The World's Shittiest Superpowers

WARNING: this is a completely pointless thread. Thank you.

Okay; because I'm a huge dork, I often give things thought that no rational person should ever give thought to.

One such topics is the idea of really lame superpowers.

And aearlier topic reminded me of some of them. Amd I'm, bored. So, I've compiled a list of the bottom-of-the-barrell super abilities people could ever get stuck with. I would like to hear your ideas, though.

So here are some of mine:


-Heightened Sense of your Own Mortality
-Power to turn your inner organs invisible.
-Ability to Predict the Past.
-Industructible Hymen
-The ability to work well with others.
-The Proprotinal Strength and Speed of Stephen Hawkins.
-Razor-sharp eyelashes
-Super Albinoism

Telepathy, but only with fish.
How about the power to open unlocked doors!

NICE!!!

Keep 'em comin'!!!!

• the ability to be instantly hairless
• eye color changing on command
• the power to make any phone ring

fun!

how about x-ray vision, but you only have the ability in pitch black.

The power to fall asleep whenever I want to...

The power to lift somene over my head but only under water...

The power to piss the night away..

The power to dodge nerf guns infallibly.

NOTE TO SELF: Must buy skin bleach and pink eye contacts as soon as humanly possible...

Hey!!! I have that power!

Look out, world! Here comes Captain Wastes-His-Life!!!

as a little tyke i would get deja vu all the time and not know what it was. i was afraid to tell anyone about it. i thought i had a special useless ability to post-dict the past, or something like that. "what a rip-off!!!"

the ability to see through glass

captain eraserthumb

the incredible hairdo

the six dollar man

I am SOOO making this a comic book!!!!

Hey! That reminds me! My favorite shitty superpower of all time:


- Shrinking Genitals.

Oh, big deal- that's not a superpower. I did that this morning in the bath.

Hahahaha!!!

I can see the comic book cover now; "The Inadequate Mister Satan" emblazoned on the top, and a drawing of you wearing a bath tub on suspenders, sreaming your patented hero catchprase; "SHRINKAGE!!!"

Whoa... how about the ability to do lists in your SG posts?

Comic book cover? Shit, man- I was doin' that at the local Wal-Mart last week!

Imagine, if you will, this snippet from X3:

I think I have a crush on Mister Satan. Does that make me gay?

actually i wish i had the power to make MY phone ring.
fuck i'm a loser lately...

In a word- gay.

Fart on command.

Projectile vomit defense.

Longest diarrhea stream.

The ability to turn a dollar into four quarters.