NEWS: USPS Invents Timeless Machine

CULTURE: USPS Invents Timeless Machine

If you want to know how long you've been waiting in line at the post office, it's time to start wearing a watch. That's because the United States Postal Service has come up with a novel idea with how to solve long wait times at their service locations: Remove the Clocks.

Presto!

The uniform appearance of having clocks just wasn't working as effectively as this new non-clock approach is. Perhaps a better way to deal with postal wait lines is to use porn like they have to great effect in Bulgaria's late night bus depots.

So far, patrons say the lack of timepieces adorning the wall has done little to improve or worsen their experience at their local USPS.

Personally, what makes waiting in long lines at the post office truly awful is the loud, obnoxious person who apparently has never been to the post office and is very surprised by the experience. All the constant sighing, the foot tapping with unnecessary urgency, and, my personal favorite, the silently throwing your arms up in the air in a disgusted gestured aimed at the bullet proof glass, and followed by loud complaining aimed at your fellow patrons explaining that you only put 15 minutes in the meter. This has an odd effect on time, making each minute that much more excruciating.

If we could get rid of those people, then we could probably safely bring back the clocks.

Or maybe if the USPS could get their shit together and make it as easy to ship stuff through them as UPS has made it then we might actually solve the problem... novel idea, I know...

FedEx figured it out too...maybe they're just paragons of the parcel industry, but I prefer to blame the one that has government affiliation.

There must be some kind of "improving the customer experience" guru going around and telling government entities this is a really good idea-- the Indiana BMV, after a disastrous year of completely fucking up customer service in ways beyond imagining, responded by removing their clocks as well.

I personally like to think of it as a way to keep the employees of these places from clock-watching so that they can snap the door lock and motion to the people who have the temerity of showing up at 5:00:01 that, hey, they have to wait 'til tomorrow.

I dont know that many retail places that have clocks at all - I guess it's cos time doesn't exist when you're spending moolah.

What's worse is when you get three of them at a time ahead of you, none of them read any signs, or look at any of the available materials, and then they each take up 20 very confused minutes at the window asking for advice, labels, envelopes, & etc.

Las Vegas Casinos don't have clocks on the gaming floors, but they're more honest about it. They admit they don't want the customers to notice the passing time.

Uniformity my ass.

I have never gotten bad service at any post office. My long wait times have always been caused by customers that are not prepared. In all honesty I think removing the clocks will certainly serve to illiminate a lot of complaints that are not the fault of the USPS.

my biggest problem at the post office (or any waiting line for that matter) is the person behind me that wants to be standing in the exact spot I am, so close that when I reach for my wallet I end up putting my hand in thier back pocket. I usually throw a hockey style elbow when going for my wallet, sure to catch them right in the stomach. "oh sorry, but maybe you should BACK THE FUCK UP"

I'm consistently amazed by people waiting in line at the PO just to buy one stamp or a book of stamps they could buy at any grocery store in half the time, and yet they waste line space in front of people who have armloads of parcels.
That and the huffing spazzes who can't stop grumbling "goddamn" under their breath, as if they're the only one waiting.

Just one more thing to drive postal workers insane.

they might also want to try getting rid of all the extra windows they never use, so it doesn't look like they have ten times as many service windows as there are people who work there.

Well it works in malls and stores, why wouldnt it work at postal offices. I always considered ti fairly straight foward logic that people percieve time moving more when a clock is visible than when it isnt. Id say its a good idea, aside from actaully improving efficiency.

You know what would help? the fucking people that work at the post office not chatting with every damned customer for five god damned minutes. FUCK! This is probably more of a problem here since I live in a really small town, and all the towns nearby are pretty small. But it drives me nuts having to wait even longer when the fucking POSTMASTER who happens to be working the counter spends an extra minute trying to find the newest fucking state quarter for the customer's change. Assholes.

so does the government have any plans to make the DMV's meet uniformity?