NEWS: From the Sublime to the Ridiculous

CULTURE: From the Sublime to the Ridiculous

Salve, Countrymen and Countrywomen:

Lend me your ears…

I, dean_applewhite, certified late bloomer and ultimate procrastinator, have, as of this moment, joined the blogosphere.

My focus here on the venerable SG wires will be the Sublime and the Ridiculous.

In my humble (read: not so humble) opinion, this is a unique time in American History and Culture. Never before have we been faced with such a slew of portentous challenges – the War on Terror, the quagmire of Iraq, endemic poverty (both at home and abroad), the rebuilding of New Orleans, and the literal and likely irreversible destruction of our planet with each passing nanosecond.

Furthermore, American Culture has arguably never been as monopolized by inane, myopic and insignificant distraction. (Like this Blog). Two weeks ago, when a panel of scientists (that means people who know what they’re talking about, President Bush) commissioned by the U.N. categorically confirmed the destructive power of global warming the cable news channels chose to focus, almost exclusively, on stories about Anna Nicole Smith’s death.

She’s still dead by the way.

A sense of modesty (albeit a false one) precludes me, at this very moment, from connecting the dots as to why this is – Why we are, as a nation, as an ecosystem, so entirely up-shit’s-creek-without-a-paddle, and yet all we care about is whether or not the paddle looks “uber-hot” to Paris Hilton or sounds harmonious to Simon Cowell.

American Idol is riveting tee-vee, don’t get me wrong, but it does pale in comparison to a lack of breathable air or massive radiological poisoning due to an eroded troposphere. Then again, there’s no way that punk-!@# Sanjaya deserves to be in the top Twelve.

To wit, my blog here will be all about the significant and the insignificant, the fly and the ointment, the yin and the yang… of Anything and Everything.

Who the fuck is Sanjaya?

I take it you listened to the last episode of Le Show, or On The Media, or any number of other news commentary podcasts, columns, or blogs.

You're the second-to-last procrastinator?

Ack! I was hoping I'd be the first one to comment on that. High-fives nonetheless.

Apparently he procrastinated in his vocabulary class.

BURN.

Well, sure. There must be someone out there besides him who hasn't heard of "the Sublime"

Dean Applewhite.... is that a martini?

I was going to say that I am, in fact, the ultimate procrastinator but then I thought ah fuck it, I'll say it some other time.