NEWS: Hell Freezes Over: Westboro Baptists vs. Jerry Falwell

CULTURE: Hell Freezes Over: Westboro Baptists vs. Jerry Falwell

Ahh, the Westboro Baptist Church -- everyone's favorite chromosomally-challenged Christian group. You may know them for such chart-topping fundamentalist hits as Thank God for Dead Soldiers and the ever-poignant God Hates the World. You know, I always suspected that the Rev. Jerry Falwell kept their cacophony as a joyful little song in his pocket, merciless and close to his God-fearing heart; moreover, I suspected that the affection went both ways.

But I guess showing love for a fallen comrade is just a little too faggy for our fun-loving Westies, because they are turning everything we thought we knew on its ear: according to the schedule of events on their ever so delicately-named website, they will be picketing Falwell's funeral.

I repeat: the Westboro Baptist Church will be picketing Jerry Falwell's funeral.

"Whaaaaaaaa?" you might be saying, if you're not too busy cleaning up all the soda you may have spit out onto your computer monitor. That's what I thought, too, but then I downloaded the explanatory PDF from their site (because I guess outlining their manifestos on another HTML page is gay) and now I understand. I think. It starts out with their usual slogan, and then launches into how much god hates Falwell, Billy Graham, and Pat Robertson -- which must be pretty big news to The 700 Club. They might want to reconsider their career choices. How did this happen?

Well, I'm not necessarily going to argue with that point, but to say "it's more of a concurrence than agreement" would be the understatement of the century.

What? He sold his soul to Armenia? I didn't know they had that kind of money. In other news, "Free-Willism" is my favorite new word since "truthiness."

So now we know what the one Mortal Sin is: badmouthing the Westboro Baptist Church. Get your handbaskets ready, kids, 'cause we're all going to hell.

Man, that made me a little nauseous just to retype. See how much I love you all? I do this so that you don't have to. At least that's already the end of it. Seriously though, Falwell "warmly praises practicing fags'? For real? Are we talking about the same Falwell? Because the last I heard, he was trying to get mind-numbingly benign childrens' shows off the air on account of an upside-down triangle and a fucking purse. If that's what you call warm praise, I'd hate to see what admonition looks like.

Oh, wait: I guess it looks like ignorant people picketing funerals. Hey, I was right! I do hate to see it!

Falwell's funeral is slated for Tuesday, May 22nd. No word yet on if they're going to have to reschedule to avoid these knuckleheads. Is this what irony looks like? Perhaps. Whoever would have thought that the Fundies would turn on each other so quickly. Falwell's spinning in his grave, and it hasn't even been dug yet.

I called it!

ahahaha

You know, I have to say that is suprises me, yes, but more over for their open hostility to the Catholics in that letter.
I grew up in the Catholic Church in a region of Wisconsin were you were either Catholic (Polish, German or Irish) or Lutheran (German, Norwegian, etc). There were other churches around, a Pentecostal and so forth; but the Catholics and Lutherans were the two big groups.
Everyone kind of just got along. The only arguments between the different denominations was the good natured ethnic bickering you see all over the place there. There might be a crack pot or two who hated the other churches, but they were small in number
I guess I just assumed that this is the way it was all over the country; I especially thought the Fundementalists were all cozy in bed together anyway. Weird; nice to know that sectarian hatred is alive and well in some parts of the United States.

*rolls eyes* Leave it to the Baptists.

Wow. I am certainly not a fan of Jerry Falwell, but Fred Phelps makes him look like Mr. Rogers. Deaths come in 3's, there was Jerry, Dr. Kings daughter and I am sure there is plenty of room in the cold ground for one more, who is rounding out this trio?

The hateful versus the hateful. Maybe they'll go to blows. I hope they televise it.

Mel White's the guy who's ghostwritten for Falwell, as well as Robertson and Billy Graham. After coming out in '94, he stopped working for them, but even before he supposedly never wrote word one against homosexuality. I don't know that Falwell praised White since learning that White was gay.

And before people jump all over White, he claims to have tried to get others to come around toward a more tolerant stance on gays. He's pretty much a posterchild for how "straightening out" doesn't work: Mel White admitted to his wife that he had always been attracted to men. He embarked on a long process of attempted "cures" for his homosexuality, including psychotherapy, prayer, Electroconvulsive therapy, and exorcism. None of these techniques changed his homosexuality, and after he attempted suicide, he and Lyla agreed to an amicable divorce.

Please Please PLEASE somebody tape this and put it up on YouTube!

Come on, folks. The Westboro Baptists are the inverted hipsters of Christianity; they hate any social trend that's mainstream.

When I read that I LOL'd.

Sick. the whole situation makes me sick

Did I miss the fliers for the "World's Most Intolerant Religious Faction???

Why am I not surprised?

Here's hoping ole' Freddy kicks the bucket, so everyone can picket his funeral and make his inbred followers know good turnaround when they see it.

-TM

Religion just gets stupider and stupiderer and stupidererer

Seems they are one misunderstood joke away from strapping on bombs.

I can only imagine the size that the crowd will be.

You are the Prophet!

"Free-Willism"? Really? With "irrefragable" staring you right in the face?

+1

Ah, Irony.

I still can't believe this one, and yet I can.

And in closing? Irrefragable. What the fuck does that word mean?

The whole thing just seems surreal to me. Obviously we need to nuke the whole funeral from orbit. Only way to be sure, etc.

I'm guessing "Arminianism" is an error for "Arianism"...? Is "irrefragable" supposed to be "irrefutable"?
That must have overtaxed the one brain cell this group shares amongst themselves...

I refuse to dignify the Westboro cult with the word Church - or even Baptist...
And to whoever called them "Westies": my dog is a West Highland Terrier - please refrain from insulting his breed in that manner. Thank you.

Irrefragable is apparently a synonym for irrefutable, from derived from the negative form of Latin refragari, or to oppose.

It was extremely close to being my new favorite word, until I found out it was real.

Ah, what a wonderful way to commemorate the 50th anniversary of Senator Joe McCarthey's death. And I thought the universe had no sense of humor.

Free-Willism? Is Wil Wheaton being oppressed? Or is it another one of those goddamn whales?

If more people listened to Slayer it would save the world a lot of fuss.


"God Hates Us All"