It's all cute until somebody threatens a lawsuit. Quick recap: a couple of New York artsy-fartsy types took a bunch of McDonald's coffee stirrers _ which Ray Kroc and Co. haven't offered at their franchises for years _ bronze-cast them, dipped them in gold and sold them as "Cokespoon #2" for about $300.

According to a press release from Citizen-Citizen, an online art and design store that carried the spoons, the "luxury, made to order design objects" weren't just funny, chintzy collectibles _ they had artistic merit as well.

Cokespoon #2 is parody and commentary on how culture affects and sometimes dictates an objects status and function. It is a luxury, made to order design object by the renowned designer Tobias Wong and sometime collaborator, fashion designer Ken Courtney.

Apparently, the McDonald's corporation found out about the spoons and threatened legal action, citing intellectual property violations. Citizen-Citizen currently lists the item as discounted. "Cokespoon #1," a gold-plated pen cap, is still available.

It's not shocking that McDonald's got pissed. Do you think you can slap the McDonald's logo and signature arches on just anything? Coming to America isn't real _ you can't just say they're "arcs" and get away with it. It sucks, but it's a fact of life.

What surprised me was the legacy of the McDonald's coffee stirrers as drug paraphernalia. According to a couple of websites, McDonald's switched from the fanciful, long plastic spoons to the now-familiar flat stirrers because too many people were using the spoons to scoop coke into their nose. Assuming it was an urban legend, I dug into it as much as I could. And, evidently, it was true, as the following excerpt from a 1979 Associated Press article attests:

McDonald's is changing the design of its coffee stirrers because some drug users apparently have found another purpose for them.

The plastic mixer _ a long handle with a tiny spoon bowl on the end _ is similar to paraphernalia used by cocaine sniffers. They also reportedly are being used to inhale PCP, an animal tranquilizer with hallucinogenic properties.

Doug Timberlake, a spokesman for McDonald's Corp., said the fast-food chain decided to redesign its spoons because "it has been brought to our attention that people are using them illegally and illicity for purposes for which they are not intended."

Use of the chain's spoons was discussed recently at a U.S. subcommittee hearing of the Senate Judiciary Committee on proposed legislation to ban the sale of narcotics paraphernalia, Timberlake said.

The Carter-era Senate wasn't able to sever the McDonald's drug connection completely, of course. Word on the street is that McDonald's soda straws, if cut down to the right size, can still be used for snorting your powder of choice, and there's no one to stop you from saying "I'm loving it" afterwards or asking for your next line to be Super-Sized. (Except the fears of overdosing and addiction, of course. Drugs are bad, mm-kay?)

AndersWolleck

Astoria, NY

February 2003

FEB 20, 2007 07:08 PM

The "McDowell's" restaurant was actually a Wendy's on Queens Blvd. that was scheduled to be closed for a complete renovation. Although the production had approval from McDonald's corporate headquarters, they apparently didn't pass the word down to their local outlets. On the day the "McDowell's" sign was erected, the manager of the McDonald's 1/2 mile further up the road arrived with his lawyer and proceeded to take photographs while telling the set dressing crew they were going to be sued for everything they were worth.

Nea

Farmingdale, NY

October 2006

FEB 20, 2007 08:03 PM

haha..I remember the lil stirrers...my mom told me when she was young they used em for coke...

Anomalisa

SUICIDEGIRL

I'm lost

FEB 20, 2007 08:27 PM

Ha ha!

anthonyd

Aurora, MO

April 2006

FEB 20, 2007 08:46 PM

No wonder Ronald McDonald always seemed so hyper

thefreak

NEWSWIRE

Gardner, MA

FEB 20, 2007 09:03 PM

anthonyd said:
No wonder Ronald McDonald always seemed so hyper

So Birdie and Grimace and the rest of McDonaldland are just the result of a coke-induced hallucination?

And Ronald always hanging out w/kids is just him looking for new coke mules?

...makes sense.

The King would never do such a thing.

-TM

braaap

Los Angeles, CA

February 2007

FEB 20, 2007 11:27 PM

well, everyone from the bay area knows the slurpy straws from 7-11 are way better anyway, they have a spoon on the end, and they're a straw! That's progress people!!!