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12/23/06

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scarekrow

scarekrow

USA
December 2005

DEC 21, 2006 11:13 AM

Well, for all of those people waiting on Jesus' return to the world, their expectations could be...sort of right.



Flora is scheduled to give virgin birth to eight babies on Christmas Day this year. Who's Flora? Well, she just so happens to be a komodo dragon living in England's Chester Zoo. But there's a catch_in Flora's lifetime, she has never even been introduced to a male of the species, and therefor fertilized all of the eggs on her own. Other species have been known to do this, but this is only the second case in a komodo dragon (the first was mistaken as stored sperm from earlier encounters with males).



Kevin Buley of the Chester Zoo explained how, one day, komodo dragons maybe be socializing with the likes of inbred dregs everywhere:



"The genetics of self-fertilization in lizards means that all her hatchlings would have to be male. These would grow up to mate with their own mother and therefore, within one generation, there would potentially be a population able to reproduce normally on the new island"



That would either lead to one hardcore case of inbreeding, or a species adept enough to repopulate itself anywhere it damn well chooses.



...genetic tests confirmed absolutely that Flora was both the mother and the father of the embryos. It completely blew us away because it (parthenogenesis) has never been seen in such a large species.

Vanessa

Vanessa

SUICIDEGIRL

New Mexico, USA

DEC 21, 2006 04:14 PM

So Jesus is a komodo dragon?

dempsey

dempsey

Seattle, WA
June 2003

DEC 21, 2006 04:16 PM

Vanessa said:
So Jesus is a komodo dragon?



bet the religious right never saw that one coming...

Moonrabbit

Moonrabbit

Kingston, ON
February 2005

DEC 21, 2006 04:19 PM

Whiptail lizards do this too. But I'm %100 willing to join a cult, following the teachings of 8 reptillian massiahs.

Jaron

Jaron

Lethbridge, AB
September 2004

DEC 21, 2006 04:51 PM

Jeff Goldblum talked about this idea in JP.

Jeff Goldblum is a prophet.

Vestril

Vestril

Coronado, CA
February 2003

DEC 21, 2006 04:51 PM

Vanessa said:
So Jesus is a komodo dragon?



It was actually in the oldest versions of the gospel, but mistranslation led to the image of Jesus as "white dude with long hair and a beard" instead of "komodo dragon dude with long tail who fucked his mom."

TheBrosia

TheBrosia

Cincinnati, OH
January 2007

DEC 21, 2006 05:01 PM

my iguana did that once. they put it in the record books. creepy shit.

so apparently jesus was reborn in my basement to an angry iguana who likes to bite.

Roethke

Roethke

SUICIDEGIRL

California, USA

DEC 21, 2006 05:04 PM

It's called parthenogenesis.

Get with the sexless program.

attn_Hussein_ho

attn_Hussein_ho

Brooklyn, NY
February 2004

DEC 21, 2006 05:10 PM

Roethke said:
It's called parthenogenesis.

Get with the sexless program.



id rather not.

Cassiel

Cassiel

Aurora, CO
September 2004

DEC 21, 2006 05:19 PM

FREEMASONRY!

photoline

photoline

Edmonton, AB
January 2005

DEC 21, 2006 05:54 PM

Mary must have eaten a lot of sperm.....

photoline

photoline

Edmonton, AB
January 2005

DEC 21, 2006 05:57 PM

Cassiel said:
FREEMASONRY!



Free Mick Jagger!

Darke

Darke

Trego, WI
June 2005

DEC 21, 2006 06:29 PM

I might go Xtian if Jesus was a Komodo Dragon... I mean, that'd be pretty cool is your savior was a Komodo.

ardour

ardour

Ottawa, ON
March 2006

DEC 21, 2006 07:29 PM

I went to Chester Zoo back in May and remember seeing them...!

eeek

AceT

AceT

Portland, OR
April 2004

DEC 21, 2006 08:14 PM

Life always finds a way!

anthonyd

anthonyd

Aurora, MO
April 2006

DEC 21, 2006 08:19 PM

SHIT, Now we are going to have to crucify a fucking lizzard? LOL biggrin

Metaverse

Metaverse

Portland, OR
March 2005

DEC 21, 2006 08:33 PM

I for one welcome our new Komodo Dragon Overlords.....sounds like a band name.

Cassiel

Cassiel

Aurora, CO
September 2004

DEC 21, 2006 08:35 PM

Metaverse said:
I for one welcome our new Komodo Dragon Overlords.....sounds like a band name.



death metal?

AceT

AceT

Portland, OR
April 2004

DEC 21, 2006 08:39 PM

Cassiel said:

Metaverse said:
I for one welcome our new Komodo Dragon Overlords.....sounds like a band name.



death metal?


They play mostly Boy George covers.

punk

punk

Phoenix, AZ
January 2004

DEC 21, 2006 09:06 PM

When I think of the "almost rebirth of Jesus," I think of this:


MisterEnrolled

MisterEnrolled

Birmingham, AL
October 2005

DEC 21, 2006 09:29 PM

So, scientifically, Mary was a man and a woman?

anthonyd

anthonyd

Aurora, MO
April 2006

DEC 21, 2006 09:36 PM

LordLinguist said:
So, scientifically, Mary was a man and a woman?



No, Mary was a whore. Virgin birth my ass!


And here comes the hate mail. lol

Cassiel

Cassiel

Aurora, CO
September 2004

DEC 21, 2006 09:40 PM

punk said:
When I think of the "almost rebirth of Jesus," I think of this:




that's one of my favorites, because it consistently trumps itself throughout the episode with over-the-top moments that are hilarious (and one sad)

punk

punk

Phoenix, AZ
January 2004

DEC 21, 2006 09:45 PM

anthonyd said:

LordLinguist said:
So, scientifically, Mary was a man and a woman?



No, Mary was a whore. Virgin birth my ass!


And here comes the hate mail. lol



I'd me more worried about the Wrath of God, myself.

anthonyd

anthonyd

Aurora, MO
April 2006

DEC 21, 2006 09:51 PM

punk said:

anthonyd said:

LordLinguist said:
So, scientifically, Mary was a man and a woman?



No, Mary was a whore. Virgin birth my ass!


And here comes the hate mail. lol



I'd me more worried about the Wrath of God, myself.



God is a lie.

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