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_DictionaryGirl_

_DictionaryGirl_

NEWSWIRE

San Diego, CA

MAY 24, 2007 11:42 PM



Hey, remember that episode of Saved by the Bell where Jessie Spano gets hooked on dastardly caffeine pills, and her big reason for going off the deep end is that she's afraid of getting rejected from Stanford? Thankfully she got the bed rest, counseling, and Zack Morris pep talk that she so desperately needed; otherwise, who knows what might have become of her.

Stanford University officials said Thursday they were investigating claims that a young Orange County woman passed herself off as a student, talked her way into several dormitories and lived on campus for eight months.


Eight months, people. Eight months. That's almost an entire school year! So far the girl has been identified as a high school graduate from Fullerton, but not a lot has been reported motive-wise. All I can say is she's either a con artist of the most genius degree, or just simply insane enough to be totally confident. I am also amazed at what her dorm mates were willing to believe for so long.

During the fall and winter terms, Kim allegedly slept in the other women's room or the lounge of the 210-resident dorm. Last month, she moved into another dorm after being referred to another student who needed a roommate. Residence hall associates became suspicious after comparing conflicting statements Kim allegedly gave and contacting the student housing office. Kim was confronted Monday and escorted from campus, according to the Stanford Daily.


She apparently got into her dorm room every day by climbing through a window, on account of she didn't ever have a key. Because a key was never issued, obviously, but what are her roommates' excuses? Did they think she was just quirky? Kids climb through windows on TV all the time, but it's pretty awkward to keep up in real life when there's a door right there.

The news does not report whether she was intending to go to Stanford and was rejected, or whether this was just a whim. I'm willing to bet it was the former, and the stress of rejection was just too much to take, which is really more tragic than anything. Regardless, the girl assimilated into her college life pretty well, buying textbooks and studying with her newfound friends, but nothing lasts forever, least of all a wild tangle of lies. She is currently under investigation for a nearly-free Stanford education and wanton cafeteria-mooching, and it almost goes without saying, but she must be so... so... scared.

Jaylin

Jaylin

SUICIDEGIRL

California, USA

MAY 25, 2007 02:03 AM

But Zack, I HAVE to sing!!!!
I'm so excited. I'm so excited!!!
I'm so .... SCARED

eeek

*best episode ever*

private_grave

private_grave

Belgium
April 2005

MAY 25, 2007 02:51 AM

..pfff...
lectures should be open to the public,
but a teacher look at your papers should cost money.

Drago

Drago

Philadelphia, PA
January 2004

MAY 25, 2007 03:40 AM

Eight months is nothing, I have a friend who faked being in college for two and a half years. He dropped out two and a half years in and pretended that he was going for another two and a half. He lied to all of his parents, friends and girlfriends the entire time. He even went to graduation and had his parents throw him a graduation party and they bought him an SUV as a present. All of his friends figured it out in the first year or so, so there was this huge elephant in the room for the rest of college. It was awkward.

geasavenger

geasavenger

West Bend, WI
May 2005

MAY 25, 2007 03:49 AM

private_grave said:
..pfff...
lectures should be open to the public,
but a teacher look at your papers should cost money.



That is a good point...really i think college should be free...but that is just me...

that is not a bad idea as far as hybrid goes though.

I used to sit in on college classes at UWM myself before i enrolled, but then again I am one of the rare people who cares about learning, not just getting a degree. On that note, if you know what you are talking about from self studing you should be able to just test to get degrees. I mean a evaluation by members of the field by the way not just some multible choice non-sense that proves very little. Barring some few mandertary classes in some fields that are much more critical to have exceptional standards, like medicine. I will stop ranting about it for now though...

Aaronsrod

Aaronsrod

Australia
November 2003

MAY 25, 2007 03:50 AM

with ingenuity like that she deserves an education.

Kinmotsu

Kinmotsu

Jonesport, ME
August 2006

MAY 25, 2007 04:56 AM

Aaronsrod said:
with ingenuity like that she deserves an education.


Unfortunately, when dealing with the egoes of the housing directors and dean of students, who in turn have THEIR bosses breathing down their neck about how a fiasco like this could occur right under their noses, the odds of the 80s movie-style "Wow, that was ingenius. We should definitely reconsider." ending to this story are virtually nihl.

Melly

Melly

SUICIDEGIRL

Kentucky, USA

MAY 25, 2007 06:28 AM

I can't even find the words. It reminds me of a movie I "accidentally" saw on USA Up All Night..... Sigh... Rhonda Shear... those were the days indeed.

Anways, this was a fun story for me to write about at work last night. I can see how it went unnoticed. Thousands of students on campus, everyone consumed with their own selfish thoughts and ambitions... why would anyone question this girl's presence?

Subrosa

Subrosa

San Francisco, CA
July 2004

MAY 25, 2007 06:49 AM

Kinmotsu said:

Aaronsrod said:
with ingenuity like that she deserves an education.


Unfortunately, when dealing with the egoes of the housing directors and dean of students, who in turn have THEIR bosses breathing down their neck about how a fiasco like this could occur right under their noses, the odds of the 80s movie-style "Wow, that was ingenius. We should definitely reconsider." ending to this story are virtually nihl.



It's not just the egos of the housing directors at issue. Those people are charged with the safety and security of every student living on campus. Because they had no idea who this woman was, because she was basically trespassing, they had no choice but to remove her.

This woman could have been anyone. She could have been some dangerous criminal instead of just some funny story.

Rush

Rush

Memphis, TN
June 2005

MAY 25, 2007 06:50 AM

Jaylin said:
But Zack, I HAVE to sing!!!!
I'm so excited. I'm so excited!!!
I'm so .... SCARED

eeek

*best episode ever*


^ That is what I wanted to post immediately after reading this :-)

ferrofluid

ferrofluid

Brooklyn, NY
February 2004

MAY 25, 2007 06:59 AM

Drago said:
Eight months is nothing, I have a friend who faked being in college for two and a half years. He dropped out two and a half years in and pretended that he was going for another two and a half. He lied to all of his parents, friends and girlfriends the entire time. He even went to graduation and had his parents throw him a graduation party and they bought him an SUV as a present. All of his friends figured it out in the first year or so, so there was this huge elephant in the room for the rest of college. It was awkward.



was it clown college?

Margot_Dent

Margot_Dent

Los Angeles, CA
February 2004

MAY 25, 2007 08:28 AM

Drago said:
Eight months is nothing, I have a friend who faked being in college for two and a half years. He dropped out two and a half years in and pretended that he was going for another two and a half. He lied to all of his parents, friends and girlfriends the entire time. He even went to graduation and had his parents throw him a graduation party and they bought him an SUV as a present. All of his friends figured it out in the first year or so, so there was this huge elephant in the room for the rest of college. It was awkward.



your friend's kind of a dick.

dave_sector

dave_sector

United Kingdom
July 2003

MAY 25, 2007 09:45 AM

private_grave said:
..pfff...
lectures should be open to the public,
but a teacher look at your papers should cost money.



you are so right. if someone wants to learn, they should be allowed.

LowKey13

LowKey13

Manchester, CT
October 2003

MAY 25, 2007 10:26 AM

First rule of grifting: The bigger the lies, the more likely people are to believe. They just cant believe someone would tell such an implausible story.
I refer you to the story ot Count Victor Lustwig and how he sold the Eiffel Tower as scrap metal.
Twice.

Second rule: If you act like you belong somewhere, people wont question it. A slight bluster and a confident demeanor are all the disguise someone really needs to wander unfettered by most 'security'.

RileyStClair

RileyStClair

Los Angeles, CA
September 2006

MAY 25, 2007 11:16 AM

ahahaha's that's great!
i mean, aside from the fact that she could have been dangerous, yadda yadda (although clearly enrolled university students aren't exactly harlmess), it's pretty awesome that she got away with it for that long.

but yeah, i went to undergrad with like 26,000 people. if someone looks about the right age and walks around on campus, no one's going to think she doesn't belong. i'm sure it's also the case at a smaller school.

Cassiel

Cassiel

Aurora, CO
September 2004

MAY 25, 2007 11:43 AM

i smell a Lifetime MOTW.

Slocum

Slocum

Dallas, TX
October 2005

MAY 25, 2007 12:13 PM

"Kids climb through windows on TV all the time, but it's pretty awkward to keep up in real life when there's a door right there."

That's like that Steven Wright joke - "I was born caesarian...I don't think it shows. Except that when I leave my house I go out the window."

Something to that effect.

Drago

Drago

Philadelphia, PA
January 2004

MAY 25, 2007 05:03 PM

Margot_Dent said:

Drago said:
Eight months is nothing, I have a friend who faked being in college for two and a half years. He dropped out two and a half years in and pretended that he was going for another two and a half. He lied to all of his parents, friends and girlfriends the entire time. He even went to graduation and had his parents throw him a graduation party and they bought him an SUV as a present. All of his friends figured it out in the first year or so, so there was this huge elephant in the room for the rest of college. It was awkward.



your friend's kind of a dick.



Yeah, I know.

GOBLAZERS

GOBLAZERS

Birmingham, AL
May 2006

MAY 26, 2007 01:47 AM

Stanford sounds like they are really on top of things. Don't you have to fill out paperwork to get assigned a dormroom with a roommate and stuff? They obviously knew she hadn't done that since they never gave her a key.

These people are in charge of a college?

PaulNikon

PaulNikon

Palm Bay, FL
February 2003

MAY 26, 2007 09:44 AM

Cassiel said:
i smell a Lifetime MOTW.



Lesbo Co-Ed and the high school virgin.

Postblank

Postblank

New Brunswick, NJ
June 2004

MAY 26, 2007 11:44 AM

Drago said:
Eight months is nothing, I have a friend who faked being in college for two and a half years. He dropped out two and a half years in and pretended that he was going for another two and a half. He lied to all of his parents, friends and girlfriends the entire time. He even went to graduation and had his parents throw him a graduation party and they bought him an SUV as a present. All of his friends figured it out in the first year or so, so there was this huge elephant in the room for the rest of college. It was awkward.



Your friend sounds like a self-entitled ass.

Subrosa

Subrosa

San Francisco, CA
July 2004

MAY 26, 2007 12:04 PM

Necia

Necia

San Francisco, CA
August 2005

MAY 26, 2007 12:10 PM

AmalgamSwitch said:
Stanford sounds like they are really on top of things. Don't you have to fill out paperwork to get assigned a dormroom with a roommate and stuff? They obviously knew she hadn't done that since they never gave her a key.

These people are in charge of a college?



Well, and I'm kind of wondering how smart Stanford kids really are if they're going to just let some chick move into their rooms without knowing enough about her to realize that she doesn't actually go to school there. That's pretty fucking clueless. Maybe that school ought to up their admissions standards a bit. tongue

Cash

Cash

USA
OLD SKOOL

MAY 26, 2007 12:58 PM

dave_sector said:

private_grave said:
..pfff...
lectures should be open to the public,
but a teacher look at your papers should cost money.



you are so right. if someone wants to learn, they should be allowed.



You do realize that everybody is welcome to use the public library, don't you? Furthermore...if you fill out the little form...you get a library card...and can take home books...for free.

There are certain costs associated with the burden of matriculation, though...costs that are not based on learning.

Learning IS free. College, however, is a privilege.

PRockGirlScout

PRockGirlScout

Portland, OR
October 2005

MAY 26, 2007 01:15 PM



That one wasn't too bright. Physics wouldn't be my first choice of a discipline to fake. surreal

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