NEWS: Kids These Days Love their Salad Dressing

Wish-bone?

Hah! I was wondering what they'd do to that kid.

I really don't.
It's the 21st centuary. Teenagers need to be both aware and responsible when flinging their semen around.
The same is true of binge drinking and driving and other 'fun stunts'.
The kid is quite literally a wanker and deserves all the shit he gets for it.

That's why I "Brown Bagged" it to school. My mom would never jack off into my lunch.

sounds like the makin's for a caesarian salad.

+100

This still doesn't top the most disgusting school story I have ever heard. Back when I was in junior high, one of the teachers thought it was necessary to tell us about a student who, the day after the 'Mr. Hanky' South Park episode was aired, decided to smear feces all over the men's bathroom. I'm not sure if he was ever caught since after the episode re-aired the same thing happened again.

If only...

The grill boys at the McDonald's that I worked at during high school used to take the McChicken sauce pumps to the bathroom with them on break and jerk off into them. That's why I always tell people to get the sauce in a packet.

So glad I took my lunch to school...or went home!

shcool is for loosers

Get tested, kids!

Ack.

Well, I'm guessing it wasn't an entire bottle of sperm. I'm assuming that when he took it to the bathroom with him he jacked off into the bottle once and the bottle already had ranch in it. Then he probably shook it up and... magic sauce.

*if it was an entire bottle of sperm he needs to be removed from high school and placed into pornographic films, stat!

High School cafeteria food is gross the way it is without someone tampering with it.

If I'd have known it was going to be that kind of party I'd have stuck my dick in the mashed potatoes!

Ugh that's sick. I'm glad I make my own lunch x

Sure makes me glad I don't eat salad or use the ranch dressing at our school, hah. I could definitely see some student at my school doing that...I feel bad for anyone that actually ate it. Ew.

And this is why I never used any of the jumbo sized condiments in high school. Who seriously thinks allowing teenagers to share condiments is a good idea? Kids are filthy little animals for the most part.

But, in reality, it probably doesn't taste all that different. People should make their own. Salad dressing, I mean.

see people, that's why you should never ever eat at cafeterias... make your own lunches or do like me, go and eat home and skip the whole socializing aspect of high school !