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4/4/03

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GStrife

GStrife

Clayton, NC
January 2003

APR 01, 2003 11:05 PM

I got this from a buddy of mine...hee hee pretty damn funny and i thought some of you might get a kick out of it, especially you married folk wink

Dear Diary,

I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ so much.

And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.

And, I never figured out why men think with their head and women think with their heart.

And I never yet have figured out how the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do".


One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me". I said "WHAT??????" So she says the words that I and every husband on the planet dreads. She explains that I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman.

I'm thinking, "What was her first clue?" I finally realize that nothing was going to happen that night, so I went to sleep.

The very next day, we went shopping at a big, unnamed department store…

I walked around with her while she tried on three different very expensive outfits. She could not decide which one to take so I told her to take all three of them. She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth $200.00 a pair to which I say ok. And then we go to the jewelry dept. where she gets a pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you…she was so excited. She must have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she cared. I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet because she does not even play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I told her that it was ok.

She was almost sexually excited from all of this and you should have seen her face when she said, "I'm ready to go to the cash register".

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey I don't feel like buying all this stuff now." Her face went completely blank. I then said "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while". And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a Man".

I figure that I won't be having sex again until sometime after the spring of 2008.

Minsc_And_Boo

Minsc_And_Boo

Spencer, MA
February 2003

APR 01, 2003 11:07 PM

hey ! who told you you could post my diary here biggrin

relethed

relethed

Spokane, WA
January 2003

APR 01, 2003 11:27 PM

yes! yes! and again, YES! thank you, dear brother. biggrin

Astrokreep23

Astrokreep23

Santa Barbara, CA
February 2003

APR 01, 2003 11:33 PM

LOL oh my god that is literally the funniest shit I've ever heard in my life. I love it!

Al

Al

SUICIDEGIRL

Christmas Island

APR 01, 2003 11:46 PM

God, that was good! I love giving people their own medicine.

Didn't anyone ever tell that guy that tennis bracelets have nothing to do with tennis?

tofubot

tofubot

Las Vegas, NV
July 2002

APR 02, 2003 12:01 AM

that's so cleverly hilarious it should never be put on a sitcom

robot

MistressMissy

mistressmissy

Grand Rapids, MI
March 2003

APR 02, 2003 03:15 AM

yes seriously that SHOULD be on a sitcom. thats just hilariousity.

Skryche

skryche

New York, NY
January 2003

APR 02, 2003 09:44 AM


MrMann

MrMann

Sarasota, FL
March 2003

APR 02, 2003 10:12 AM

Gstrife you just made my day.

LizTraylor

LizTraylor

Santa Monica, CA
January 2003

APR 02, 2003 11:03 AM

Rock on thats some funny stuff hahaha

Morgan

Morgan

SUICIDEGIRL

Illinois, USA

APR 02, 2003 11:29 AM

Skryche said:



I love this.

grahf

grahf

New York, NY
September 2002

APR 02, 2003 05:26 PM

Skryche said:



Ha, sounds like Anya.

GStrife

GStrife

Clayton, NC
January 2003

APR 02, 2003 09:38 PM

lol nice comics, where are those from?

wolf12666

wolf12666

San Angelo, TX
March 2003

APR 03, 2003 06:34 AM

If you right click the image and select properties it will show you the following link for the last image:

http://chickenhead.com/stuff/comics/images/strips/6.gif

I'm trying to nav my way around the site now.

RACER_X

RACER_X

Philadelphia, PA
February 2003

APR 03, 2003 10:33 AM

GS you are wise beyond your years..trust me man that shit never changes...LOL shocked