In vaguely related cryptozoological news, a few weeks ago a British gent claims to have captured footage of the Loch Ness Monster on video. The story, to me, isn't all that interesting, as the potential for reptilian slave labor seems relatively low. But do take a look at the video:

JonnyJonnyH

JonnyJonnyH

Seattle, WA
June 2003

JUN 11, 2007 02:44 PM

With captive breeding, surely we could domesticate them and train them to do useful tasks like putting up drywall, digging ditches, or directing traffic. The possibilities are truly endless



You obviously haven't seen Conquest of the Planet of the Apes!

Omega_Blue

Omega_Blue

Antelope, CA
June 2007

JUN 11, 2007 02:45 PM

LOL! I find this story amusing and it shows how backward the people are in some parts of the world; If there was actually an 8 foot tall bipedal ape like creature with the intelligence to construct and use stone tools, don't you think we would have encountered it directly or at least found settlements or evidence of its existence? This story reminds me of the fantastic stories of other x-creatures such as popo bawa or the chupacabra: an intelligent creature only seen at night or when people are alone in the woods hunting, who only leave footprints as evidence , and can only be described by anecdotes of the "eyewitnesses".

RileyStClair

RileyStClair

Los Angeles, CA
September 2006

JUN 11, 2007 02:56 PM

dude, chupacabras are real. i saw the skeleton of one at the freak show on the venice boardwalk.

mingol

mingol

Singapore
July 2005

JUN 11, 2007 02:59 PM

Omega_Blue said:
LOL! I find this story amusing and it shows how backward the people are in some parts of the world; If there was actually an 8 foot tall bipedal ape like creature with the intelligence to construct and use stone tools, don't you think we would have encountered it directly or at least found settlements or evidence of its existence?



I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss Indians as "backward." A lot of Americans believe in Bigfoot, too.

Cassiel

Cassiel

Aurora, CO
September 2004

JUN 11, 2007 03:02 PM

yourfashionwar said:
dude, chupacabras are real. i saw the skeleton of one at the freak show on the venice boardwalk.



for some reason, i adore this post.

N8theSk8

N8theSk8

Pittsburgh, PA
March 2005

JUN 11, 2007 03:04 PM

What I find interesting about people's arrogant responses to "backward people" or the unknown. Is that at one point in time it was common knowledge that the world was in fact FLAT. And if you thought otherwise, you were an insane person.

I mean, only in the last year have we captured photographs of the giant squid! And it's not like they JUST showed up.





JoLeigh

JoLeigh

SUICIDEGIRL

Florida, USA

JUN 11, 2007 03:06 PM

Cassiel said:

yourfashionwar said:
dude, chupacabras are real. i saw the skeleton of one at the freak show on the venice boardwalk.



for some reason, i adore this post.




I LOVE IT

Mark_plus_Beer

Mark_plus_Beer

United Kingdom
August 2005

JUN 11, 2007 03:21 PM

part of me really wants there to be such things as Bigfoot, but if they did turn out to be real , some nutcase is going to go and kill them all for the hunting joy

RileyStClair

RileyStClair

Los Angeles, CA
September 2006

JUN 11, 2007 03:42 PM

JoLeigh said:

Cassiel said:

yourfashionwar said:
dude, chupacabras are real. i saw the skeleton of one at the freak show on the venice boardwalk.



for some reason, i adore this post.




I LOVE IT



love
it's true! i swear! lovette works there and she wouldn't LIE to me.

Aaron_Lariviere

Aaron_Lariviere

Los Angeles, CA
May 2007

JUN 11, 2007 04:19 PM

Omega_Blue said:
LOL! I find this story amusing and it shows how backward the people are in some parts of the world; If there was actually an 8 foot tall bipedal ape like creature with the intelligence to construct and use stone tools, don't you think we would have encountered it directly or at least found settlements or evidence of its existence? This story reminds me of the fantastic stories of other x-creatures such as popo bawa or the chupacabra: an intelligent creature only seen at night or when people are alone in the woods hunting, who only leave footprints as evidence , and can only be described by anecdotes of the "eyewitnesses".



But... I thought my article just proved Bigfoot does exist. I even found compelling photographic evidence for my headline banner...

Cairo

Cairo

SUICIDEGIRL

Maryland, USA

JUN 11, 2007 04:45 PM

N8theSk8 said:
Is that at one point in time it was common knowledge that the world was in fact FLAT. And if you thought otherwise, you were an insane person.



That's actually a myth.

It must first be reiterated that with extraordinary few exceptions no educated person in the history of Western Civilization from the third century B.C. onward believed that the earth was flat. A round earth appears at least as early as the sixth century BC with Pythagoras, who was followed by Aristotle, Euclid, and Aristarchus, among others in observing that the earth was a sphere. Although there were a few dissenters--Leukippos and Demokritos for example--by the time of Eratosthenes (3 c. BC), followed by Crates(2 c. BC), Strabo (3 c. BC), and Ptolemy (first c. AD), the sphericity of the earth was accepted by all educated Greeks and Romans.

Nor did this situation change with the advent of Christianity. A few%u2014at least two and at most five--early Christian fathers denied the spherically of earth by mistakenly taking passages such as Ps. 104:2-3 as geographical rather than metaphorical statements. On the other side tens of thousands of Christian theologians, poets, artists, and scientists took the spherical view throughout the early, medieval, and modern church. The point is that no educated person believed otherwise.

Cairo

Cairo

SUICIDEGIRL

Maryland, USA

JUN 11, 2007 04:47 PM

Omega_Blue said:
LOL! I find this story amusing and it shows how backward the people are in some parts of the world



What makes you think that Americans are so enlightened?

Omega_Blue

Omega_Blue

Antelope, CA
June 2007

JUN 11, 2007 04:50 PM

LOL! The accounts from the story remind me of a caller to coast to coast am, who claimed to have shot a bigfoot while hunting, and to have taken the body home and place it in his freezer; then the caller stated his fear that if he released it to the world the government would take it away...

ash67

ash67

USA
October 2005

JUN 11, 2007 04:50 PM

N8theSk8 said:
What I find interesting about people's arrogant responses to "backward people" or the unknown. Is that at one point in time it was common knowledge that the world was in fact FLAT. And if you thought otherwise, you were an insane person.

I mean, only in the last year have we captured photographs of the giant squid! And it's not like they JUST showed up.








Thank you. I find it really foolish that people tend to only poke ridicule at things we don't really know all the truth beind instead of just trying to figure out really what the hell is going on.

But on a lighter note

Azkadellia

Azkadellia

South Haven, MI
April 2007

JUN 11, 2007 05:25 PM

ash67 said:

N8theSk8 said:
What I find interesting about people's arrogant responses to "backward people" or the unknown. Is that at one point in time it was common knowledge that the world was in fact FLAT. And if you thought otherwise, you were an insane person.

I mean, only in the last year have we captured photographs of the giant squid! And it's not like they JUST showed up.








Thank you. I find it really foolish that people tend to only poke ridicule at things we don't really know all the truth beind instead of just trying to figure out really what the hell is going on.

But on a lighter note



+1

and hawt.

TheCoolerKing

TheCoolerKing

NEWSWIRE

Los Angeles, CA

JUN 11, 2007 06:52 PM


...could be used as stunt doubles, crash test dummies, or as attractions in Surviving the Game-style human-hunting theme parks



I love how in every "hunting-humans," movie the homeless guy they decide to hunt always turns out to be an ex-navy seal, green beret, robot fighter.

coop38926

coop38926

USA
May 2007

JUN 11, 2007 07:09 PM

my stepdad is a close cousin of the sasquatch and or bigfoot species!

N8theSk8

N8theSk8

Pittsburgh, PA
March 2005

JUN 11, 2007 09:04 PM

Cairo said:

N8theSk8 said:
Is that at one point in time it was common knowledge that the world was in fact FLAT. And if you thought otherwise, you were an insane person.



That's actually a myth.

It must first be reiterated that with extraordinary few exceptions no educated person in the history of Western Civilization from the third century B.C. onward believed that the earth was flat. A round earth appears at least as early as the sixth century BC with Pythagoras, who was followed by Aristotle, Euclid, and Aristarchus, among others in observing that the earth was a sphere. Although there were a few dissenters--Leukippos and Demokritos for example--by the time of Eratosthenes (3 c. BC), followed by Crates(2 c. BC), Strabo (3 c. BC), and Ptolemy (first c. AD), the sphericity of the earth was accepted by all educated Greeks and Romans.

Nor did this situation change with the advent of Christianity. A few%u2014at least two and at most five--early Christian fathers denied the spherically of earth by mistakenly taking passages such as Ps. 104:2-3 as geographical rather than metaphorical statements. On the other side tens of thousands of Christian theologians, poets, artists, and scientists took the spherical view throughout the early, medieval, and modern church. The point is that no educated person believed otherwise.



All I'm saying is it's absurd to assume things don't exist because you can't see them. aka.. germs?

Matthew_O

Matthew_O

Los Angeles, CA
December 2006

JUN 12, 2007 12:35 AM

N8theSk8 said:
What I find interesting about people's arrogant responses to "backward people" or the unknown. Is that at one point in time it was common knowledge that the world was in fact FLAT. And if you thought otherwise, you were an insane person.

I mean, only in the last year have we captured photographs of the giant squid! And it's not like they JUST showed up.



But sir, Giant Squids have been washing up dead on the coast for years, so there was at least evidence of their existence. If we found some Bigfoot bodies or at least some bones there would be less skeptisim.

Isn't it strange how the Lochness Monster has been alive for the past few hundred years. Is it really the same one?

The only thing I believe in that doesn't have complete proof are Aliens. I don't give a fuck they are out there. The TRUTH is out there.

Matthew_O

Matthew_O

Los Angeles, CA
December 2006

JUN 12, 2007 12:44 AM

N8theSk8 said:


All I'm saying is it's absurd to assume things don't exist because you can't see them. aka.. germs?



And I really hate to be the acronym police, but "AKA" stands for Also Known As. I believe the one you were looking for is "e.g." or Exempli Gratia AKA in example.

hor

hor

I'm lost
June 2005

JUN 12, 2007 01:25 AM


The possibilities are truly endless: if shaved, they could be used as stunt doubles, crash test dummies, or as attractions in Surviving the Game-style human-hunting theme parks (sure to be a hit with the NRA set).



But whom would we hire to shave them?? confused

JII

JII

Arlington, VA
August 2005

JUN 12, 2007 01:27 AM

India... I knew it, I fuckin' knew it ...

RudieCantFail

RudieCantFail

I'm lost
January 2006

JUN 12, 2007 01:31 AM

Omega_Blue said:
LOL! I find this story amusing and it shows how backward the people are in some parts of the world; If there was actually an 8 foot tall bipedal ape like creature with the intelligence to construct and use stone tools, don't you think we would have encountered it directly or at least found settlements or evidence of its existence? This story reminds me of the fantastic stories of other x-creatures such as popo bawa or the chupacabra: an intelligent creature only seen at night or when people are alone in the woods hunting, who only leave footprints as evidence , and can only be described by anecdotes of the "eyewitnesses".



What's really amusing is what you think you "know."

1). I've never heard any claims that bigfoot/yeti/sasquatch is a tool using creature, or that it contstructs permanent settlements. If you have a link to any such claims, I'd really like to examine the information myself.

2). There are still places on this planet that no human being has set foot on in recorded history. Large expanses of wilderness in the North American north west are still uninhabited, unexplored, and uncharted, as area of Asia, notably the Himilayan mountains, where yetis are purported to exist. During World War II, allied pilots flew cargo runs through the Himilayas to drop supplies to Chinese forces fighting the Japanese. There were no maps of the areas, and they had to fly solely on compass bearings, some crews were killed when they crashed into the sides of mountains that were enveloped in cloud banks, because there were no maps to tell the pilots that the mountains were there.

Not only is it possible that there is a species of large mammal that we have yet to discover, it is highly likely.

3). Casts have been made of thousands of bigfoot/yeti/sasquatch footprints. Many have been analyzed by forensic scientists who specialize in the analysis of dermal ridges (finger prints and foot prints). All great ape species have dermal ridges on their feet. Though each individual's is unique, a species as a whole also has a distinct pattern that identifies it. Analysis of these casts has concluded that the dermal ridges conform to no known species of primate. And since I know what your response would be, the ones that were not obvious fakes (because yes, there are admitedly faked sightings and footprints), and thus taken for analysis were also determined to have a pattern too complex to be faked.

deadmanshand

deadmanshand

United Kingdom
June 2004

JUN 12, 2007 04:12 AM

yay...chewbacca is real I tell ya...the guy in a suit was just a cover!!! biggrin

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