Rabbit Corkscrews: The Absolute Pinnacle of Modern Engineering

No invention has ever made me consistently marvel at the wonders of human enginuity quite as much as these:


Whereas with a traditional corkscrew or corkpullers, you're always going to have to put in a considerable amount of elbow grease to unsheath the stopper and get at the alcoholic goodness underneath (not to mention the considerable risk of cork damage... the horror!), with the Rabbit, there is none of that. Simply wrap the rabbit ears over the top of the bottle, then push the lever down. You'll encounter little resistance as the screw penetrates into the spongy cork. Then, you pull the lever up and the cork is extracted effortlessly and cleanly, like a loose bit of straw from a bale of hay.

And then... and this is where the true genius of the Rabbit Corkscrew lies... in order to disengage the impaled cork from the screw, you simply wrap the rabbit ears back over the cork, pull the lever up again, and ta da! It is FREE! Most importantly, YOU are free to imbibe the most wonderful intoxicants with absolute minimum effort and maximum efficiency.

It is the perfect machine. I defy you to name any other man-made contraption more amazing or important to the human experience.

Lookit that, one of those Phantasm balls had a kid with a speculum.

I'll have to look at one of these. The corks are the one thing I hate about wine.

Damn, I saw 'rabbit' in the headline and thought it was a new sex toy.

Looks pretty nifty, might have to give it a try, I always end up breaking cork off in wine.

it scares me how much we think alike

it has SONY guts

And...how much are you selling them for?

You mean to tell me that wine comes in containers other than a box?

I won a couple of bottles of wine at a fund raiser and they came with one of these. I love it so much that I told my wife that if it was a woman, I was going to run away with it. The best part is that a few bottles of wine in, where your coordination and vision aren't quite working well, it's still easy to use.

It's my favorite gift for winos.

Huh. We started selling those at my store last month. I just thought it was way too over-engineered for just being a cork screw. Didn't realise it was, like, the holy grail of bottle openery...

Now I may just have to think about getting one. And some wine. Definitely need some wine.

I really don't get how people have so much trouble with a regular wine key. In my mind that is a much more perfect invention. If you do it right it takes little elbow grease. It is much simpler, and far cheaper. Screw your fancy doodads.

Well my Birthday is Dec 23rd, and I'm a wino... soo, when should I be expecting my new gift.

Only for wine-snob princesses like Subrosa. Pass the Franzia, will ya?

*guzzles straight from nozzle*

P.S. The one time I tried to use one of these, it didn't work. I think it was broken. It looked cool before it disappointed, though.

Sometimes you can buy it by the jug.

Perhaps if you are skilled with it, then it is little problem. And I can get a bottle open with little trouble with damn near anything, but it took ages to develop that talent.

This, on the other hand, is so simple a child could get drunk with it.

It just seems like a really complicated solution to something that isn't even really a problem. Maybe you just aren't using the wine key properly? I swear it is easy and takes no talent at all. Or maybe opening wine bottles is my superpower. I better go buy some tights.

Until I got good at it, I used to leave cork floating in the bottle all the time. You'd be surprised how many people say they have no idea how to use the things.

But yes, invest in the tights.

I shall only use my powers for good.

Getting women drunk so they think I'm attractive is good right?

I thought that too, and then was utterly horrified when I saw the picture.

That would be one hell of a sex toy, and I can almost see what "they" would be thinking, assuming "they" are demented and bloodthirsty.

Also, your comment gave me my best laugh of the week, thanks.

Cork. Screw. CORKSCREW.


I don't know who decided they were gonna call it a wine key, but I'd like to "open" a bottle on his face.

This is better. Trust me.

I was under the impression that this was a corkscrew

and this was a winekey