Lifestyle

TOPICS:

Previous

PAGE: 

1 ... 

136 | 137 | 138

 ... 954

Next

Previous

PAGE: 

1 | 2

Next

B_Werner

B_Werner

Philadelphia, PA
February 2006

MAR 26, 2007 05:11 PM



It's been a disheartening week for dudes in punk bands. Fat Wreck Chords act Love Equals Death has become the center of attention for the wrong reasons after bassist and band founder Dominic Davi was charged with the alleged rape of a young woman in the Fishtown section of Philadelphia.

The woman claims that she met Davi at a club in June of 2006, left with him and was sexually assaulted behind a factory. The alleged victim then contacted Davi in January of 2007 and claims the bassist admitted to the crime via e-mail.

The woman reported the admission to Fairfax, VA police who worked in cooperation with Philadelphia police to extradite Davi from California back to Philadelphia. A warrant for Davi's arrest was issued last Thursday and he will stand trial for rape, aggravated assault and "related crimes."

Love Equals Death recently released its full length debut appropriately titled Nightmerica. Davi was also a founding member of popular pop-punk outfit Tsunami Bomb.

Gringo

Gringo

Spokane, WA
May 2006

MAR 27, 2007 01:03 AM

As much as I think rape is a disgusting crime - I would never want to just assume it happened just because someone claimed it did.

That's not to dismiss it in any way....I think any alleged crime should be investigated. I'd just like to see more evidence than someone saying it happened before having an opinion.

black_tar_heroin

black_tar_heroin

I'm lost
January 2003

MAR 27, 2007 01:14 AM

alleged is as good as guilty........ he is royally fucked either way

HorseheadFiddle

HorseheadFiddle

San Diego, CA
October 2004

MAR 27, 2007 01:22 AM

Hahhaa,
the name of the band and such.
oh my.

yetimike

yetimike

Portland, OR
October 2006

MAR 27, 2007 01:29 AM

i see a supergroup with isaac brock and art alexakis in the works!!!

Anarchie

Anarchie

SUICIDEGIRL

Vatican City

MAR 27, 2007 01:34 AM

frown

Flawedhero

Flawedhero

Suwanee, GA
October 2006

MAR 27, 2007 02:27 AM

TheGringo said:
As much as I think rape is a disgusting crime - I would never want to just assume it happened just because someone claimed it did.

That's not to dismiss it in any way....I think any alleged crime should be investigated. I'd just like to see more evidence than someone saying it happened before having an opinion.



I totally agree.

I think it sucks that, proved innocent or guilty, this will stick with him to some degree. If he is guilty, I say give him what he deserves. If not though, it's hard to repair damage to the image someone has, especially when something like alleged rape is involved.

TheFly

TheFly

Eagle Springs, NC
November 2003

MAR 27, 2007 03:19 AM

Flawedhero said:
I think it sucks that, proved innocent or guilty, this will stick with him to some degree. If he is guilty, I say give him what he deserves. If not though, it's hard to repair damage to the image someone has, especially when something like alleged rape is involved.




I find it very disheartening that a woman just accusing a man of such is enough for him to be labelled a sex offender, found innocent or guilty.

These stories have such a stigma with me since I live in NC and here day after day about the Duke Lacrosse Team Rape case. That and how all "celebrities" or rich people are involved in these cases. It comes down to being famous and thinking anything in the world belongs to you or being famous and having a bull's eye painted on your chest for false accusations.

Let justice be served, though if he's not guilty he will not see justice.

Greybeard

Greybeard

Los Angeles, CA
December 2006

MAR 27, 2007 04:08 AM

If he actually committed the rape, he's a (insert your favorite scathing pejorative here).

If he subsequently admitted it in an e-mail, either he's just plain stupid, or maybe he's genuinely remorseful, and wants to pay the price for his folly.

7 months a bit of a long time to wait before reporting it.

Morgan

Morgan

SUICIDEGIRL

Illinois, USA

MAR 27, 2007 06:19 AM

Greybeard said:7 months a bit of a long time to wait before reporting it.



Considering the denial, emotional torture, and trauma that women who are raped go through, 7 months really isn't that long a time. I'm not saying this guy is or isn't guilty, but "she waited a while to report it" is not a good argument against her.

Subrosa

Subrosa

San Francisco, CA
July 2004

MAR 27, 2007 06:44 AM

TheFly said:

Flawedhero said:
I think it sucks that, proved innocent or guilty, this will stick with him to some degree. If he is guilty, I say give him what he deserves. If not though, it's hard to repair damage to the image someone has, especially when something like alleged rape is involved.




I find it very disheartening that a woman just accusing a man of such is enough for him to be labelled a sex offender, found innocent or guilty.

These stories have such a stigma with me since I live in NC and here day after day about the Duke Lacrosse Team Rape case. That and how all "celebrities" or rich people are involved in these cases. It comes down to being famous and thinking anything in the world belongs to you or being famous and having a bull's eye painted on your chest for false accusations.

Let justice be served, though if he's not guilty he will not see justice.



I know! Those poor, poor accused rapists. When will the world ever give them a fair shake?

Acid

Acid

France
July 2005

MAR 27, 2007 07:29 AM

Subrosa said:

I know! Those poor, poor accused rapists. When will the world ever give them a fair shake?



Aren't you a lawyer ? What happened to burden of proof ? Presumption of innocence ?

Greybeard

Greybeard

Los Angeles, CA
December 2006

MAR 27, 2007 07:45 AM

Morgan said:

Greybeard said:7 months a bit of a long time to wait before reporting it.



Considering the denial, emotional torture, and trauma that women who are raped go through, 7 months really isn't that long a time. I'm not saying this guy is or isn't guilty, but "she waited a while to report it" is not a good argument against her.



Trauma and emotional torture, sure, after any crime of violence.

It's the denial that I don't understand. Righteous Rage, seeking prompt retribution for a rape, that I could understand.

Subrosa

Subrosa

San Francisco, CA
July 2004

MAR 27, 2007 07:46 AM

Acid said:

Subrosa said:

I know! Those poor, poor accused rapists. When will the world ever give them a fair shake?



Aren't you a lawyer ? What happened to burden of proof ? Presumption of innocence ?



I am. My point was not that I think he is guilty or that accused rapists should deserve any sort of extra scorn for their accusation. I just think it's funny and sickening that the story is "Guy in band accused of rape" and everyone immediately jumps to "that poor guy. It sucks to be accused of rape if you're innocent."

People's sympathies here are misplaced.

Subrosa

Subrosa

San Francisco, CA
July 2004

MAR 27, 2007 07:47 AM

Greybeard said:

Morgan said:

Greybeard said:7 months a bit of a long time to wait before reporting it.



Considering the denial, emotional torture, and trauma that women who are raped go through, 7 months really isn't that long a time. I'm not saying this guy is or isn't guilty, but "she waited a while to report it" is not a good argument against her.



Trauma and emotional torture, sure, for any crime of violence.

It's the denial that I don't understand. Righteous Rage, seeking prompt retribution, that I could understand.



Dude, don't go down this road. Just don't. If you don't understand it, then you don't understand it. Dig?

Cigarette

Cigarette

Cleveland, OH
April 2004

MAR 27, 2007 07:51 AM

The thing I find most odd is the fact that there are three news articles about musicians on the Lifestyle board.

Greybeard

Greybeard

Los Angeles, CA
December 2006

MAR 27, 2007 08:05 AM

Subrosa said:

Greybeard said:

Morgan said:

Greybeard said:7 months a bit of a long time to wait before reporting it.



Considering the denial, emotional torture, and trauma that women who are raped go through, 7 months really isn't that long a time. I'm not saying this guy is or isn't guilty, but "she waited a while to report it" is not a good argument against her.



Trauma and emotional torture, sure, for any crime of violence.

It's the denial that I don't understand. Righteous Rage, seeking prompt retribution, that I could understand.



Dude, don't go down this road. Just don't. If you don't understand it, then you don't understand it. Dig?



I wasn't exactly raped, there wasn't any penetration.

When I was in the US Army, there was a predatory homo cruising around the Battalion Area and sucking guys off in their sleep during the wee small hours of the A.M.. He got me, and I woke up just in time to see him licking his chops over me. I almost always wake up at the end of a wet dream, and I thought that's what it was until I saw him.

I understood what had happened, because there had been rumors and talk going around for about a month before.

I never reported it to the CQ or the MP's, because I could imagine the questions they would have.

"Are you sure you were asleep?"

"Are you sure you didn't enjoy it, not even just a little bit?"

"Are you sure you don't know him at all?"

I never lied to myself, pretending it hadn't happened. I just kept it to myself because I didn't want to compound the shock by dealing the the CQ and the MP's.

Plus, there was the lurking possibility that they would would take it wrong, no matter what I said, and drum me out of the the Army with an Undesirable Discharge.

And besides that, I knew they would never catch him if I did report it. I was mugged once on the same Post, and it took the MP's two hours to show up after I reported it.

Be that as it may, it was definitely sexual assault.

I've never, ever felt the least bit of shame over that. Still Angry after all these years, but never ashamed.

Subrosa

Subrosa

San Francisco, CA
July 2004

MAR 27, 2007 08:09 AM

Greybeard said:
(Difficult story)

I've never, ever felt the least bit of shame over that. Still Angry after all these years, but never ashamed.


I'm sorry you had that happen to you. I've had something similar happen to me. At times the shame is overwhelming. I don't know why we have different reactions to similar stimuli, but that's part of the human experience, no?

The point is that while you might not feel shame or guilt or fear, others do. Especially when those others are conditioned from an early age to feel that their sex is the temptress sex. That they shouldn't "lead a boy on". That they shouldn't tease or dress too provocatively, otherwise "people will get the wrong idea."

redconsensus

redconsensus

Baltimore, MD
August 2004

MAR 27, 2007 08:30 AM

Greybeard said:

Morgan said:

Greybeard said:7 months a bit of a long time to wait before reporting it.



Considering the denial, emotional torture, and trauma that women who are raped go through, 7 months really isn't that long a time. I'm not saying this guy is or isn't guilty, but "she waited a while to report it" is not a good argument against her.



Trauma and emotional torture, sure, after any crime of violence.

It's the denial that I don't understand. Righteous Rage, seeking prompt retribution for a rape, that I could understand.



I think it's pretty clear to anyone paying attention that rape has psychological reprecussions for the victim that are often qualitatively different than those experienced by victims of other violent crimes. Some women do experience righteous rage, most seem to experience denial as well. Not understanding their reaction to the experience doesn't mean that you should be dismissive of it.

RileyStClair

RileyStClair

Los Angeles, CA
September 2006

MAR 27, 2007 09:13 AM

Subrosa said:

Greybeard said:
(Difficult story)

I've never, ever felt the least bit of shame over that. Still Angry after all these years, but never ashamed.


I'm sorry you had that happen to you. I've had something similar happen to me. At times the shame is overwhelming. I don't know why we have different reactions to similar stimuli, but that's part of the human experience, no?

The point is that while you might not feel shame or guilt or fear, others do. Especially when those others are conditioned from an early age to feel that their sex is the temptress sex. That they shouldn't "lead a boy on". That they shouldn't tease or dress too provocatively, otherwise "people will get the wrong idea."



not to mention that sometimes you also just feel really stupid. like, with hindsight being 20/20 you think how could i have BEEN there, why didn't i stay home playing parcheesi instead of going out for what i thought was a completely normal evening with my friends. we all like to think of ourselves as smart, confident women who don't walk around alone in the sketchy part of town at night, wouldn't get in the car when the serial killer we just stabbed is so obviously still in the backseat, etc. but when it comes down to real life and real situations, especially when the assailant is someone we know and otherwise like, it's a whole different story.

for me personally, admitting victimization is admitting weakness and faulty judgment. it may not be rational, but it is the truth.

electrolove

electrolove

USA
December 2006

MAR 27, 2007 09:33 AM




I am. My point was not that I think he is guilty or that accused rapists should deserve any sort of extra scorn for their accusation. I just think it's funny and sickening that the story is "Guy in band accused of rape" and everyone immediately jumps to "that poor guy. It sucks to be accused of rape if you're innocent."

People's sympathies here are misplaced.


+1 million
I havent seen the same defensiveness evident here in other threads.

coleen

coleen

USA
January 2007

MAR 27, 2007 10:10 AM

I've never heard of this band either! Maybe I need to get out more, or just get television, ha.

So the alleged crime happened in June 2006 and she didn't say anything about it until January of this year? Kinda fishy...maybe she found out he was someone famous and decided to play the rape card to. I hate it when dumb women pull that shit. Gawd get a life.

But really, we don't know for sure I guess. That's sad.

Behind a factory?

coleen

coleen

USA
January 2007

MAR 27, 2007 10:11 AM

coleen

coleen

USA
January 2007

MAR 27, 2007 10:12 AM

coleen

coleen

USA
January 2007

MAR 27, 2007 10:13 AM

Morgan said:

Greybeard said:7 months a bit of a long time to wait before reporting it.



Considering the denial, emotional torture, and trauma that women who are raped go through, 7 months really isn't that long a time. I'm not saying this guy is or isn't guilty, but "she waited a while to report it" is not a good argument against her.



That is very true Morgan, I guess I never thought of that. I bet a court of law would use it against her though, if any of this is in fact true. Sad.

Previous

PAGE: 

1 | 2

Next