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3/28/07

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lint737

lint737

Hollywood, FL
July 2004

MAR 27, 2007 05:00 AM

This is a growing trend in ministries. Before at least the ministers would steal from their congregations the old fashioned way(behind their backs). Now it is a new trend to preach abundance. All the big boys are doing it ie.. Joel Osteen ect. What abundance in life did the followers of Jesus get except mostly horrible deaths. The reward is supposed to be in the spiritual kingdom not an earthly one.

mydogfarted

mydogfarted

Waldwick, NJ
June 2003

MAR 27, 2007 06:15 AM

I'd like to inform you of the formation of my delegation for the mass dispersion of the liturgy of the word of the lord. The Ministry of the Sacred Lady of the Immaculate Tattoo is now taking donations for help this poor soul expand the house of god. Please give and your soul will be free!

Greybeard

Greybeard

Los Angeles, CA
December 2006

MAR 27, 2007 07:18 AM

Oh, I almost forgot. In the Church of the Four-Sided Triangle, everyone is married to everyone else, so Fornication (sex out of wedlock) and Adultery (sex with a married person not your spouse) are rendered impossible.

Some people I used to know, Joe, Corinne, and Lonnie actually did this sometime in the mid-1970's. They got their charter from the State of Utah, walked outside and immediately excommunicated each other on the State House steps. They never printed any letterheads or credentials, let alone filed for I.R.S. Tax-exempt status, because they were too happy to get shut of the mundane, mindless, chickenshit outfit, and wanted nothing more to do with it. That means, if you do want out, your contribution is not tax-deductible.

After about a year or so, Corinne complained that she wanted a divorce, because she missed the extra fun of adultery. Joe, her husband, reminded her she had divorced everyone else when she took excommunication, so she could enjoy adultery with anyone she wanted but him, since they were still married under secular law.

That cheered her up a Lot.

Horrorflick

Horrorflick

Detroit, MI
February 2003

MAR 27, 2007 09:35 AM

Would somebody PLEASE: Tax the fucking church! (They seem so interested in the government, let 'em pay their admission price like everybody else.) TAX THEM!!!

freshprncebelair

freshprncebelair

Ellicott City, MD
June 2004

MAR 28, 2007 11:44 AM

Horrorflick said:
Would somebody PLEASE: Tax the fucking church! (They seem so interested in the government, let 'em pay their admission price like everybody else.) TAX THEM!!!



Actually, the IRS has been cracking down on this, revoking tax-exempt status of churches who are politically active. I recall a story about them sending agents who witnessed a pastor encouraging followers to vote for Bush.

JekyllAndHyde

JekyllAndHyde

Nottingham, MD
April 2005

MAR 28, 2007 12:39 PM

When the rich die, they will not have the meek's reward of Heaven, for they have had their reward already here on Earth.

Tarqu1n

Tarqu1n

Victoria, BC
February 2005

MAR 28, 2007 12:50 PM

If you want to see how it's really done, have a look at the Vatican.

Your God wants you to pay 10% of your income to run the Pope's own little country made out of marble and gold.

hellointernet

hellointernet

Saint Petersburg, FL
March 2007

MAR 28, 2007 12:56 PM

it kind of makes me sick to my stomach a little to admit it, but i think i'm with freshprnce

considering the many millions of dollars that some of these megachurches generate on an annual basis, it only makes sense that the pastors at the top of the totem pole feel they deserve crazy compensation

however in no way do i condone it. but i can see and understand the rationale behind it

like, it's really easy for a person to say, 'it's shameful that an actor could make $20M just for standing in front of a camera and playing pretend', but if i'm leonardo dicaprio, and i starred in a film that grossed over a billion dollars worldwide, you better damn well believe i'd feel entitled to an 8 figure paycheck

freshprncebelair

freshprncebelair

Ellicott City, MD
June 2004

MAR 28, 2007 01:27 PM

mamet said:

TheGringo said:

mamet said:

freshprncebelair said:
And when you think about it, if the priest brings a few thousand followers who tithe, at 40k a year (national average)



The average person tithes $40k a year?.


I believe he meant $40k was an estimated average salary....so it would be roughly 10% of that which would be $4k per follower/household.

I wasn't going to comment on his other thoughts because it's essentially futile.



Right, yeah, that makes a lot more sense.



Also, looking at the article, it says that the congregation had 10k followers, but they started to dwindle, and this new pastor recovered the loss.

So say that the Pastor brought back 2000 of the congregation. At 4k a year, the priest brought back 8 million dollars in revenue to the church. It would make sense to try to keep that kind of talent

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