NEWS: Fat Pandas Need Lovin' Too

CULTURE: Fat Pandas Need Lovin' Too

Ignoring those who are less-than-attractive or rejecting the advances of some fatty at your local bar is behavior no longer restricted to the shallow human race—Thailand's giant panda Lin Hui has no interest it mating with Chuang Chuang because, well, he's just too damn fat.

These giant pandas in Bangkok, Thailand were rented from China in 2003 with the hopes of boosting tourism and bringing in national revenue. However, the male of the pair, Chuang Chuang, has been gaining weight too rapidly and now outweighs his mate by 78 pounds, which is just too much for Lin Hui to handle.

The zoo's veterinarians are putting him on a strict diet as the latest attempt to get them to mate. This method seems slightly less creative compared to previous attempts that included a mock-wedding, separating the pair, and even putting on some panda-porn to get their libidos fired up.

Come on now, you two...for the good of the species.

is that why there was a panda on the treadmill next to mine at the gym?

you know, i really don't think pandas really care if they go extinct.
they have a bad attitude about mating every time we try and help them out.

Exactly. Which is why, we should cross breed them with Polar bears, (notoriously horny fuckers) and thereby produce an entirely new species of bear, the "Polanda Bear." It will be fearsome, impervious to the cold, and really fucking cute. Because as we all know, mixed race people are way hotter than regular people, the same will hold true for bears.

So then, when Panda's go extinct nobody will give a shit, because they'll all be at the zoo going, "oh crap!!! look at the cute Polanda bear!!!"

I promise this will work.

Who's that comedian who talks about Panda's having sex and says something like "I wouldn't wanna have sex with someone who looks exactly like me..."

I just woke up.

This makes me a sad panda.

Hey, we've got plenty of studly pandas here in San Diego. I mean seriously, they're popping out like every year or so at the zoo.

sweet lord.
that's all i can say.
maybe they aren't into forced sex because they're hairy? i mean, if i was all hairy i would be self-conscious too...PANDAS NEED TO FEEL SEXY TOO

When one little Panda puts his wee wee in another little Panda's ear - that's sexual harrassment

I support this as long as I get one.


Seriously, if a species refuses to fucking mate, there is clearly a good reason they are going extinct.

so, if they weren't hairy they'd be ok with forced sex? I mean, I'm pretty hairy, and even with a shave and a back wax I still don't think I'd be to into the idea of forced sex.

BALLS..even if I was a freekin panda I still wouldnt get layed... damn

Jason Sho Green

ZooAtlanta is close to you, & it hosts pandas (pandae?), so they prolly have a library of the cuddliest non-human-bear porn, ever.

But, on a serious note, I doubt that mating among pandas has dropped that precipitously, in the last several hundred years... There are just fewer to mate at that rate.

Save the panda, people.

Too true. Evidently nearly extinct beggars can be choosers. Good luck with diet, panda man.

Fiat Pandas need lovin' too

WTF!!!

Im on a diet. Sheesh.