Long Distance Relationship Advice/What would you do?

OK, I live in VA and I went to NYC a month and a half ago and met a girl. We really hit it off and we spent a few days in Manhattan together. She came here (VA) and we spent the weekend together. Everything just seemed SO right. After about a month of talking on the phone the long distance thing has taken a toll on us both. Recently she's been acting kinda sketchy and I'm kinda worried cause I'm suppose to go back up there in a few weeks to spend some time w/ her. I spent almost $400 for a plane ticket and hotel just to be with this chick. I have a feeling she's about to call things off between us. So if she does, should I still make the trip to NYC (alone) and make the best of it?

Anyone have any advice on how we can make this "Long Distance" thing work?

[Edited on Aug 03, 2003 by scatterbrain]

i have no experience in the matter, but i say long distance stuff doesnt work.
i would i have trouble with a relationship if the girl was an hour away. but thats me

Speaking from experience, if you guys really like each other, one of you should move, if it's not worth it, well that just shows you where it stands. Good Luck.

I think he's got a point. If one of you isn't willing to move then is there reallly a point in still trying to make it work!

It's really tough, I did it for 2 years. Although I can tell you that we have now been happily married for 6 years, so it definitely can work out! It really was hell though when we were apart. Good luck!

too far away. f' it. find a local significant other.

I'd be willing to move up there, but I want some time to feel the whole situation out. In fact the weekend after she came down to see me, she started asking me to move up there. It just seemed like to much to soon. We've only been around each other for a total of 6 days. I don't want to drop everything and move there only to find out she some syco or something. I figured I'd get to know her (face to face) better and take it from there.

I've been in a identical situation. In my case what it was, she found another guy. Might I suggest other activities to do while you're in town. I hear there is a shit load of neat stuff to do there.

Thanks! That gives me a ray of hope.

If a girl spent that much money just to be w/ me after knowing me for 6 days I'd be blown away. If she can't see that I'm trying my best to make things work between us then I really don't need her to begin with. I am going to confront her and see where we stand before I go. Thanks!!!

there's nothing wrong with having a girlfriend in new york. but i would get one for home too. and i would not advise moving somewhere just to be with someone else. and i would say that its a good idea to have other reasons to visit nyc, not just to see this girl. it puts too much pressure on her.

i agree with everyone that says if youre willing to move it may have a chance to blossom
i speak from experience, I had a ldr that lasted for a few months, and then he couldnt handle it and slid away, but then i met another one..and believe me it was quite a long distance... we decided that one of us needed to move and since ive always wanted to live in europe i moved..we have been together 5 years 2 as ldr and 3 living together. it actually can and does work... i mean we are happy, we have the typical relationship arguments, but we are happy. extremely. and i know other people who have had ldr that married the person and now have been with that person for more than 10 years. so sometimes it does work.


[Edited on Aug 04, 2003 by sakita]

I left my girlfriend in Boston when I moved to VA. Jason has an excelent point, why limit yourself. If you feel like she's being sketchy, chances are it won't work out anyway. You have no way to know weather or not she's keeping up her end of the relationship. In a situation like that I usually assume she's not.

My advise . . . Drop her like a ton of bricks. You're already having doubts and all that's going to do is mess with your head. If you're that imporntant to her, she'll come around. If not, I'm sure you have plenty of other things you could be worrying about.

-jaded much?-

there is a group i created where this is the topic. everyone talks about thier situations and we offer support and help to each other. it's a great place. you should join!

long distance love group

same here. we did it for two years and now we're engaged, live together, and have a baby. of course, he also cheated on me when we still lived far apart, and i still bring it up, so i wouldn't call ours the healthiest of relationships, but we're happy now. but ultimately you have to decide... though i recoomend against moving up there, like, tomorrow.

don't do it...

Hm, what would i do if I lived in VA and had a relationship with a girl in NY?

I'd call this girl.

I think it would be hard to make it work . . . generally, I would say the relationship has to be in place before the long-distance action happens. And unless both people are aware it's going to be lousy and are willing to do it anyway, unless they both really, really want it to work, then it just won't.

I've tried it and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. As for going to New York anyway, absolutely. Meet a New New York Girl!

Just say no to LDRs. More trouble than they're worth, although, if you do it right you might end up with a really good friend that you can go visit from time to time.