NEWS: When Animals Attack

CULTURE: When Animals Attack

Something scary is happening. The sea is fighting back. A recent and growing spate of sea lion attacks on humans was fishy enough, but now a whale has attacked its trainer at Sea World, Southern California's favorite aquatic amusement park.

First the sea lions, normally more likely to run like cowards than stick up for themselves, have suddenly been attacking the West Coast with a taste for human blood.

Scientists are saying that one possible reason for this new behavior is toxic algae. Toxic algae is a brew of pollution and agricultural run off. This tasty treat causes brain damage in marine animals when they snack on it. The brain damage is making the sea lions crazy enough to think they can mess with us.

I bought this until I heard a killer whale attacked its trainer at Sea World. Now, it's a multi-tiered, multi-species attack.

It sounds to me like the attack was premeditated.

This time without toxic algae to blame, experts say this animal has a history of violence. OK, but then why did a totally different whale do the exact same thing a few weeks ago?

Am I the only one who sees what's really going on here?

i've been worried about this for awhile now...
sharks...we really have to look out for sharks.

Wasn't this a topic like a year ago? I feel like I'm having a flashback. At any rate, pheer my leet seal lion horde!! We're slowly upgrading our tech to include other species.

move inland!

The revolt is coming.
Glad I'm in the midwest... they'll be full from eating all of the coast-landers before they get to me.

You know all those sea monkeys you flushed down the toilet? They're PISSED and they're coming back for revenge! Except now they're ten feet tall because of all the hormones and steroids that we've been flushing into the oceans with them....

Haven't you guys seen the movie Orca? Don't fuck with the sea life, or it'll be your ass!

Aren't we seeing more bear attacks as well?

'Spooky!

Did you see on the news about the gator that took off that guys arm a couple days ago?

just dont fuck with animals. they dont give a shit about bipartisanism.

that picture makes me laugh out loud like crazy.

Yeah, and a flea just bit me on the ass!

Just wait. White rabbits will soon develop a taste for blood. And accounting fraud.

George Orwell's Animal Farm is coming to life but instead of cows we have sea cows (lions, whatever) fighting back Strangeness. I'm waiting for 1984 to become our new reality.

there was another stingray attack in Australia as well. Pierced his chest but he survived.

I gotta go with the animals on this one... It's about time they kicked some human butt!!

Yeah, he was naked and spun out on crack.

Well, looks like it's time to invade the ocean. We have to fight them there so we don't have to fight them here!

I still have nightmares about that little orca foetus.

I agree! We have been terrorizing them for years, I think they're a little overdue.

I keep waiting to hear about the cow revolution!

The animals hate our freedoms.

Something more sinister is at work here. I believe Aquaman is behind this insidious scheme.

In other news, maybe killer whales are just fucking tired of performing.

I'm gonna start biteing people too!

I hear Samuel L Jackson's next flick is "Sea Lions on a plane".

Toxic algae?

I think that they've just gotten sick of our shit.