NEWS: The Five-Second Rule is Bullshit

Whenever someone would say that in school, i would always respond with "God made cancer too!" I was a dark, dark child.

Man, all this talk of god and mud is reminding me of the Boknonist death ritual at the end of Cat's Cradle which is reminding me about Kurt Vonnegut's recent passing.

5 seconds or not, that's just GROSS! Plus that's what I have my dog for.

I'm more a 3 second rule guy.

What is that yellow thing on the linolium at the start of your article?

I thought it was a mango ... but I'm not sure now.

I can't deal wih all the lies! Next thing you know, people will be trying to tell that Santa, the Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy don't exist.
It's all a conspiracy I tell you. Just like the Bush Administrations scientists saying that global warming doesn't exist.
I'm still going by the five second rule, so fuck these so called "scientific studies" and the "scientists" who do them.

Salmonella broth...

I'm remind of Bill Murray eating the egg that fell out of the monkey's mouth in Osmosis Jones

I once watched a guy get on his hands and knees to suck spilled vodka out of a Travelodge carpet once. He was very drunk though. And a drummer...

I have had far worse things in my mouth than food that was dropped for five seconds.

Well, i mean who goes by the 5 sec rule when it is hairy carpet or a greasy floor?

But I am really wondering abt how this fits with the whole Hygiene hypothesis

abt food allergies -- as in the belief that the epidemic of food allerges is due to our lack of real germs for our immune system to attack.. our antibacterial soaps, our lack of rolling in the muck and letting our children do the same, not to mention the sterile dwellings where windows don;t open...

um, so in short, if we all eat that shit off the floor, can we reverse this trend?

I always thought the 5 second rule only applied when camping. You know, when the food falls onto good clean dirt.

Exactly what I was thinking. Although, I know as a little kid, when I first learned about microbes, it was blatantly obvious that if you drop food on the floor and there are microorganisms there, they will now be on your food. You just tdroppedthe shitright on them If someone throws a piano out the window and I'm under it, I will be, shall we say, juxtaposed with the piano. Same sort of concept, only I wouldn't eat the piano, although I might in a decidedly non-metaphysical way, become one with it.

Which reminds me. A guru walks up to a hot dog stand and says:

Yes.

The upshot is that your baby should be racing your dog for fallen scraps. It's the only way to keep him healthy.

I think my mom has a picture of me sharing my chicken drumstick with the dog.

That's why you don't have any allergies. amirite??

Fortunately for us here at SG, you're now a veritable beacon of joy and hope!

No, I'm not about to hit you up for a favour. Just in a good mood.

And THAT (which is a great sample of Kurt's wrting) reminded me of this by Douglass Adams:

"Not only is <The Hitchhiker's guide To The Galaxy> a wholly remarkable book, it is also a highly successful one - more popular than the Celestial Home Care Omnibus, better selling than Fifty More Things to do in Zero Gravity, and more controversial than Oolon Colluphid's trilogy of philosophical blockbusters Where God Went Wrong, Some More of God's Greatest Mistakes and Who is this God Person Anyway?"

There was a Married . . . With Children episode where Peg won a week of having The Healthiest Man In Chicago live with the Bundys as Peg's personal trainer. Heaping loads of cigs and bonbons later, he dies.

At the end, Al pays homage to the cockroach, saying something to the effect of "it's been here millions of years longer than us and will be here long after we're gone. And why? Because it eats CRAP!"

The episode was dedicated to "Our Brother, the cockroach. May he show us the way." My wording may not be verbatim. I saw the episode in the 80s, but that's close.

Wow. Somebody on a list-serve I'm on coincidentally posted a link to a CNN.com article on the topic. Apparently there's a freegan manifesto and everything.

Damn. I've got it all wrong with the eating of clean food and watching only PBS~!

well, and soft porn...

So, it's like a free range vegan?

I find free range vegans SO much tastier than the ones they raise in the little stacked boxes.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

"Mmm . . . Free Range Vegans"