Are you sure you want to go on? Are you sure? OK, then. Dont say I didnt warn you.

OK, Ill admit. I dont like bugs. Its not that I have a problem with them in general. Ill squish a spider in the corner or clean up an ant trial without a problem. But, for whatever reason, I cant stand the thought of bugs crawling on me when I sleep. For example, I practically tore my mattress apart after reading this article a few weeks back about the bedbug comeback across the country.

Bedbugs have been found in moving vans, public transit seat cushions, airplanes, college dorms and even a Bay Area meditation retreat. They spread by hitching a ride on your clothes or in your luggage and crawling off to infest your home or apartment building.

Nearly 300 bedbug infestations were reported to San Francisco health officials in 2006, more than double the number in 2004. Most of the cases involved travelers discovering bedbugs in upscale hotels.

The size and shape of a lentil, bedbugs lay eggs during the day and hide in your bed, clothing and light sockets. At night, they suck your blood, leaving itchy bumps on your skin and little bloody excretions on your sheets. They don't pass diseases, but they are incredibly difficult to exterminate, even following their blood hosts who move to new apartments trying to get away.

Gah. It makes my skin crawl just thinking about little bugs feeding on me while I sleep at night. Plus, Im kind of neurotic so for the next week every little zit or ingrown hair was a bedbug infestation. Eventually I calmed down, but it took a great deal of booze and a shot of NyQuil or two to get me to sleep for that first couple of days. Hey, I never said I didn't have issues.

Which is why I fucking hate the fact that I just read this article. Good fucking lord.

What began as a faint popping in a 9-year-old boy's ear "like Rice Krispies" ended up as an earache, and the doctor's diagnosis was that a pair of spiders made a home in the ear.

"They were walking on my eardrums," Jesse Courtney said.

One of the spiders was still alive after the doctor flushed the fourth-grader's left ear canal. His mother, Diane Courtney, said her son insisted he kept hearing a faint popping in his ear "like Rice Krispies."

Dr. David Irvine said it looked like the boy had something in his ear when he examined him.

When he irrigated the ear, the first spider came out, dead. The other spider took a second dousing before it emerged, still alive. Both were about the size of a pencil eraser.

Fucking spiders. In his fucking ear. Two of them! Great. Its like the news is trying to make sure I have a nervous breakdown before the month is over.

One things for sure, little Jesse Courtney handled the situation a lot better than I would have. Im pretty sure I would have just gone ahead and shot myself in the face.

Jesse was given the spiders now both dead as a souvenir. He has taken them to school and his mother has taken them to work.

Valeyard

Shreveport, LA

January 2005

MAY 06, 2007 07:15 PM

...that's fucking disgusting!

Girthy

Canoga Park, CA

July 2005

MAY 06, 2007 07:22 PM

I had a bug in my ear once.

It fuckin' sucked.

catdad

Portland, OR

August 2002

MAY 06, 2007 07:22 PM

It's still better than a vampire or zombie infestation. Count your blessings.

skanthony

USA

September 2006

MAY 06, 2007 07:29 PM

Im in bed right now. I think im going to go sleep in the bathtub....with the shower running....and ear and nose plugs in....oh god.

StarBelliedBoy

Philadelphia, PA

December 2003

MAY 06, 2007 07:30 PM

OH MY GOD. I'm freaking out!

Oz_the_Vamp

Lorain, OH

June 2005

MAY 06, 2007 07:30 PM

The average person eats 3 to 4 spiders every year...

SPOILERS! (Click to view)