NEWS: Quentin Tarantino was a Chinese, Japanese, Black Slave

CELEB: Quentin Tarantino was a Chinese, Japanese, Black Slave

Quentin Tarantino has plans to remake the 1977 mini-series Roots, casting himself in the role of Kunta Kinte/Toby Reynolds, originally played by LeVar Burton. Unfortunately I cannot link to the press release announcing this project, as it has not yet been written in your space-time continuum. You see, I am writing this from the future--the 37th Century, to be exact. My name is Luanda-P238 and I live in the city of Bananistan, on the fair Planet Bananamede. All of our energy needs are met through the use of an advanced bio-diesel derived from Bananameat, but that is beside the point--a post for another time, perhaps the 29th Century, as it were.

Today I am writing to share the news that Quentin Tarantino has lived before--many times, actually. He's lived since, too, but we'll get to that. Mr. Tarantino, whom you know as an American film director, actor, and Academy Award-winning screenwriter, has discovered and revealed what we citizens of Bananistan take for granted: past and future lives.

In addition to his previous three lives of American slavery, which will serve as the palette for interpreting Roots, Mr. Tarantino has lived as a Slovakian hostel owner, a female flight attendant who gets caught smuggling her boss' gun money on the airline she's employed by, an aging boxer who is paid to lose a fight, and a llama named Dolly.

Future lives will include an ex-Federale, a rapist, and a turtle named Harry.

Tarantino credits Uma Thurman and her father Buddha Bob with the realization of his past lives.

SuicideGirls asked their own resident Buddhist monk, Brad Warner, for his thoughts on the matter.

"Sounds dippy to me," Warner said.

You guys still have bananas? We're kind of expecting them to be extinct in a few years since our thoughtless farmer methods have the left the plant sterile and with very little genetic variation, leaving it severely prone to blight. It's nice to know the banana survives.

What the..

weed's a helluva drug

Yes, we found a way to split the Bananagene, enabling them to autofertilize. We call this method the Banana Split.

[CONFUSED]
?
[/CONFUSED]

what in the world
*slowly places the bong back in the closet*
no more weed for me..ill just re-read the article.

My cat's breath smells like cat food.

I was an underaged Thai ladyboy prostitute in a past life.

wakey wakey

My friend literally IM'd this link to me as I was watching the Muppets clip above.

What are the chances?

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1757262

Last week does not count as a past life.

what a coincidence! i'm an underaged thai ladyboy prostitute in my free time.

I felt like I was reading the introduction to Galapagos.

i'm an overaged thai ladyboy prostitute in my current life

Is Bananamede set for some sort of bureaucratic demolition?

In a past life, I was still an asshole.

Afghanistan Bananistan.

did someone say

banana stand??

BANANAMEAT IS PEOPLE!!!! IT'S PEOPLLLLLLEEEEEE!!!

Buh.... banana.... bananaaaa....

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

....phone?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

*cries*

That sounded strangely like Kurt Vonnegut book

Points for citing Plutonium 238.

_DictionaryGirl_ said:

yourfashionwar said:

bucolic said:
Afghanistan Bananistan.

did someone say

banana stand??

Buh.... banana.... bananaaaa....

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

....phone?

Phenomena?