Why are sharks such fucking assholes?

-mama says sharks are ornery 'cause they got all them teeth and no toothbrush.

Sharks are fucking assholes, you say? Who's assholes are they fucking? Ain't no shark fucking my asshole. No siree. I don't swing that way man.

Oh yeah... one more thing:

Fuck sharks. It's all about Colossal Fucking Squid.

i think we cauz far more damage than sharks
leave the fraggin' sharks alone beside we have "flipper" to protect us

ohya i saw couple dolphins leapin and playiin in the ocean when i was out surfing

it could be worse! they could be beached and blown up like on the news with 200lbs chunks of blubber falling from the sky!

"We're gonna need a bigger boat"

Man sharks are awesome. People should be more like sharks. If things were my way, you wouldn't go to the Wawa to get something to eat, you'd just take a chunk out of whoever you could get your teeth on. It would make people appreciate what they have and stop wasting so much damn food. Wankers.

I thought I was going to come here and read for the last post
Answer: Becuz they lurk of the Jersey shores.
Shark week is very informational. I watched the episode where the guy gets his calf torn off buy the bull shark.
That musta sucked; just a little.

Why can't we, once and for all, eliminate all animals who are scary and/or not cute?

If someone just swam into my watery home, I'd have a go at eating their torso, too.

They say red meat's good for the blood.

as i was playing pool at the bar tonight against my friend lee who had been almost sliced in half by a great white off of bolinas beach last year, i remembered that his cousin, who i was married to at the time, had made her plan to leave me about the same time and i accussed him of staging the attack as a destractionary act and he became upset and stripped diwn on top of the pool table to reveal all the wicked scars left from the ravaging and i yelled "its all plastic surgery for attention and helunged at me with hi pants down around his ankles and i subdued him til he calmed and his wife help him out of the bar as he sobbed on his shoulder and all eyes of the quiet bar turned to me and i said "between the sharks and his wife that guy gets a lot of love"......no shark has ever cared about me enough to bite me and i am jealous, i guess....

seriously tho...im all for this whales being assholes thing. i think it was Stuff Magazine that just ran the article on it called "whales are bastards." everything they said was totally true...like this : i get screamed at by fuckin hippies on haight street if i drop a god damn candy wrapper, but did you know that a blue whale craps 2% of its body weight a day! thats 2 to 3 TONS OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!

fuck whales.

Sharks are misunderstood if not for them we'd have too many stoned out surfers.

is that the sticker i keep seeing on the backs of peoples cars that looks almost exactly like the SHARKS ARE FUCKING ASSHOLES graphic? when i saw it first i wondered if macbastard had made up stickers.

if there are stickers floating around out there I would LOVE to get one!!

Sharks freak me out d00d. I love Marine life n all- but Im not down with Sharks. n0pe!

You guys are right- Sharks are ASSHOLES!

I still get chills up and down my spine thinking about this time my daughter told me she wanted to SOMEDAY swim with sharks. *shes always saying stuff like this*
she was like 4 at the time.- It was right after she said she wanted to ride across the dessert on a camel.
Edited to say I squashed the dream about the sharks! JK

[Edited on Oct 02, 2003 by ElleBelle]

you know what would be cool? if someone invented a gun that shoots sharks... like, a gun that uses sharks for ammo! think of the carnage that could be caused if you could shoot 3000 pounds of teeth gnashing instant asshole death at your enemies in rapid fire! i feel that we, as a people, need to exploit and subjugate the shark's natural weaponry as our own.

-bobby

[Edited on Oct 02, 2003 by cornelius]

I hate you.

Avoid being attacked

Always stay in groups since sharks are more likely to attack a solitary individual.

Do not wonder too far from shore --- this isolates an individual and additionally places one far away from assistance.

Avoid being in the water during darkness or twilight hours when sharks are most active and have a competitive sensory advantage

Avoid talking shit about sharks at online forums. Sharks hold particularly nasty grudges and will get you when you eventually enter the water.

Do not enter the water if bleeding from an open wound or if menstruating --- a shark's olfactory ability is acute.

Wearing shiny jewelry is discouraged because the reflected light resembles the sheen of fish scales.

Avoid waters with known effluents or sewage and those being used by sport or commercial fisherman, especially if there are signs of bait fishes or feeding activity. Diving seabirds are good indicators of such action.

Sightings of porpoises do not indicate the absence of sharks --- both often eat the same food items.

Use extra caution when waters are murky and avoid uneven tanning and bright colored clothing --- sharks see contrast particularly well.

Refrain from excess splashing and do not allow pets in the water because of their erratic movements.

Exercise caution when occupying the area between sandbars or near steep drop-offs --- these are favorite hangouts for sharks.

Do not enter the water if sharks are known to be present and evacuate the water if sharks are seen while there.

Recent aticle:Apparent shark attack leaves woman dead on central California coast

The article states, "The state Fish and Game Department says the victim's wounds and other circumstances are indicative of a shark attack." So, what is "apparent" about it? Maybe it was a suicide bombing whose wounds merely resemble being chewed apart by a man-eating fish. I am sick of all this pandering to the sharks in the name of political correctness. Stop trying to coat it with sugar. When Jeffrey Dahmer chews somebody up, we Americans detail it in full accepting that one of our own ate people. There is such a double standard.

The article then goes on to say that the head of the "Fish Department" says that "the woman may have been mistaken for a seal." Oh, big f---ing deal. Blame the victim . . . and for what? Looking like a seal? C'mon now, how about the shark takes a little responsibility for this. Now it seems the journalists are trying to get into the head of the shark, asking questions about motivation. You'll head some bleeding heart liberal talking about shark movements constrained by fishing nets, how the shark is actually scared and feels like the victim, how the shark has no means to protect itself other than terror attack, etc., etc. A sad state of affairs, indeed.