Shittalk/Pooptalk

I am partial to the morning poo myself. I like to get my business done though, I am a fast shitter I have to much to do, don't have time to read a book while I take a poo. I have a routine damn it! Wake up, take morning poo, drink coffee, go for morning walk....blah blah blah. Life is grand!

One minute?! Cripes! It’s not a race. Personally, I take the opportunity to slow down, and enjoy myself.

Dunno, I usually go in there, poop, wipe, wash up, done. I doubt it takes more than a minute or so. Not that I'm in a hurry or anything, I just don't like wasting time on the shitter that's all. If I want to read, I'd rather do it on the couch.

I dozed off on the toilet once, ok maybe a couple of times.

Passed out droppin' the kids off once. Not really sleep, but...

I feel this topic wouldn't be complete if a guy didn't bring up the magical four S rules of the bathroom. Of course we all know this to be shit, shave, shower, and spank. This is something that I try to do at least 2-3 times a week. It's a great way to start your day off... and it'll keep you loose and relaxed the whole day through

[Edited on Jun 20, 2003 by Dal]

I prefer to shower, shave, spank, shit. If you shit first and it's a stinker, then now you've got to shower, shave, and spank in the stench.

For hygenic sake... I shit first... it's always best to wipe and then shower ya know

[Edited on Jun 20, 2003 by Dal]

I am learning so much today

Nah, see.. I've tried that. It doesn't give a good shave. Now butter, that's where it's at. If you're feeling kinky, you can use it as lube first.
I like singing (yes I suck) during the showering part.

No way... when in a bind it's all about Peanut Butter. By far the best alternative for shaving cream!!!

Chunky or smooth?

That depends... do you like nick's or gashes?

*sigh* Nala...my favorite fecalpheliac...i love that woman

like clockwork yo...first thing in the morning at like 630 (this one's always a freakin redwood tree...like a 15 minuter, hardly even need to wipe)...then at around 10 (another redwood, only like a 5 minuter though)...and then when i get home from work at around 430 (these just slip right out, under a minute easy)....sometimes there's a 4th one in there depending on the previous evenings caloric intake....as far as habits during the whole process, i really have to focus on the turd...so no reading or anything like that....

now if you'll excuse me.....i gotta go set loose the corn-backed rattler!!!!

Well I don't like to mar up my beautiful face
Also would raise objections to using chunky as lube beforehand. But that's just me.

HOLY CRAP *both literally and figuratively*!!! How much fiber are you eating a day my friend? Thats just impressive

Yeah... just the thought of getting chunks in the pee hole is enough to turn me off from that idea

hmmm.. I'll have to try the smooth peanut butter thing.

I heard that there is a reason why your poop would float or sink. Anybody know about that? I can't remember if floating turds mean you are healthy or unhealthy, or if that is just a silly rumor.