NEWS: True Stories by Rob Corddry: The Playboy Interview, Part 2

CULTURE: True Stories by Rob Corddry: The Playboy Interview, Part 2

The following is the second in a series of excerpts that SuicideGirls is running from the now-famous interview Rob Corddry gave Playboy Magazine back in 1977. As always, he was more than a little racist.





Playboy: What was it like growing up in the south in the forties?



Rob: It wasn't all mint juleps and fishing holes if that's what you mean. With the war going on, I imagine it was the same everywhere. It was about conservation. It was about sacrifice. It was about recycling metal. It was about consuming less Wonder Bread so that the boys overseas could eat sandwiches and feel America swishing around their hot, wet mouths. It makes me feel good to know that because I skipped an afternoon or two of fried bologna sandwiches that just one of our boys had the opportunity to shit Wonder Bread all over the corner of some fox hole in France. I did my part. Fuck the French, you know?



Playboy: Your father was a semi-famous politician in Atlanta. Was it hard growing up in the shadow of such a great man?



Rob: I remember once when my daddy was still just a small town lawyer he shot a rabid dog that had wandered into town. I'll never forget what he said to me. I thought to myself, "Scout, it's times like these when I think my father, who hates guns and has never been to any wars, is the bravest man who ever lived".



Playboy: Um…



Rob: Later that year he went on to defend a black man who was accused of raping a white woman. At the same time, Truman Capote and I were busy befriending the retard next door.



Playboy: That actually sounds like the plot of To Kill a Mockingbird.



Rob: Is that a book?



Playboy: Yes.



Rob: Did I write it?



Playboy: No.



Rob: Did I read it?



Playboy: I don't know.



Rob: I'll just wait for the movie then.



Playboy: You mentioned Truman Capote. What's your friendship with him like?



Rob: Tumultuous at best. He keeps trying to get me in the sack and I keep waking up next to him, hung-over.



Playboy: That's quite a revelation.



Rob: Not really, he's a total fag.



Playboy: What about the civil rights movement? You marched alongside Martin Luther King in 1965?



Rob: That's a funny story. I was writing a book called Truly Tasteless Jokes under the pseudonym "Blanche Knott". When I got to the chapter on Negroes I realized that I didn't know enough about them as a people to accurately make fun of them. In the early sixties I had been a journalist in Poland so I was aware of how inherently stupid the Polish are. And I knew how weird gays can be because I apparently fuck Truman Capote so often. To write the opening chapter I actually went into a bar with a parrot on my shoulder just to see what would really happen. I was boozing with Faulkner one morning and he told me that "colored" was becoming an unacceptable term. I realized then how far away I was from the pulse and I was driving to Selma the next day. I've never met anyone like Martin. He was so articulate in the way he would talk back to the movie screen.



Playboy: Tell me about your college years.



Rob: On the record, my dad got me into Yale where I was afforded an opportunity to dodge the draft. I served for six months in the Merchant Marines making liquor runs to Bermuda back when Bermuda had no Burger Kings. Off the record? I held my fraternity record for most malleable scrotum. I can twist my balls into a series of shapes: animal, vegetable or mineral.



Playboy: Mineral? Really?



Rob: I can make my sack look like a geode.



Playboy: Yale is where you met your first wife, correct?



Rob: I'm not sure.



Playboy; Oh. Well, then, yes. That is where you met your first wife.



Rob: Good enough.



Playboy: What did you want to be when you grew up?



Rob: A commercial artist. I like drawing pictures of retail. Also an astronaut because they get so much pussy.



Playboy: We're almost out of time. Is there anything I left out that you want to mention?



Rob: I'm an inventor! I'm in the process of patenting a new device upon which vehicles will travel. It will be made of rubber, will employ air and is largely based on my favorite shape, the circle.



Playboy: Sounds like the wheel.



Rob: Sort of. Its like the wheel but…re-imagined.

fucking brilliant

Oh. Man.

I'm really confused by this interview, is Rob Corddry being funny, or am I a total fucktard?

Yeah. I mean yeah to his being funny, not to you being a fucktard. I'm sure you're not a fucktard. He was born in 1971. This is an ongoing thing he's doing for SG. I love it.

Thanx a bunch. It is very funny-he's my new "fantasy" guy.

hahahah go rob... nice little shoutout to SG in New York Magazine, by the way: who DOESN'T love some tattooed boobies?

I wish you were uncensored more often.

I smell a new advertising catchphrase waiting to happen: "Fuck the French -- buy Wonderbread!"

-TTm

History needs more Rob.

I loved the Blanche Knotts books... I didnt know Rob wrote those... awesome

Rob - Don't forget the "Turtle". Patented, I believe, by C. Grohe....

J McDonald

Yes?

Correct?