Britney Spears has tried to commit suicide in the Promises rehab center where she is currently seeking help. Her attempt was unsuccessful. According to an eye witness:

"Later that night she tried to kill herself. She attached a sheet to a light and tied it around her neck. Paramedics were called, but luckily she was unhurt," the pal added.

Britney "Batshit Crazy" Spears had, prior to her attempted strangulation, scribbled 666 atop her freshly shaved cranium, perhaps to foreshadow the event. Rather than taking the correct steps towards a modicum of sanity, the ailing pop-star has other plans in store:

"Britney has realised what a rock Kevin has been to her, and how out of control she has acted recently. She has been talking to Kevin every night for hours on the phone, telling him she still loves him. She just wants to be with him again, and thinks having another baby will seal their marriage," the source said.

Somehow, amidst the post-partum rumors, I think another baby will make matters worse.

ListOfDemands

Baltimore, MD

March 2007

MAR 05, 2007 07:12 PM

More babies, yes, that solves the problem! Maybe on the third try she will figure out the whole child seat thing.

bean

STAFF

Los Angeles, CA

MAR 05, 2007 07:16 PM

I'm still calling bullshit on this until I see it from a reputable source.

HelloCentral

Saint Agatha, ME

February 2004

MAR 05, 2007 07:18 PM

at least everybody's making fun of her. That looks good.

Postmaster

Austin, TX

October 2004

MAR 05, 2007 07:18 PM

bean said:
I'm still calling bullshit on this until I see it from a reputable source.

Agreed.

guitargeek

Shawnee, OK

November 2003

MAR 05, 2007 07:19 PM

See kids? This is what meth amphetamine does to your brain...

kinghell

Portland, OR

July 2003

MAR 05, 2007 07:20 PM

Why does every white trash chick think that the answer to every problem is "have more babies?"

OctEgon

Tustin, CA

July 2005

MAR 05, 2007 07:22 PM

See, people like to point the finger at Kevin Federline. And while yes, he's a douche biscuit, I like to blame Supermarket Tabloids.

oh yeah, and paris too

fake111

Bushkill, PA

October 2002

MAR 05, 2007 07:25 PM

great, 8 pages of this shit a day in all the papers....

techno_ballerina

Saint Louis, MO

March 2004

MAR 05, 2007 07:28 PM

I don't believe this shit. The lame people that make this crap up need to get laid.

I personally feel bad for her and wish everyone would leave her alone so she could get the help she deserves without everyone breathing down her neck.

< -- pissy mood

Untimely

Chicago, IL

January 2007

MAR 05, 2007 07:29 PM

I still really like her haircut. It could be more Tank Girl, but what can ya do.

StarBelliedBoy

Philadelphia, PA

December 2003

MAR 05, 2007 07:33 PM

Poptard said:
Britney "Batshit Crazy" Spears had, prior to her attempted strangulation, scribbled 666 atop her freshly shaved cranium, perhaps to foreshadowing the event.

This part is so unbelievable it's got to be a joke, but just in case it's not supposed to be...

Yeah. Fucking. Right. I bet she was listening to Led Zeppelin at the time, too. Backwards.

Matthew_X

Rio Vista, CA

June 2006

MAR 05, 2007 07:34 PM

the price of celebrity, i guess?

sixtyfootqueenie

Australia

January 2004

MAR 05, 2007 07:35 PM

either way.. poor britney

private_grave

Belgium

April 2005

MAR 05, 2007 07:37 PM

666 huh?
I would love to see a Britney Spears/ Marilyn Manson collaboration....

jaggy

Austin, TX

October 2003

MAR 05, 2007 07:38 PM

fake111 said:
great, 8 pages of this shit a day in all the papers....

my exact thoughts!