This week, city officials in Dearborn, Michigan chose not to file charges against Edward Sanchez, a police officer who resigned late last year because of a drug scandal. The officer had confiscated about a quarter ounce of marijuana from a suspect in April of 2006, but instead of filing the contraband, Sanchez did the next best thing: he made brownies!

By law, Dearborn police officers are allowed to confiscate drugs from criminal suspects in the course of an investigation. However, those drugs must be properly logged and documented with the department, Celeski said.

"Failure to do so is a direct violation of our department's policy," he said. "But I think it's important for people to understand the difference between a policy violation and a criminal violation."

Under Michigan law, possession of a controlled substance, such as marijuana, is a misdemeanor punishable by up to 90 days in jail and/or a $100 fine.

Officials did not press charges because there was no evidence of drugs in the officers home. In fact, the best part of this story is how Sanchez got busted. After eating the entire batch of brownies with his wife, he became convinced that he was overdosing. So, being a smart guy, he called 911. Fortunately for lovers of comedy everywhere, 911 calls are taped. Listen as Sanchez throws away his career, claims that time is moving really slowly, and asks the operator for the Detroit Red Wings score.

The department's investigation began with a frantic 911 call from Sanchez's home in Dearborn Heights on the night of April 21, 2006, when Sanchez told an emergency dispatcher he thought he and his wife were overdosing on marijuana.

"I think we're dying," Sanchez told the dispatcher in a tape obtained by the Press & Guide under the Michigan Freedom of Information Act.

"We made brownies and I think we're dead, I really do," he continued.

Far freaking out, man.

KarmaRobot

San Diego, CA

January 2007

MAY 18, 2007 11:04 AM

Poor idiot. I can't decide if this is funny of sad...no wait, its definitely funny.

mingol

Singapore

July 2005

MAY 18, 2007 11:06 AM

Wow. "Dumb" doesn't even begin to cover it.

MessyJessy

Fort Myers, FL

August 2005

MAY 18, 2007 11:11 AM

bahahahahhahahahahahahaha fucking hillarious!!!!

Wow...that's all I can say...WOW

neverender

Pleasanton, CA

January 2003

MAY 18, 2007 11:15 AM

hahah, you have to listen to that:
http://www.pressandguide.com/audio/Campbell.wav

"time is going by really really slow"

i love the dispatch girl on the phone who sounds like she is trying to get the recipe from him.

DhD_No_Pants

Katy, TX

May 2006

MAY 18, 2007 11:26 AM

The audio file is golden.

Sean

STAFF

Los Angeles, CA

MAY 18, 2007 11:30 AM

funniest thing i have ever heard

erleichda

Germany

May 2003

MAY 18, 2007 11:37 AM

A quarter ounce is about 7 gramms, right?

Must have been one hell of a trip.

*giggles*

Bee

SUICIDEGIRL

USA

MAY 18, 2007 11:37 AM

ummm you guys? he can stillput the dogs away even tho he izZz about to die?!?!?! lol ok?

yurei

USA

June 2006

MAY 18, 2007 11:43 AM

That was hilarious, it sounded like the dispatcher wanted to laugh...

ahd

Graham, NC

January 2003

MAY 18, 2007 11:44 AM

SG is my one stop shop for old news.

/FARK ftw

DeuceLAMF

Austin, TX

April 2005

MAY 18, 2007 11:45 AM

This just in: The Berlin wall has fell!

courtneyriot

STAFF

Los Angeles, CA

MAY 18, 2007 11:46 AM

and this is why i love michigan.