Why are sharks such fucking assholes?

The great thing about sharks is that you don't have to swim faster than them to get away.

You only have to swim faster than the person next to you.

ok you know Boo is popular when he starts apearing in threads he hasn't been mentioned in

that was funner the first time when i read it on a D&D shirt at a comic book only it was a dragon not a shark lmao

sharks taste good...mmmmmm

I think sharks are cool, especially Jabberjaws.

think of it this way......
if a shark came on land, people would kill it.....
and when we go in the ocean, they bite and kill us......

lesson: stay the fuck out of the ocean

we have many other places to go
the sharks only have the ocean
leave the sharks alone.

This thread is really disturbing to me. People, you cannot blame all sharks for the actions of a few. They're just like you and me. Some of my best friends are sharks.

I wouldn't want my daughter to marry one, though.

WHY ARE SHARKS FUCKING ASSHOLES?

now that would be entertainment.

sorry. its all i can think of when i read this thread.

Sharks aren't assholes, they're too stupid to be actually mean. They're just hungry. Orcas on the other hand might be as smart or smarter than us and they beat the shit out of seals all the time. Hell, orcas even kill sharks.

I hate how cool they think they are with their finger-snapping and syncronized dancing... fuckers.

Dude. I want a t-shirt.


Machahahahahahahabrillant

hey sharks gotta eat to
just not me

Oh sure I can hear it now...."Some of my best friends are sharks"...yeah, keep saying that till THEY buy a house in YOUR neighborhood and you can kiss your property values goodbye buddy....Guess who's coming to dinner?...No , more like.... GUESS WHO'S COMING TO DINNER TO EAT YOUR SILLY ASSES......

What about the fact that whales are so incredibly stupid? I mean how many times have you seen a bunch of them stranded on a beach? Jesus Christ when the water starts to get shallow turn your big ass around and go the other way! Stupid is stupid whether done by man or whale. Alright alright I cant keep up the charade, I really do feel bad for em when i see em stuck like that on tv.

i like sharks! their skin is neato, cause if you pet them one way they're soft, and if you pet them the other way, it's like sandpaper and you but your hand open.
and then they eat you.


but yeah...they're cute.

The Maldive Shark
by Herman Melville

About the Shark, phlegmatical one,
Pale sot of the Maldive sea,
The sleek little pilot-fish, azure and slim,
How alert in attendance be.
From his saw-pit of mouth, from his charnel of maw,
They have nothing of harm to dread,
But liquidly glide on his ghastly flank
Or before his Gorgonian head;
Or lurk in the port of serrated teeth
In white triple tiers of glittering gates,
And there find a haven when peril's abroad,
And asylum in jaws of the Fates!
They are friends; and friendly they guide him to prey,
Yet never partake of the treat -
Eyes and brains to the dotard lethargic and dull,
Pale ravener of horrible meat

Derek & Clive (Peter Cook & Dudley Moore)
from "Ad Nauseum"

Clive: Still, if it's an endangered species, I say f*** 'em.
Derek: Right.
Clive: I'd like to see every endangered species wiped off the f***ing face of the Earth.
Derek: Mmm.
Clive: People going...they're all moaning on - they say whales are more intelligent than human beings.
Derek: Yeah.
Clive: Are they? Do you think whales and dolphins are more intelligent than human beings?
Derek: Oh yeah.
Clive: Why?
Derek: Says so.
Clive: Yeah, but they're not. Whales are f***ing stupid. Can you mention one whale in the history of mankind that's had a record in the Top 10? Can you? Can you mention one whale who's written the equivalent of...er...Othello? Shakespeare. Health and Efficiency. They've produced nothing in the way of literature. All they've f***ing produced is a load of other whales, and all they eat is f***ing plankton. And they call them intelligent - can you imagine drifting along in the sea with your mouth open, with a lot of f***ing plankton going in?
Derek: Yeah, I can imagine that.
Clive: You'd like it, would you, just drifting around in the sea? And you can't...they're such c***s they can't even breathe underwater. They have to keep coming up the whole f***ing time and spouting. And then some c*** comes on telly and he says "Oh the whale's being wiped out by mankind. Save the f***ing whales." Well, during the war, did we notice a lot of whales rallying round and saying "Save England"? I didn't notice many down my part of the world. I didn't see whales coming up with the Union Jack saying "We'll fight the Boche". No, they're doing f*** all swimming round the f***ing sea, sucking f***ing plankton down. Call that f***ing...
Derek: The whales were all Nazis! All at the Nuremburg rallies, mate - they were all whales.
Clive: What, they were tried in the Nuremburg trial?
Derek: No, they were whales at the rallies - Hitler was talking to whales.
Clive: Well that don't make them more intelligent, 'cause Hitler lost, didn't he?

as much as i'd like to frolic in the surf one day i'm relatively convinced, due to some whacked out paranoia i have stemming from viewing jaws at a young age, that i would immediately be consumed by a ravenous killer shark......therefore me frolicking in the surf will only be a distant fantasy i have....
now pools...thats another story. i love pooltime almost as much as i love SG.

Because their #1 goalie and defenseman held out at the beginning of the year, their coach and GM got fired by the new tightwad ownership, their captain got traded and they missed the playoffs after winning their division last year?

Aaauuughhh!! Don't remind me....

No, the shark has pretty teeth dear, and he shows them, pearly white.
Just a jacknife has Macheath dear, and he keeps it way out of sight.

Big difference, see?

Yeah, I like to go play in the sea and fuck with the sharks. I have this thing called a shark rocket that I fire at them, and then they come at me and I have fun eluding them. I know this hip move, it's a thing that porpises do. I pretend I have a bottlenose and smash them in the gills. It's really quite effective.

Saying you don't like sharks is like saying you don't like ninjas or shaolin monks or any other furious death machine.

And that's just crazy talk.

"Check foh gills bebeh. Check foh gills."

*bump*....because i needed a laugh