Goth, old fogey's and such...

Is it maybe that I've just been out of the "scene" for so long? Or is it just a phase you go through when you hit 32 (still can't believe it)?

I'll put this out there: I love tattoos, love goth/punk girls (tats, piercings, wild hair, etc.), love the alternative scene...yet I've never been a major player in it since I really don't fit the profile. Sure I have tattoos and enjoy all the wild music but is that enough? I don't drink as much as I did in my Corps days, don't smoke and don't touch drugs (not saying it's wrong to do so either, it's just not something for me). Nor am I saying that to be in that "culture" you have to do all those things either. *insert foot in mouth*

I'm just wondering: is it odd for those over 30 to love the underground culture? If you hit a certain "age" (mentally or physically) are you required to "grow out of it"? I mean, I'll see these gorgeous, tattoed, pierced girls come in my store. I'll say, "Nice tattoo." and honestly mean it yet I'll get this look like I'M the weirdo or that I'm automatically trying to hit on them because I'm old and have a wedding ring on my finger.

Perhaps I'm rambling here. I'm not quite sure that I've put my finger on what I'm trying to say, either, but I thought I'd put it out there and see what comes of it.

I'm thirty-eight, no I can't believe it and can relate to what your saying. I'd like to think it is more about attitude than age but we are an age driven culture. Youth sells but till I'm crapping my diaper in an old folks home I'll enjoy my preferences whatever they may be. Look at me like a dirty old fuck but I love freedom of expression, yours, thiers and mine. I couldn't give a shit in my diaper about age!

Well I'm sure that some people "grow out" of it... or start to fit in with another scen, change their values, or whatever, but I don't think it's an age thing. It's certainly not "required" to grow out of it. There isn't a goth police that says "sorry, you're now 45, you can't be gothy anymore. Please leave your dog collar at the door."

If someone gives you a wierd reaction when you comment on their tatooes or whatever, don't let that bog you down. Some people are just dumbasses. l'm sure that a lot of the mall-punks think that everyone that's the age of their parents must be a stuck-up, hard headed, well... "uncool parent-type." In that case ignorance is bliss.

A few years ago, I was at a club I used to see punk shows at when I was in high school. I was standing against the back wall, beer in my hand, just watching the show and appreciating all the kids there. The kids with with their multicolored hair multiple facial piercings and punk-as-fuck attitudes and all, jumping around like idiots and having the time of their lives. Just like I used to be.

Then I realized what I looked like to those kids -- because when I was one of those kids, we made fun of the "old ones" who always stood at the back and drank their beers. When I was 15, we made fun of those people who were "too old" for the pit and who obviously didn't appreciate the music like we did. We thought we were infinately cooler than them, and that they were just trying to fit in with us. They looked so... normal. How could they possibly understand what we were all about?



It's just the way it goes sometimes.

Now, I know that you don't have to "grow out of" the piercings and haircolor and fun clothing -- I don't recommend that anyone should have to give that up!. But, in order to get a job I wanted, I had to. I still dress like my old self on the weekends, but out of necessity my hair is a natural color in a pretty standard haircut.

Sorry about the editorial-length post.. just something I've been thinking about lately.

Exactly... do what you like, be who you are... if that means you are into goth stuff, who cares if you are 18 or 80?

However, it is ironic that people who are supposedly attracted to an alternative, more accepting lifestyle are often some of the least open and accepting people I've met. C'est la vie... asshole know no fashion limits.

Yep. Most of the mall-punks I come in contact with these days pride themselves in being all open-minded because of their ideals and what they stand for. It seems like they're so open-minded that half their brains leaked out. But then again, there's a lot of cool people out there too.

No no, I know exactly what you mean. I'm pushing 44 and I love the culture. Maybe one develops a certain aesthetic at a certain early age, and tends to stick with it as time goes on, no matter what. Or of course, one might just become interested in new things, looking to broaden one's horizons or whatever. I know in my case, as long as it's not mainstream and contains a certain amount of off-beat wit, creativity and intelligence, I'm interested. That's why I'm here at SG, right?

OMG YOU SOUND LIKE MY PARENTS! HAHAHAH! YOU'RE SO LAME YOU MUST BE OLD!

(kiddin'. )


[Edited on Jun 23, 2003 by Shalome]

Don't get me wrong, I've no intention of growing out of it. Like Shalome said, when that job comes along that you want sometimes you have to conform. I've always had the attitude that I really don't care what people think of what I do/dress. When I had my first tattoo I vowed to never regret it and never let it change what I want to do. I've turned down several lucrative jobs because they required that I, even in the middle of summer, wear long sleeve shirts to cover up my tattoos. That'll never happen. I am fortunat enough now to have a job that doesn't care about tattoos although odd hair colors are out.

I really like Shalome's description of visiting the ol' punk bar. I've done that. It's an odd thing to now BE the old guys in the back sitting on the stools while the pit thrives. I can still get in the pit when I need to vent but it's not the same anymore. Such is life, I suppose.

how old is robert smith?

Yea well my parents say I'm cool.

Is that the same as them saying, "He's a special boy"

j/k

I've blown straight past special...

lol good thing they've got that emergency door in the back of the little bus, eh?

That's the pink short bus for me

As far back as I can remember I have always been
the "creepy death kid". Always scaring the other kids and wearing black. This year I'll be 35. That puts my
teenage years COMPLETELY in the 80'S. I got my first
set of spikes in a Harley shop in Myrtle Beach the
summer before 8th grade. I am proud to be one of the
true 80's NEWWAVE/PUNKROCK/GOTHICS. Back then
I listened to Bauhaus and Siouxie, now I STILL DO!!!!
I let the new come along, but never forget where it all
began. For some, it IS just a phase. For others....
we know no other way to be.

desidia said:
how old is robert smith?

His birthdate is April 21, 1959. Dear God, he's older than me!!!

If it's any consolation, I get the same sorts of looks for being 6'6' blegh. Height is suck,

Ageists are everywhere. You're too old, you're too young...they need to worry more about themselves than you and how old you are. The same group that dismisses someone my age for being too young to know anything or be skilled enough is the same group that dissmises you because you look old enough to be their parents. It's a short sighted way of thinking, and we'd be better off without it. Your beliefs and the way that you express them should be what matters.

Personally, I get along with people of all ages and I think I'm better for it. Why shun experience or age, either one? There's no reason to. And I hope that when I am 30, 40, that I'm still wearing my baggy pants and going to old haunts.

i saw the dayglo abortions play this weekend and it was the truest 'punk' show i've seen in a long, long while.

these boys are pushing 40 and still shitkick any act on the road.

was nice to have my faith renewed again.

There's no better bull detector than when people look at you funny cos they weren't expecting you to do or say something.

The number of people who'll take you for what you are is really small, but I'd rather have one friend out of the remainder than 100 people who'll sell you out because you cross one of their mental boundaries.

This isn't Logan's Run...

Be what you are, don't apologise.

Edited for spelling that really didn't work.

[Edited on Jun 24, 2003 by fpkk]

In order for a particular group of people to be a true culture and not just a popular culture or a counter (popular) culture, it has to appeal to more than just teenage hormones. If, with the wisdom of years, members outgrow the "culture", then whatever that particular group of people had to say couldn't've been very important anyway. Just my opinion.

well I'm still acting the part of an overpaid 18 year old despite being long past that point... I think if you do grow out of it you probably weren't really into it in the first place....

this isn't exactly about age, but more about whether people belong places or not. at this club i go to sometimes people are mostly young and goth. i think you have to be at least 21 to get in. sometimes there are older people there who definitely look like they are in the fetish scene. sometimes there are people there who don't obviously look like they are into goth or fetish stuff. last time i went there was this older gay couple who looked very normal. but they danced like they belonged, they sat there like they belonged.

what gets me is the people who look normal, who come in drunk to make fun of the freaks. it doesn't really matter how old they are, you can just tell that the only reason they're there is to have a good laugh. they get out on the dance floor in a clump, drinks in hand, and every now and then one will break away to stumble through a parody of the dance most people at the club do. then they'll all laugh. irritates the hell out of me. it's one of the reasons i don't really like going there too much anymore. that and they've been playing shitty music lately.

anyway, to me at least, it doesn't matter how old you are or how you're dressed, as long as you're not there to be mean. i don't think you can ever be too old for that kind of stuff.

I just don't fit in with people my age, and seldom have. When I was a kid, I hung around adults more. They were serious about the world; I was serious about it too. And now that I'm an adult, I tend to hang out (to the extent I hang out at all) with younger people, usually odd ones who are at the fringes one way or another.

It's as if I've come out the other side of whatever the seriousness was, and now am more ready to have fun. But the older people around me are busy making payments on things they have bought, preparing to die ... which will only be a formality when it happens.

I've known a few older people who feel this way, too, so that's lucky.