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subterfujion

subterfujion

I'm lost
January 2007

MAY 20, 2007 11:30 AM



EVERYONE STOP WORKING AND READ THIS!
Current mood: at peace
Category: at peace Life

Seriously!

Everybody quit their jobs right now.

I mean EVERYONE.

Every single person on the face of this planet stop working.

I don't care if you work for yourself, a company or the government.

Just stop.

Utilities... done.

Taxes... done.

Governments... done.

Military... done.

Wars... done.

Police... done.

Crime... done.

Allergen-causing chemicals... done.

Cancer-inducing agents.. done.

Pharmaceuticals... done.

Hospitals... done.

Organized religion... done.

There's no need for all of this.

What do I propose?

There is one God.

Stop fighting about it.

End racism.

We are one people.

Treat each other like you want to be treated.

Stop pollution.

We only have one Earth.

Let's chill and be right with each other.

Food grows for free... why are people starving right now?

So we can make weapons to kill each other with?

Meat is unhealthy obviously.. so stop eating it and prolong your life.

Let animals live their lives too.

We are all souls.

Fruits and vegetables are known for their healing properties anyway...

You don't really need a doctor...

Stop eating chemical components and you'll be fine.

Stop microwaving your food.

The sun comes out for free...

Why are you paying to tan?

Go outside and get off the couch!

If you're on the internet... Be productive!

What's with all this SPAM?

Stop worrying about things...

Everything will be OK!

Anxiety is proven to be bad for you anyway.

No more soda, no more cavities.

No more florescent lights, no more headaches..

No more processed and fast foods, no more fat people.

All these things are bad for you!

Cigarettes are retarded.. stop killing yourself.

Cannabis has the ability to grow vastly anywhere on the planet excluding the north and south poles.

And no proven negative effects...

EXCEPT anti-depressing and positively mood-altering benefits.

Or don't smoke, whatever..

You're free.

Hey, you can eat it if you want.

There is so much land... live and let live.

Stop destroying it! Let's beautify it!

Be creative... Be productive!

Make art and music.

Stop being destructive.

We can live in harmony easily...

Light is natural from dawn to dusk..

And more interesting..

Without lights everywhere we could see the stars at night.

Isn't fire sexier than a light bulb?

Can't you see?

Everyone just stop.

Thanks.

Repost this if you agree.

~Written by given name: Ryan Christopher Brandes~
This may be a revolution.

_DictionaryGirl_

_DictionaryGirl_

NEWSWIRE

San Diego, CA

MAY 20, 2007 11:36 AM

I hate to say it, but someone in this thread is smoking entirely too much weed. shocked

PointBlank

PointBlank

New York, NY
November 2004

MAY 20, 2007 11:46 AM

I got stoned just reading that.

unravled

unravled

Vancouver, WA
August 2003

MAY 20, 2007 11:48 AM

God damn hippies.

Uncognitive

Uncognitive

Brooklyn, NY
May 2003

MAY 20, 2007 11:50 AM

Smoke more weed, Turtle.

Seriously, smoke more weed.

mamet

mamet

Charleston, SC
March 2005

MAY 20, 2007 12:00 PM

Righteous, dude, righteous.

d_day

d_day

San Bernardino, CA
July 2002

MAY 20, 2007 12:02 PM

Subterfujion said:

What's with all this SPAM?



Oh the irony!

decedent

decedent

Boston, MA
December 2003

MAY 20, 2007 12:03 PM

fuck yeah! it's goin' down. putting in my two weeks tomorrow, for realz.

TheInsomniac

TheInsomniac

Washington, DC
October 2003

MAY 20, 2007 12:04 PM

Holy shit.

Trevallion

Trevallion

Murfreesboro, TN
February 2004

MAY 20, 2007 12:04 PM

This belongs in your myspace bulletins.

EvanX

EvanX

Grand Rapids, MI
June 2003

MAY 20, 2007 12:07 PM

You copied this from you MySpace blog, didn't you?

MrStitches

MrStitches

Sag Harbor, NY
November 2003

MAY 20, 2007 12:17 PM

Dude. . .like DUDE.
Whoa.

Shalome

Shalome

MODERATOR

Los Angeles, CA

MAY 20, 2007 12:24 PM

You first.



This reminds me of a hippie chick I knew a long time ago who stopped working and just travelled and embraced nature and preached the wonders of cannibis. In the winters during bad storms she'd show up on the porch of our house that we worked hard to pay rent for and ask if she could crash on our couch that we bought with money from working in our nice warm dry living room that was heated and lighted by utilities that we paid for.

She'd offer to trade us her crappy handmade hemp bracelets and necklaces for food and beer that we bought with money we made by working. Then she'd get drunk and stoned and lecture us about how we were "shackled to Babylon, man, you just can't see the chains" and how much nicer her living room (a muddy cold campground where it had been raining for weeks and it was too wet to light a fire) was than ours.

Then she'd ask to use our shower and washer and dryer, which we happily let her do because she stunk to high heaven.

d_day

d_day

San Bernardino, CA
July 2002

MAY 20, 2007 12:33 PM


zoom image

Cash

Cash

I'm lost
OLD SKOOL

MAY 20, 2007 12:34 PM

Subterfujion said:
You don't really need a doctor...



I know, right? What's with all of these candy-assed kids with cancer...always whining to their corporate doctors about "owww....it hurts" "Wahhh...I want to LIVE" "Wahhh....I'm only 7 and I'm scared to die!"

Then...these destructive little bastards have the NERVE to disrespect the Earth by getting Chemotherapy?!?!? HELLO!!!!! That has RADIATION in it...JERKS! Radiation is BAD!!!!!!!


Kids with cancer are such fucking assholes.

Hunkpapa

Hunkpapa

United Kingdom
June 2004

MAY 20, 2007 12:34 PM

Dude, I'm not working - I'm looking at boobs. Can I carry on?

Kes

Kes

USA
August 2006

MAY 20, 2007 12:42 PM

Subterfujion no more fat people.
.




yay! Fatties are gross!

Hunkpapa

Hunkpapa

United Kingdom
June 2004

MAY 20, 2007 12:49 PM

Someone feed the original post into a robot voice synthesizer, and it'll come out like Fitter Happier. robot

Vampirate

Vampirate

Durham, NC
October 2004

MAY 20, 2007 01:04 PM

Subterfujion said:
Utilities... done.


I live in North Carolina. I <3 A/C.

Police... done.

Crime... done.


Because, of course, the instant the police walk off their jobs, nobody in Downtown Durham is going to take advantage of the situation.

Allergen-causing chemicals... done.


I'm mainly allergic to pollen.

Cancer-inducing agents.. done.


Hi, the Sun causes cancer. I sure hope it doesn't walk off its job.

Pharmaceuticals... done.


Again, I'm pretty stoked about allergy medication. I like ibuprofen and antibiotics, too.

Hospitals... done.


K, I'll just toke up when I break my ankle.

There is one God.


I don't know if you got the memo, but this is still a rather hotly debated topic.

Food grows for free... why are people starving right now?

So we can make weapons to kill each other with?


Probably because very few people live in the middle of farms that happen to grow everything we need all mixed up together, and the people who distribute it to the rest of us have just walked off their jobs.

Meat is unhealthy obviously.. so stop eating it and prolong your life.


That's why we have canine teeth: because in the wild we're totally better at surviving eating just roots and berries.

Fruits and vegetables are known for their healing properties anyway...

You don't really need a doctor...


Okay, I'll just rub some squash on my splintered shin bone and it'll be fine.

Stop eating chemical components and you'll be fine.


Water is a chemical. So are Oxygen and Nitrogen and other things in the air you breathe. Oh, hey, wait a minute, everything that's made up of atoms is a chemical. A man can not live on neutrinos alone.

Stop microwaving your food.


Why?

The sun comes out for free...

Why are you paying to tan?

Go outside and get off the couch!


While I'm not big on "tanning" as an activity, you have clearly never lived in Seattle.

If you're on the internet... Be productive!

What's with all this SPAM?


Irony!

Cannabis has the ability to grow vastly anywhere on the planet excluding the north and south poles.

And no proven negative effects...

EXCEPT anti-depressing and positively mood-altering benefits.


Of course, we are totally not shocked to arrive at the crux of your message. Also, making fun of you started to get boring.

Anyway, verdict: you're an idiot.

Furthermore, you're doing nothing but reinforcing negative stereotypes and hindering the legalization movement.

TAFKASP

TAFKASP

Oakland, CA
June 2003

MAY 20, 2007 01:10 PM

Gilby

Gilby

Bridgeville, PA
October 2004

MAY 20, 2007 01:12 PM

Vampirate said:

Water is a chemical. So are Oxygen and Nitrogen and other things in the air you breathe.


What you said right there reminded me of this video

"Penn And Teller Get Hippies To Sign Water Banning Petition"

Lemonkid

Lemonkid

Montreal, QC
May 2003

MAY 20, 2007 01:16 PM

Subterfujion said:
blah blah blah



Let me guess.. your parents are rich right?

Cigarette

Cigarette

Cleveland, OH
April 2004

MAY 20, 2007 01:17 PM

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '97. Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my
own meandering experience... I will dispense this advice now:

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth;
oh, nevermind, you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way
you can't grasp now, how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.
You are NOT as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real toubles in life are apt to be things that never
crossed your worried mind; the kind the blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other peoples hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you suceed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most ineresting 40 year
olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40. Maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.... Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either - your choices are half chance,
so are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can... don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it... it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance... even if you have nowhere else to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines they will only make you feel UGLY.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they might be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings; They're your best link to your past, and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, except for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but, leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths. Prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians
were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you'll have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia; dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts, and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

Cash

Cash

I'm lost
OLD SKOOL

MAY 20, 2007 01:21 PM

Gilby said:
What you said right there reminded me of this video


"Penn And Teller Get Hippies To Sign Water Banning Petition"



Man...I am SAVING that!!!!!! That's good stuff.

On a comedic note.....that video reminds of of that clip from the Man Show where Adam Corrolla & Jimmy Kimmel passed around a petition to end Women's Suffrage. I can't find that clip...but here's a similar one:

magpieboy

magpieboy

Seattle, WA
June 2004

MAY 20, 2007 01:22 PM

He said you were retarded, Cigarette. You should steal his stash.

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