Have you ever thought about how cool it would be to be Spiderman? Or perhaps end up in the sack with Peter Parker? Well, luckily for Peter Parker he didn't take a science field trip to Chile or else his alter-ego may have gone a different route, i.e. porn star or contraceptive tycoon.

Scientists have discovered a potentially marketable contraceptive in the venom of Chiles black widow spider, whose bite is fatal to many but can also cause prolonged, painful and involuntary erections in men.

Let's see, Peter Parker as the next Ron Jeremy or Orgazmo? He may be a bite away from the emergency room but you know what they say, with great power comes great responsibility.

Chilean Dr. Fernando Romero is the man responsible for this particularly odd discovery and his findings came about something like this:

His team discovered the property after looking into Chilean folklore that describes a virile man, one known to have spectacular sexual energy or many sexual partners, as being spider-bitten.

The Chilean black widow is also known as the wheat spider for the wheat fields it inhabits and where its farmer-victims receive their often fatal bite.

The spiders bite can kill children and the elderly, but among strong young farmers it leads to erections that can last for days and involve involuntary ejaculations.

At the end of the ordeal, the man is left sexually energized and feels physically stronger, the saying goes.

Let's hear it for spidey sex -- great strength and sexual energy, and a little involuntary mess... Mary Jane is stoked and we haven't even gotten to the good stuff!

The venom of the Latrodectus mactans, a variety of black widow found only in the south of Chile, has spermicidal properties not found in black widows in other regions of the world, Chilean Dr. Fernando Romero said.

This spermicide is good, real good.

He said he believes the molecules natural properties are superior to those of synthetic spermicides currently on the market.

It seems Dr. Romero has discovered a Viagra equivalent and contraceptive all in one. That is, of course, until we see the commercials one day listing all the side effects like lack of sleep, loss of hair, anal leakage...who knows?!

Romero said he was confident his research would be complete in a couple of years and the spermicide would become available to world markets.

We have to make sure there are no side effects ... so that it can be used as a gel in combination with condoms, or as suppositories for women.

I don't know about you, but I think I'll pass on this version of Spiderman. Suppositories...mmm...

Cassiel

Aurora, CO

September 2004

JUN 01, 2007 06:13 PM

christ.

photoline

Edmonton, AB

January 2005

JUN 01, 2007 06:15 PM

Sounds like a very sticky situation...

Bicycle_Samurai

York, ON

September 2003

JUN 01, 2007 06:32 PM

Suppository contraceptives. LOLZ.

Lemonkid

Canada

May 2003

JUN 01, 2007 06:35 PM

Go nature, it's your birthday, go nature..

PaulNikon

Palm Bay, FL

February 2003

JUN 01, 2007 06:43 PM

"prolonged, painful and involuntary erections"- Sounds like being a 13 year old boy.

Tritone

Saint Paul, MN

May 2004

JUN 01, 2007 08:15 PM

PaulNikon said:
"prolonged, painful and involuntary erections"- Sounds like being a 13 year old boy.

whiterabbit819

Sacramento, CA

September 2006

JUN 01, 2007 08:15 PM

Thia knowlege of venom causeing prolonged erections has been around for a LONG time. In fact Chuck Palahniuk's (the author of Fight Club) new book deals with a charicter who is addiced to animal and bug venom because of its sexual side effects. The spermicide however is new