my name is portia and I'm an alcoholic

i know this guy- about 50 or so, he used to be a lawyer. now he's a career alcoholic. he looks 80. he is perpetually green. he has a $2000/month bar tab. he drinks only well bourbon. a fellow bartender went over to his house the other day because he hadn't been in. yes, he was that concerned. this guy is never not at the bar. when they broke down his door, he was half-dead. they took him to the hospital. liver failure. he might be dead now, i haven't heard...
that, my friends, is alcoholism in its later stages.

With my job, I see the worst of human nature. I deal with drug dealers, child molesters, wife beaters, and everything in between. There have been days that I wanted to crawl into a bottle and forget the shit that I have seen because of my job. If that was not enough, I have my own personal non-alcoholic demons that I have to deal with. Also, my dad's side of the family has an extensive history of alcoholism. So, I have to excerise a great deal of caution when I go out drinking. Portia, I feel your pain; it is my own as well.

Hmmmm...I guess I wasn't being very clear. I actually agree with you; I think alcoholism can be passed down, or more specifically, a predisposition towards substance abuse (that's what I meant with the family tree thing). I really believe that it's a brain chemistry thing, and it's all self-medication.

I had one!!! But it killed my glabladder and I'm not aloud to drink. Doctors orders! I still do drink just not nearly as much!

i'm in that grey area.
i drink lot's of beer but rarely, and i'm talking less than five times a year, i reach the level you would call drunk.
on the other hand, i drink one to three beers/glassed of red wine on a semi-nightly basis. sometimes i run out and that's fine. sometimes i'll go three or four days without a drop.
i really don't know what this makes me.
that's my story.
oh, and i don't do hard alcohol either.
ewwwww.

jesse