NEWS: Pole Dancing Lessons for Kids

CULTURE: Pole Dancing Lessons for Kids

Pretty soon, the best strippers in the world will be in the UK. Guaranteed. Because starting next year children as young as 11 can sign up for pole dancing lessons in Choppington, Northumberland.

Register today!

Those saucy Brits!

Laraine Riddell, a local fitness instructor, believes classes in pole dancing will help lure fatties out from under the clutches of obesity.

However, the children's charity, Kidscape who has been "helping to prevent bullying and child abuse since 1985," feels pole dancing is a little too socially linked to strippers and erotic dancing.

Riddell, who also teaches pole dancing to adults, believes that children don't have the same reservations or associations to the stripper pole that we do. She believes this because she is totally crazy.

Uh, yeah they do. If they don't come in with them, they'll leave with them. They're 12, they're fat, they're not stupid.

Maybe we should also start showing young obese kids porn and tell them if they're fat they'll never get laid. Maybe that'll help.

Even being what I consider to be a pretty liberal parent, no way would I be sending my kids to pole dancing class. I mean, really, WTF!!!!

Well hey, look on the bright side. The creepy older men who are looking for insecure children to molest won't have to drive around as much as they used to.

bwahaha! oh my goodness...

I thought it was kind of funny when they starting offering these lessons to adults... but wow... just wow

Because pedophiles also enjoy erotic dance.

awwwwwwwww yeah!

Gotta love dancing Poles!

When I was a kid we used to play a game called Challenge. My school ran out of funding to buy more tetherballs and all of them had already broken for the year so what we did was challenge each other to tricks on the pole.

i.e. 4 times around, 1 hand, no legs, no hoppies. Or 15 times around, two hands, two legs.

Looking back I guess the teachers let us do it because pointing out that it was inappropriate would have made us realize it was associated with something dirty. We had no idea.

Yes! I'll grow my moustache right away! And head on over to Britain!

Now all I need is a white van...

Wow, that is god damn horrible! The very idea of encouraging 11 year old girls to be strippers as a profession is fucking appauling. I mean fuck, that is about the time they put down their dolls and then promote them to thinking about giving guys whom are pedophiles a wet dream? I dunno but I honestly really wish I had not known this. lol!

A fantastic feeling eh? Well, what I have to say to that is ok, so one might say that would be a good way for people to try to place a bandaid over an already defficient ego. Yeeeeahhh, come on people. We all know it is to make a buck so stop trying to church up the idea.
I mean is this societies way of saying, well, it is better than working at McDonalds? lol!
Maybe I am insane but as superficial as I am, I would like to think that talent and skill counted a bit more than what any girl had which is T&A.

How about...I don't know...a fuckin' bike ride. Have we thought of that, yet, Laraine?

Don't forget to paint "FREE CANDY! APPLY WITHIN"

-TM

not british enough. how about "ye olde mobile candy shoppe?"

I hate you for posting that...

Choppington... I know it well, I have family five miles away. I hope they have strong poles. And stomachs.

"Oi! What 'ave we 'ere, eh? A wee li'l bit of sweets to go wiff me tea an' crumpets 'ere eh? Mi' I be ever so bold as to inqui'ah about gettin' me'self an ice-lolly, eh guv'nah? Not that I needs me any sweets. Me teef is roh-en enough as is me mum says, she does. Silly git me mum. Always on about sum'in. Fancy a trip to the lou I shall. After me tea and crumpets! Bit of a tad strange bit of a lawry you got 'ere mistah."

*Pull into van*

*Rape*

*Eat remains of child*

I love it! I knew I bought this clown suit for a reason!

(It's not often I use asterix to show action. But godDAMN I'd be doing myself a great injustice if I didn't use 'em here today.)

I don't care what any "Offical Document" says. I REFUSE to believe this man exists.

clicky

and at the same time moronic.

However .....



..... I smell the inspiration for the next Billy Elliot*.







*not smell exactly, I'm no Micky Jackson with his bottle of Jesus Juice and confusing "hand" puppets

SonOfAPunk said:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

"Oi! What 'ave we 'ere, eh? A wee li'l bit of sweets to go wiff me tea an' crumpets 'ere eh? Mi' I be ever so bold as to inqui'ah about gettin' me'self an ice-lolly, eh guv'nah? Not that I needs me any sweets. Me teef is roh-en enough as is me mum says, she does. Silly git me mum. Always on about sum'in. Fancy a trip to the lou I shall. After me tea and crumpets! Bit of a tad strange bit of a lawry you got 'ere mistah."

*Pull into van*

*Rape*

*Eat remains of child*

I love it! I knew I bought this clown suit for a reason!

You know, thank you for making me laugh so hard I couldn't breathe, then almost hack a lung. Thanks.

-TM

How do you go about telling your parents you want pole dancing lessons? My mom still had problems with buying me a pony when I was 11, I couldn't imagine the deal she would've had with me learning to spread my vagina on a pole!

Ewwwwwwwwyyyyy. What an era to be a 11 year old vagina humper! =]

Meh. Ghetto kids booty dance and do whatever that is they did in Rize (krunking?). Hawaiian girls hula. Kids in Brazil wear thongs and do whatever it is they do at Carnival (the term "dry humping" comes to mind, but I'm sure it has an official name). And now British kids pole dance. It's not the end of the world or anything.

Puritanism doesn't work. My guess is that people taking part in this will be better off than those with properly sheltered upbringings. At the end of the day it's a social activity where they'll get fitter. A lot of children's play is some shadow of adult life. Playing with dolls of babies doesn't mean you're about to become a teen mother, er... or father.

But the point of belly dancing isn't to stick your lady's front bottom into the face of some sweaty guy as he sticks £5 in your garter belt.

Why would kids want to do it, especially fat lazy kids?