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2/21/07

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Brad_Warner

Brad_Warner

NEWSWIRE

Los Angeles, CA

FEB 14, 2007 02:52 PM





According to this story on Metro UK, there is a statue of Jesus in Liverpool that shoots sparks from its eyes!



The report claims that some pilgrims are kneeling down in worship, while others are fleeing in terror lest they be vaporized by his laser beam eyes like the crowds at Sodom and Gomorrah.



That darned Jesus! Always causing a ruckus! But in Liverpool I bet John Lennon is still more popular.



[Special thanks to Zoetica for the lasers. While she is our Secret Photoshop Agent, she did not use Photoshop for this particular project. Nope. She used lasers from her eyes.]

trocc

trocc

Chicago, IL
March 2003

FEB 14, 2007 04:11 PM

Markus001

Markus001

United Kingdom
November 2004

FEB 14, 2007 04:12 PM

Sometimes the best stuff happens in Britain.

Laser-eyes Jesus. Brilliant. Just brilliant.

d20

d20

San Francisco, CA
September 2003

FEB 14, 2007 04:15 PM

pfff, weak. let me know when they've got a real laser jesus.

itwashardlylovex

itwashardlylovex

Orange, CA
January 2007

FEB 14, 2007 04:29 PM

trocc said:



SHOOP DA WOOP!

IMMA CHARGIN MY LAZZORZZZZ!

Zoetica

Zoetica

NEWSWIRE

Los Angeles, CA

FEB 14, 2007 04:33 PM

don't they know Jesus isn't real? silly brits.
but, if he existed, surely he would be made entirely of lasers.

attn_ho

attn_ho

Brooklyn, NY
February 2004

FEB 14, 2007 04:45 PM

Zoetica said:
don't they know Jesus isn't real? silly brits.
but, if he existed, surely he would be made entirely of lasers.



noo.... youre thinking of the ultimate evil from Time Bandits

"If I had created the Universe, I would have started with LAZERS, eight o'clock, Day One!"

StarBelliedBoy

StarBelliedBoy

Philadelphia, PA
December 2003

FEB 14, 2007 04:53 PM


PEW PEW PEW!

attn_ho

attn_ho

Brooklyn, NY
February 2004

FEB 14, 2007 05:04 PM

StarBelliedBoy said:
PEW PEW PEW!



What Is: Where do you sit down in a Church for $100, Alex?

Cherry

Cherry

SUICIDEGIRL

British Columbia, Canada

FEB 14, 2007 05:14 PM

Zoetica said:
don't they know Jesus isn't real? silly brits.
but, if he existed, surely he would be made entirely of lasers.



He might be gay, in which case I'm sure it'd be something fabulous like sparklers.

I prefer the idea of a scifi laser-based Jesus though.

Zoetica

Zoetica

NEWSWIRE

Los Angeles, CA

FEB 14, 2007 05:16 PM

Cherry said:

Zoetica said:
don't they know Jesus isn't real? silly brits.
but, if he existed, surely he would be made entirely of lasers.



He might be gay, in which case I'm sure it'd be something fabulous like sparklers.

I prefer the idea of a scifi laser-based Jesus though.



could he be laser-based and also shoot fireballs though? that's what i need to know. i have..plans.

Gillionaire

Gillionaire

Manchester, NH
February 2007

FEB 14, 2007 05:20 PM

I'm not a religious man, but if I was, I would totally go for a savior with eye beams. Maybe I should just worship Cyclops.

Alecks

Alecks

Visalia, CA
October 2004

FEB 14, 2007 05:52 PM

lasers aside thats still the scariest fucking jesus ive ever seen

=-> Alecks

JoLeigh

JoLeigh

SUICIDEGIRL

Florida, USA

FEB 14, 2007 05:56 PM

Zoetica said:
don't they know Jesus isn't real? silly brits.
but, if he existed, surely he would be made entirely of lasers.



Lasers, and he would have one of those things that Scorpion had from mortal combat, where that spear comes out of his hand

Gillionaire

Gillionaire

Manchester, NH
February 2007

FEB 14, 2007 06:02 PM

JoLeigh said:

Zoetica said:
don't they know Jesus isn't real? silly brits.
but, if he existed, surely he would be made entirely of lasers.



Lasers, and he would have one of those things that Scorpion had from mortal combat, where that spear comes out of his hand



That would seriously be the most awesome Christ ever.

xfinitex

xfinitex

East Lansing, MI
August 2005

FEB 14, 2007 06:16 PM

If I were the artist, I'd make my next sculpture bleed or something, just to fuck with people.

d20

d20

San Francisco, CA
September 2003

FEB 14, 2007 07:19 PM

Zoetica said:

Cherry said:

Zoetica said:
don't they know Jesus isn't real? silly brits.
but, if he existed, surely he would be made entirely of lasers.



He might be gay, in which case I'm sure it'd be something fabulous like sparklers.

I prefer the idea of a scifi laser-based Jesus though.



could he be laser-based and also shoot fireballs though? that's what i need to know. i have..plans.



entirely plausible. if he created a crazy go nuts laser refraction chamber in his chest, he could superheat a pocket of air until it ignited into a ball of burning plasma.

gfvella

gfvella

Australia
November 2004

FEB 14, 2007 07:55 PM

What is it with some people that religious faith causes their brains to ooze out their ears?

The report claims that some pilgrims are kneeling down in worship, while others are fleeing in terror lest they be vaporized by his laser beam eyes like the crowds at Sodom and Gomorrah.



For fucks sake! While having people this ignorant might seem funny it is this same superstitious cretinism that led to witch burnings and all the other dark and evil doings of religion.

I killed her because Jesus's laser eyes told me too!

I sometimes wonder if religous faith isn't a sign of mental breakdown

StarBelliedBoy

StarBelliedBoy

Philadelphia, PA
December 2003

FEB 14, 2007 08:15 PM

gfvella said:
What is it with some people that religious faith causes their brains to ooze out their ears?

The report claims that some pilgrims are kneeling down in worship, while others are fleeing in terror lest they be vaporized by his laser beam eyes like the crowds at Sodom and Gomorrah.



For fucks sake! While having people this ignorant might seem funny it is this same superstitious cretinism that led to witch burnings and all the other dark and evil doings of religion.

I killed her because Jesus's laser eyes told me too!

I sometimes wonder if religous faith isn't a sign of mental breakdown



Ummmm... I'm pretty sure the laser eyes part was a joke. I guess you don't get jokes, huh.

umanam

umanam

San Francisco, CA
October 2005

FEB 14, 2007 08:18 PM

yaya. Buddy Jesus, Anna Nicole Smith, agents!!! agents!!! meh blah whoo

organic farming is the news for tomorrow. get up on it.

miao!!

thefreak

thefreak

NEWSWIRE

Gardner, MA

FEB 14, 2007 09:57 PM

Can anyone say, "Jesus Christ Superstar Laser Rock Show?"

-TM

BGage

BGage

Los Angeles, CA
February 2004

FEB 14, 2007 10:13 PM

StarBelliedBoy said:

gfvella said:
What is it with some people that religious faith causes their brains to ooze out their ears?

The report claims that some pilgrims are kneeling down in worship, while others are fleeing in terror lest they be vaporized by his laser beam eyes like the crowds at Sodom and Gomorrah.



For fucks sake! While having people this ignorant might seem funny it is this same superstitious cretinism that led to witch burnings and all the other dark and evil doings of religion.

I killed her because Jesus's laser eyes told me too!

I sometimes wonder if religous faith isn't a sign of mental breakdown



Ummmm... I'm pretty sure the laser eyes part was a joke. I guess you don't get jokes, huh.



The part about feeble-minded religious nitwits kneeling before it wasn't a joke though.

gfvella

gfvella

Australia
November 2004

FEB 14, 2007 10:28 PM

StarBelliedBoy said: Ummmm... I'm pretty sure the laser eyes part was a joke. I guess you don't get jokes, huh.



Oh i got the joke bit, but its not that funny. The point is supposedly educated, modern people in a modern civilisation are still believing medieval style superstious crap.

We can make jokes about all we want, but that doesn't mean these people are

d20

d20

San Francisco, CA
September 2003

FEB 15, 2007 08:51 AM

thefreak said:
Can anyone say, "Jesus Christ Superstar Laser Rock Show?"

-TM



jesus christ, jeeeeeesus christ, who are you what have you shot with lasers?

wildswan

wildswan

I'm lost
June 2006

FEB 15, 2007 09:03 AM

Your own

Laser

Jesus...

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