How screwed are we?

Monkey cyborg screwed.

Shiiit.
it's just like the prophecies said.

the next thing we know, the damn statue of liberty will be on the beach.

Good idea we should give them guns next.

Following orders isn't the only way to become a hero.

It pisses no one else off that the monkey is kept in a tiny box with only his head exposed?

so cool! I've been reading about that for a while now, but I've never seen the video.

It's an experiment i don't think he's hurting. Maybe?
Don't EVER watch one of the original Faces of Death, that is truly disturbing.

did the monkey seem unhappy to you?

Yes, he did. Wouldn't you be unhappy?

What I wanna know is: how do you get a name like Chance Spalding?

are you kidding me?? I'd be ecstatic!

and unhappy monkeys don't sit calmly and eat treats. they aren't that sophisticated. unhappy monkeys scream and struggle.

I think you have to be a monkey scientist.

No. He's got a damn robotic arm. If he was seriously pissed about the situation don't you think he'd just fling his captors across the room, smash the box, and run off into the sunset towards freedom and the envy of all non-cyborg monkeys?

So if you have one really strong robotic arm, Bionic Man style, you could really do some damage to yourself as well.

Of course! How silly of me! *shakes head*

Good. Now that this is settled how about we figure out a way for that monkey to use that arm to make me a damn sandwich.

I wonder if Michael Jackson is funding the research for this.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Oh, wait, if he was then it would be his brain hooked up to the monkey's arm.


Nevermind.

Believe it or not they're already starting to do some of this stuff with people. My lady is paralyzed from the waist down and they offered her the chance to participate in a clinical trial. Basically, they'd implant electrodes directly into her nervous system that would allow her to stand up and sit down (but not walk) just by thinking about it, bypassing the spinal chord. We nixed the idea because it's a pretty major operation and still completely experimental, but maybe a few years down the line...