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HonkeyKong

HonkeyKong

Bridgeport, CT
March 2003

MAY 30, 2003 05:27 PM

-mama says sharks are ornery 'cause they got all them teeth and no toothbrush.

Squid_Vicious

Squid_Vicious

Bermuda
September 2002

MAY 30, 2003 05:37 PM

Sharks are fucking assholes, you say? Who's assholes are they fucking? Ain't no shark fucking my asshole. No siree. I don't swing that way man.

Squid_Vicious

Squid_Vicious

Bermuda
September 2002

MAY 30, 2003 05:39 PM

Oh yeah... one more thing:

Fuck sharks. It's all about Colossal Fucking Squid.

fiendish

fiendish

USA
December 2002

MAY 31, 2003 06:37 AM

i think we cauz far more damage than sharks confused
leave the fraggin' sharks alone beside we have "flipper" to protect us biggrin

fiendish

fiendish

USA
December 2002

MAY 31, 2003 06:43 AM

ohya i saw couple dolphins leapin and playiin in the ocean when i was out surfing biggrin

sickboy1945

sickboy1945

Richmond, VA
May 2003

JUN 07, 2003 04:26 PM

it could be worse! they could be beached and blown up like on the news with 200lbs chunks of blubber falling from the sky! shocked

Coco

Coco

SUICIDEGIRL

USA

JUN 07, 2003 04:48 PM

ava said:
*bump*....because i needed a laugh



Thanks ava! I didn't see this the first time around and I'm laughing hysterically right now. That macbastard is one funny dude.

Sarc

Sarc

Cincinnati, OH
December 2002

JUN 07, 2003 06:37 PM

"We're gonna need a bigger boat"

SoEffinHappy

SoEffinHappy

Philadelphia, PA
April 2003

JUN 07, 2003 09:02 PM

Man sharks are awesome. People should be more like sharks. If things were my way, you wouldn't go to the Wawa to get something to eat, you'd just take a chunk out of whoever you could get your teeth on. It would make people appreciate what they have and stop wasting so much damn food. Wankers.

Lenore

Lenore

SUICIDEGIRL

Oregon, USA

JUN 07, 2003 09:15 PM

macbastard said:
I mean they ruin everyones good times with there killing and frenzy's. You'd think that when a pod of whales is having a nice family reunion, that the ol' jaws gang could leave em be. But NO. First some hungry twit has to show off and then it turns into one big bloody mess.

Like really Mr. "perfect hunter of the sea", next time school is in session for a bunch of fish, show a little class and don't hand out toothy, fatal demerits.

Am I right gang!?!?


Macdeepseadiver



FUCK!!! YOU'RE MY HERO!!! I'm reading a book right now called 'Close to Shore'...it's about the shark attacks in1916. This 'rouge' shark just pissed around the east coast chewing on people around the New Jersey Shore. Back then man eating sharks were basically a myth to everyone...stupid people.
whatever

clara

clara

MODERATOR

Baltimore, MD

AUG 25, 2003 11:10 PM

LostJunkShot said:
But what's with these docile sharks? These pansy nurse sharks?



Those things actually maul people quite frequently. Useless trvia is fun. Thanks Shark Week!

atmospherik1

atmospherik1

I'm lost
April 2003

AUG 25, 2003 11:14 PM

I thought I was going to come here and read for the last post
Answer: Becuz they lurk of the Jersey shores.
Shark week is very informational. I watched the episode where the guy gets his calf torn off buy the bull shark.
That musta sucked; just a little.

Thirty

Thirty

Oman
December 2002

AUG 25, 2003 11:17 PM

Why can't we, once and for all, eliminate all animals who are scary and/or not cute?

Alia666

Alia666

Terre Haute, IN
January 2003

AUG 26, 2003 12:56 AM

If someone just swam into my watery home, I'd have a go at eating their torso, too.

They say red meat's good for the blood.

razor13

razor13

Los Angeles, CA
December 2002

AUG 26, 2003 02:02 AM

as i was playing pool at the bar tonight against my friend lee who had been almost sliced in half by a great white off of bolinas beach last year, i remembered that his cousin, who i was married to at the time, had made her plan to leave me about the same time and i accussed him of staging the attack as a destractionary act and he became upset and stripped diwn on top of the pool table to reveal all the wicked scars left from the ravaging and i yelled "its all plastic surgery for attention and helunged at me with hi pants down around his ankles and i subdued him til he calmed and his wife help him out of the bar as he sobbed on his shoulder and all eyes of the quiet bar turned to me and i said "between the sharks and his wife that guy gets a lot of love"......no shark has ever cared about me enough to bite me and i am jealous, i guess....

richiedagger

richiedagger

I'm lost
July 2003

AUG 26, 2003 05:01 AM

seriously tho...im all for this whales being assholes thing. i think it was Stuff Magazine that just ran the article on it called "whales are bastards." everything they said was totally true...like this : i get screamed at by fuckin hippies on haight street if i drop a god damn candy wrapper, but did you know that a blue whale craps 2% of its body weight a day! thats 2 to 3 TONS OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!

fuck whales.

PaulSandman

PaulSandman

Cortland, NY
December 2002

OCT 02, 2003 01:06 AM

Sharks are misunderstood if not for them we'd have too many stoned out surfers.

Olivia

Olivia

Emeryville, CA
May 2002

OCT 02, 2003 01:07 AM

razor13 said:
olivia made a bolinas sticker......



is that the sticker i keep seeing on the backs of peoples cars that looks almost exactly like the SHARKS ARE FUCKING ASSHOLES graphic? when i saw it first i wondered if macbastard had made up stickers.

Mylf

mylf

Framingham, MA
April 2003

OCT 02, 2003 01:25 AM

if there are stickers floating around out there I would LOVE to get one!!

ElleBelle

ElleBelle

Portland, OR
August 2003

OCT 02, 2003 09:02 AM

Sharks freak me out d00d. I love Marine life n all- but Im not down with Sharks. n0pe!

You guys are right- Sharks are ASSHOLES!

I still get chills up and down my spine thinking about this time my daughter told me she wanted to SOMEDAY swim with sharks. *shes always saying stuff like this*
she was like 4 at the time.- It was right after she said she wanted to ride across the dessert on a camel. surreal
Edited to say I squashed the dream about the sharks! JK

[Edited on Oct 02, 2003 by ElleBelle]

cornelius

cornelius

Tempe, AZ
OLD SKOOL

OCT 02, 2003 09:12 AM

you know what would be cool? if someone invented a gun that shoots sharks... like, a gun that uses sharks for ammo! think of the carnage that could be caused if you could shoot 3000 pounds of teeth gnashing instant asshole death at your enemies in rapid fire! i feel that we, as a people, need to exploit and subjugate the shark's natural weaponry as our own.

-bobby

[Edited on Oct 02, 2003 by cornelius]

Scott

Scott

Lake George, NY
September 2002

OCT 02, 2003 09:18 AM

ElleBelle

ElleBelle

Portland, OR
August 2003

OCT 02, 2003 09:23 AM

I hate you. wink

Samebeat

Samebeat

USA
September 2003

OCT 02, 2003 10:42 AM

Avoid being attacked

Always stay in groups since sharks are more likely to attack a solitary individual.

Do not wonder too far from shore --- this isolates an individual and additionally places one far away from assistance.

Avoid being in the water during darkness or twilight hours when sharks are most active and have a competitive sensory advantage

Avoid talking shit about sharks at online forums. Sharks hold particularly nasty grudges and will get you when you eventually enter the water.

Do not enter the water if bleeding from an open wound or if menstruating --- a shark's olfactory ability is acute.

Wearing shiny jewelry is discouraged because the reflected light resembles the sheen of fish scales.

Avoid waters with known effluents or sewage and those being used by sport or commercial fisherman, especially if there are signs of bait fishes or feeding activity. Diving seabirds are good indicators of such action.

Sightings of porpoises do not indicate the absence of sharks --- both often eat the same food items.

Use extra caution when waters are murky and avoid uneven tanning and bright colored clothing --- sharks see contrast particularly well.

Refrain from excess splashing and do not allow pets in the water because of their erratic movements.

Exercise caution when occupying the area between sandbars or near steep drop-offs --- these are favorite hangouts for sharks.

Do not enter the water if sharks are known to be present and evacuate the water if sharks are seen while there.

pro_tractor

pro_tractor

Brooklyn, NY
September 2003

OCT 02, 2003 11:04 AM

Recent aticle:Apparent shark attack leaves woman dead on central California coast

The article states, "The state Fish and Game Department says the victim's wounds and other circumstances are indicative of a shark attack." So, what is "apparent" about it? Maybe it was a suicide bombing whose wounds merely resemble being chewed apart by a man-eating fish. I am sick of all this pandering to the sharks in the name of political correctness. Stop trying to coat it with sugar. When Jeffrey Dahmer chews somebody up, we Americans detail it in full accepting that one of our own ate people. There is such a double standard.

The article then goes on to say that the head of the "Fish Department" says that "the woman may have been mistaken for a seal." Oh, big f---ing deal. Blame the victim . . . and for what? Looking like a seal? C'mon now, how about the shark takes a little responsibility for this. Now it seems the journalists are trying to get into the head of the shark, asking questions about motivation. You'll head some bleeding heart liberal talking about shark movements constrained by fishing nets, how the shark is actually scared and feels like the victim, how the shark has no means to protect itself other than terror attack, etc., etc. A sad state of affairs, indeed.

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