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_DictionaryGirl_

_DictionaryGirl_

NEWSWIRE

San Diego, CA

MAR 20, 2007 04:14 PM




Last night, as I set down a particularly satisfying Danielle Steel novel to mix a little more juice in with my gin, I thought to myself:

"While it's true that Ms. Steel's exhilaratingly tawdry tales never fail to move me, I often feel like something is missing. If only someone dared to mix her caliber of craftsmanship with a plot that speaks to my core values and lifestyle! Oh, when will a book come along that isn't afraid to represent me?"

You can imagine, then, my rapturous delight to find that there's a new man looming on the horizon of the publishing scene, ready to rock it like a hurricane of buckshot. The one, the only, the incomparable 50 Cent. (Curtis Jackson, if you're nasty.)

50 Cent will again turn his reality into fiction with a new line of hip-hop novellas and graphic novels featuring his former G-Unit rap crew buddies, a publisher announced.

Pocket/MTV Books promised the venture would showcase "gritty" stories and cover much of the same terrain as 50 Cent's raps.



Oh man, and in conjunction with MTV Books, too! That's hot. As promising as a venture advertising 100% of my daily recommended intake of grit may sound, however, G-Unit Books has been coming under a lot of fire from writers, representatives, and L.A. Times columnists who are apparently concerned with things like “cultural integrity” and “standards” and “books that aren’t full of product placement.” (Oh, that’s right – did I mention the product placement yet? All books shall mention such pivotal plot points as Reebok, Glaceau mineral water, G-Unit streetwear, and pretty much every member of the posse. That’s skrilla in the bank, folks!)

Some African-American literary fiction writers and scholars say street lit has eroded the market for serious black literature. Novelist Nick Chiles wrote in a widely discussed New York Times op-ed piece last year that it was "as if these nasty books were pairing off in the stockrooms like little paperback rabbits and churning out even more graphic offspring that make Ralph Ellison books cringe into a dusty corner."

James Fugate stocks plenty of urban fiction at Eso Won Books, Southern California's preeminent black bookstore. But he is no fan of the category. "I think it has a negative effect on a lot of young black people," said Fugate, the store's co-owner. "They want to believe in this view of the world: that it takes crime to get over and that the system is against them."



Ah, come now. I think Ralph Ellison would totally be down with the G-Unit takeover. Invisible Man in the HIZ-ouse!

Oh god, ouch. Okay, the grit-hop crunk juice is wearing off now and I don’t know how you professional writer people can keep up the irony so long without migraines for days. Still, I’m fascinated to see how this will play out, and whether these books will really gain momentum. After all, they couldn’t possibly be worse than “chick lit.” Right, guys? Right?

"Squeeze put in a G-Unit mix tape and pulled off in a hurry … 'Hell, that nigga Fifty is getting his marbles. They can hate if they want to, but he has an empire — clothes, music, video games, Vitamin Water …' Seven said."

"Let's get that money the fast way — the ski mask way."



I’m sorry I ever doubted.


_DictionaryGirl_ is thrilled just to be here on the Newswire, and is having way too much fun with this. I'm just playin', Fifty; you know I love you.

propera

propera

I'm lost
April 2006

MAR 20, 2007 05:10 PM

Wow. As a proponent of nearly anything having to do with the documentation or broadcast of hip hop culture, I'd like to say...Oh my fucking god this is horrific!

Cigarette

Cigarette

Cleveland, OH
April 2004

MAR 20, 2007 05:16 PM

Yeah, the only people who should write things are people with terminal degrees.

Margot_Dent

Margot_Dent

Los Angeles, CA
February 2004

MAR 20, 2007 05:26 PM

holy shit, youre an editor! one of the best choices staff has made in a long time.

formerviking

formerviking

Denver, PA
May 2006

MAR 20, 2007 05:32 PM

Margot_Dent said:
holy shit, youre an editor! one of the best choices staff has made in a long time.



+ 1 - fucking - thousand .

gdarklighter

gdarklighter

San Diego, CA
August 2005

MAR 20, 2007 05:49 PM

_DictionaryGirl_ said:
_DictionaryGirl_ is thrilled just to be here on the Newswire, and is having way too much fun with this. I'm just playin', Fifty; you know I love you.



As cool as DG: The Editor is (and that's really fucking cool), you still spelled Fi'ty wrong. :-P

Idontlikeyou

Idontlikeyou

Lawton, OK
November 2005

MAR 20, 2007 05:49 PM

a rapper writing about the street? I just wonder if any of the writers will read the piece of shit they authored or is it not hood if you read?

sidmortiis

sidmortiis

Sharon, PA
July 2005

MAR 20, 2007 06:04 PM

Hmmm...

SouGei

SouGei

Blackwood, NJ
January 2007

MAR 20, 2007 06:04 PM

There's only one good chapter you can read over and over. Rest is filler.

turin

turin

Denver, CO
October 2003

MAR 20, 2007 06:19 PM

Cigarette said:
Yeah, the only people who should write things are people with terminal degrees.



popular culture is drowning in a flood of skillfully-written, intelligent literature, and it must be stopped at any cost! somebody think of the children!

OctEgon

OctEgon

Tustin, CA
July 2005

MAR 20, 2007 06:22 PM

Ha! Right.

I'd like to know what kind of books Fitty is reading these days for inspiration.

zenFish

zenFish

Vancouver, BC
August 2004

MAR 20, 2007 06:24 PM

I saw one of them on the bookshelf in Coles Books (Canadian Book Seller, not sure if they are anywhere else), read the back, and just about burned it on the spot, saw another one (didn't read the back), left promptly after.

This is why I prefer to not browse certain sections of the store, because I see crap like that.

codyp

codyp

Camarillo, CA
January 2006

MAR 20, 2007 06:38 PM

50 is brilliant, he puts out one trash cd, all the kids buy it, then he puts out the same cd again like 6 months later, with music videos attached and kids dug that one too. 50 is simply a business man. He does what ever he can to make money. Think of him as the Mcdonalds of hip hop. Don't let it all fool you, he is extremely intelligent. He is not about the content though. Just the movement of product. Thats how a crack dealer works.

Quirky

Quirky

Birmingham, AL
October 2005

MAR 20, 2007 06:50 PM

formerviking said:

Margot_Dent said:
holy shit, youre an editor! one of the best choices staff has made in a long time.



+ 1 - fucking - thousand .



+_

Kris7

Kris7

Bridgewater, MA
July 2003

MAR 20, 2007 06:53 PM


Ah, come now. I think Ralph Ellison would totally be down with the G-Unit takeover. Invisible Man in the HIZ-ouse!




+ 10,000

Margot_Dent

Margot_Dent

Los Angeles, CA
February 2004

MAR 20, 2007 07:07 PM

codyp said:
50 is simply a business man. He does what ever he can to make money.



he's not a business man, he's a business, man.

DrStinkypants

DrStinkypants

Saint Paul, MN
October 2002

MAR 20, 2007 07:30 PM

Margot_Dent said:

codyp said:
50 is simply a business man. He does what ever he can to make money.



he's not a business man, he's a business, man.



You just blew my mind, man

But seriously, this news made me throw up more than anything else I think I've read all day.

_DictionaryGirl_

_DictionaryGirl_

NEWSWIRE

San Diego, CA

MAR 20, 2007 09:55 PM

gdarklighter said:

_DictionaryGirl_ said:
_DictionaryGirl_ is thrilled just to be here on the Newswire, and is having way too much fun with this. I'm just playin', Fifty; you know I love you.



As cool as DG: The Editor is (and that's really fucking cool), you still spelled Fi'ty wrong. :-P



You know, I thought about writing it Fi'ty, but I sound fairly ridiculous and poseury when I say it out loud, so I thought it best to preserve the continuity of my vernacular by keeping it nerdy. tongue

flyonwall

flyonwall

London, ON
October 2004

MAR 20, 2007 11:20 PM

i thought it was fiddy.. akin to p diddy?

CocoabutteR

CocoabutteR

Brooklyn, NY
March 2006

MAR 20, 2007 11:24 PM

whoa....go _DG_, go!

CocoabutteR

CocoabutteR

Brooklyn, NY
March 2006

MAR 20, 2007 11:24 PM

I just want to read it so that when people ask, "Hey Cocoa...what are you reading?" I can reply with "G-G-G-G-G UNIT!"

Bastardo

Bastardo

Boston, MA
January 2005

MAR 21, 2007 04:43 AM

HAHA! You don't dissapoint kiddo!

cklarock

cklarock

Lawrence, KS
August 2004

MAR 21, 2007 07:54 AM

Just what we needed, more phony mythology built up about these works of fiction masquerading as rappers, and with corporate sponsorship woven in for that added payday! Therefore, they don't have to sell to make money.

I admire 50 cent because he is getting his myth out there across such a wide spectrum of content, and getting richer doing it. And that drive for money is at the core of his myth.

But c'mon already, you fucking posers. You don't hang around in dingy apartments armed to the teeth waiting for trouble, you hang around with image consultants and wait for meetings with your public relations agency.

Although when I think about some of the stupid shit I liked to read when I was 13, I can't really be that assed about the books. Hell, I might even buy one or two. It'd be like the modern day John Carter of Mars books or Fafrhad and the Grey Mouser.

"In Lankhmar on one murky night, there met for the first time those two dubious heroes and whimsical scoundrels, 50 Cent and the Lloyd Banks...."

mydogfarted

mydogfarted

Oakland, NJ
June 2003

MAR 21, 2007 09:54 AM

Holy shit... 50 Cent knows how to write?

gordond

gordond

Seattle, WA
January 2007

MAR 21, 2007 10:54 AM

Product placement, eh?

My boy James was just standing there holding the General Electric refrigerator wide open and I said, "If you going to keep that open you might as well pass me some Miller Light!"

"Miller Light?" he asked. "I thought you was on that Body by Jake program."

"Naw. I tried Jenny Craig and Slim-Fast and they okay but right now I'm on a hard Soloflex regimen." I nearly stepped on a piece of Cap'n Crunch when I noticed that there was an empty box of Ring Dings sitting on the counter. Clearly, someone was trying to mess with my diet.

Side note: do they call him Cinquante Cent in French speaking countries?

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