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_DictionaryGirl_

_DictionaryGirl_

NEWSWIRE

San Diego, CA

MAR 26, 2007 09:04 AM





Oh god. They've finally gone and done it.



Scientists have created the world's first human-sheep chimera - which has the body of a sheep and half-human organs.



The sheep have 15 per cent human cells and 85 per cent animal cells - and their evolution brings the prospect of animal organs being transplanted into humans one step closer.





Professor Esmail Zanjani has apparently spent seven years and close to $10 million creating this carnival of horrors over at the University of Nevada at Reno, all under the metaphorical umbrella of beneficial medical research and science. Tell me, Dr. Zanjani: how can the world be helped by terrifying people-sheep?



He has already created a sheep liver which has a large proportion of human cells and eventually hopes to precisely match a sheep to a transplant patient, using their own stem cells to create their own flock of sheep.



The process would involve extracting stem cells from the donor's bone marrow and injecting them into the peritoneum of a sheep's foetus. When the lamb is born, two months later, it would have a liver, heart, lungs and brain that are partly human and available for transplant.



"We would take a couple of ounces of bone marrow cells from the patient,' said Prof Zanjani, whose work is highlighted in a Channel 4 programme tomorrow.



"We would isolate the stem cells from them, inject them into the peritoneum of these animals and then these cells would get distributed throughout the metabolic system into the circulatory system of all the organs in the body. The two ounces of stem cell or bone marrow cell we get would provide enough stem cells to do about ten foetuses. So you don't just have one organ for transplant purposes, you have many available in case the first one fails."





Oh. Well. Yeah okay, that's valid (not to mention beneficial and helpful). Still, I'd like to hear a word or two from the opposition.



But the development is likely to revive criticisms about scientists playing God, with the possibility of silent viruses, which are harmless in animals, being introduced into the human race.



Dr Patrick Dixon, an international lecturer on biological trends, warned: "Many silent viruses could create a biological nightmare in humans. Mutant animal viruses are a real threat, as we have seen with HIV."



Animal rights activists fear that if the cells get mixed together, they could end up with cellular fusion, creating a hybrid which would have the features and characteristics of both man and sheep. But Prof Zanjani said: "Transplanting the cells into foetal sheep at this early stage does not result in fusion at all."





Indeed. Dr. Zanjani is so quick to dismiss cellular fusion, but I'm no fool. I've read The Island of Dr. Moreau, Doctor, and I for one know that these people-sheep have feelings just like you and me. Once one gets wind of this whole tasty organ harvesting business, expect the revolution.



You know how it is with sheep: where one bloodthirsty mutant-people-sheep chimera out for revenge goes... they all go.





(Thanks, Dr. Frank!)

Snottlebocket

Snottlebocket

Netherlands
March 2004

MAR 26, 2007 11:06 AM

AstralTraveller

AstralTraveller

United Kingdom
January 2003

MAR 26, 2007 11:08 AM

There's bound to be a few unreported hybrid rejects hidden away somewhere.

Cassiel

Cassiel

Aurora, CO
September 2004

MAR 26, 2007 11:22 AM

elk_pop

elk_pop

Reno, NV
April 2005

MAR 26, 2007 11:24 AM

only blocks away.

VnlaThndr775

VnlaThndr775

Reno, NV
October 2006

MAR 26, 2007 11:29 AM

elk_pop said:
only blocks away.



Me too! I think I went to a kegger this weekend with one of the sheep people!

CaptainJAllama

CaptainJAllama

United Kingdom
October 2006

MAR 26, 2007 11:30 AM

"it would have a liver, heart, lungs and brain that are partly human and available for transplant."

"it would have a... brain... available for transplant."

No way dude. No way.

Seriously? I wouldn't like that, what if I suddenly got a craving for eating grass all the time after they put my sheep brain in?

soft_shoulder

soft_shoulder

Madison, WI
May 2006

MAR 26, 2007 11:32 AM

CaptainAllama said:
"it would have a liver, heart, lungs and brain that are partly human and available for transplant."

"it would have a... brain... available for transplant."

No way dude. No way.

Seriously? I wouldn't like that, what if I suddenly got a craving for eating grass all the time after they put my sheep brain in?



Wouldn't it have rights like humans if it had a brain like ours? Animal farm here we come.

PointBlank

PointBlank

New York, NY
November 2004

MAR 26, 2007 11:33 AM

Thanks for fucking up my NCAA brackets and my children's chance to live in a world not controlled by sheep-man hybrid overlords, UofNevada.

Dicks.

soft_shoulder

soft_shoulder

Madison, WI
May 2006

MAR 26, 2007 11:36 AM

does the per cent bother anyone else? percent

st_even

st_even

Milwaukee, WI
September 2006

MAR 26, 2007 11:41 AM

So now when you have lambchops, you're a CANNIBAL!

SirPsychoSexy

SirPsychoSexy

Ridgewood, NJ
January 2004

MAR 26, 2007 11:46 AM

bunnilicious said:
does the per cent bother anyone else? percent



I think you get 15 sheeple organs for a penny.

Hey, thats cheaper than walmart!

JoLeigh

JoLeigh

SUICIDEGIRL

Florida, USA

MAR 26, 2007 11:49 AM

i still don't think this is such a good idea...

i could see some very bad things happening or this technology getting into the wrong hands...

mmm
Dr evil
Frankenstein
but thats just me being paranoid

noirkiss3

noirkiss3

Minneapolis, MN
April 2006

MAR 26, 2007 11:53 AM

well we saw it coming, remember this guy?

hadees

hadees

Austin, TX
December 2003

MAR 26, 2007 12:11 PM

Planet of the Sheeps just doesn't have the same ring to it.

Nothingful

Nothingful

San Diego, CA
October 2004

MAR 26, 2007 12:40 PM

Playing 'god'.... hahahaha.
Stupid humans.

Uncognitive

Uncognitive

Brooklyn, NY
May 2003

MAR 26, 2007 12:45 PM

_DictionaryGirl_ said:
You know how it is with sheep: where one bloodthirsty mutant-people-sheep chimera out for revenge goes... they all go.



They prefer to be called "Sheeple". Don't be so insensitive. wink

RudieCantFail

RudieCantFail

Intercourse, PA
January 2006

MAR 26, 2007 12:54 PM

Vidalia

Vidalia

SUICIDEGIRL

California, USA

MAR 26, 2007 01:01 PM

I still prefer the old fashioned way of trying to make sheep-people. Or maybe I should say... SHEEPLE!

Vidalia

Vidalia

SUICIDEGIRL

California, USA

MAR 26, 2007 01:03 PM

FUCK! someone already said that!

AesirR

AesirR

United Kingdom
January 2007

MAR 26, 2007 01:19 PM

Does nobody else think they will end up being like those little sheep dudes from Thundercats, what were they called again?

ReapTheFearer

ReapTheFearer

I'm lost
December 2005

MAR 26, 2007 01:28 PM

http://www.apple.com/trailers/independent/blacksheep/trailer/



"On a vast New Zealand sheep station, a reckless genetic engineering experiment goes horribly wrong, turning sheep into bloodthirsty killers."

Snowy

Snowy

United Kingdom
February 2007

MAR 26, 2007 02:42 PM

hadees said:
Planet of the Sheeps just doesn't have the same ring to it.



Agreed, although it could be quite frightening. It'd be like New Zealand!
More sheep than people biggrin

SilverShadow

SilverShadow

Shreveport, LA
July 2004

MAR 26, 2007 02:51 PM

proximityeffect said:
http://www.apple.com/trailers/independent/blacksheep/trailer/



"On a vast New Zealand sheep station, a reckless genetic engineering experiment goes horribly wrong, turning sheep into bloodthirsty killers."



I must see this ...

StarBelliedBoy

StarBelliedBoy

Philadelphia, PA
December 2003

MAR 26, 2007 02:59 PM

Just saying, I, for one, welcome our new sheeple overlords.

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