What ever happened to kindness?

People nowdays just seem so rude and it takes everything I have from just cursing them out.

You hold the door open for someone and what do they do? More times than not, they put their hand on the door as they walk in, like I'm going to decide at the last minute to shut it and yell "Psyche!".

I work at my video store in a large building. I'm on the second floor and I'm next to a restaurant. When tourists come in they stand in the lobby, not knowing where to go. I ask them, "Can I help you find something?" and they get snippy with me and respond with "No!" or a response that some people give who don't like talking to other people, "Uh...no...we're alright."

In fact, one time I asked the question and a couple told me they wanted to eat. I told them stay right there and I'll be back. I go into the restaurant to get menus and come right back out. They're gone. I step outside and they're walking away. I tell them I have their menus and they respond, "Oh, OK, thank you...." and they get in their car and leave.

At supermarkets people will have their cart at such an angle where you can't get through. So you just kind of wait there, hoping common sense will take over and they'll move. Oh no, not until their done reading the back of the box of Count Chocula.

Anyone else have any stories of really rude people?

Fuck you.

man, if those are your examples of unforgivable, society-crushing rudeness, I'm going to hazard a guess that kindness has never existed.

Today I was leaving Ross, walking toward the left side of the huge exit doors (the sliding kind where four people could easily walk through all at once). Some guy was walking in and I didn't see him until the last second. Instead of that little body language negotiation dance most people do with you so you don't run into them, he just stubbornly walked perfectly straight. I sidestepped him and as he walked by he says, "to the right" all snotty. It took everything I had to not take advantage of the fact that I was still wearing my work shoes and curb him with my docs. Yeah, I realize I have some *ahem* anger problems. I'm on it.

As for the OP, the thing where people put their hand on the door when you've been holding it isn't because they think you're going to let it go, it's just a nice thing to do to let the person holding the door know that you've got it now and they can let go. I usually say thank you also, but not everyone does.

And that couple probably had no idea what the hell you were up to. If someone told me "stay right here" without any context, I'd take off too.

Oh, one more thing. I fucking hate it when people don't just say excuse me when they want you to move your cart and expect you to figure it out telepathically- that, my friend, is the rude part.

Maybe work on your level of expectations a little and focus on what you can do to be nice and don't expect anything back for your consideration. You'll be a lot happier in the long run.

Nowadays? Can you remember a time when people were nicer?

Not that things are great now, but at least I'm not being forced to work on somebody's transcontinental railroad or in danger of being shot for hooking up with a white person.

That being said, the guy at my comic shop was complaining about how some patrons won't even acknowledge him as they walk into his store, even if he says hi. I kind of sympathized with him for that and felt a bit guilty because I'm sure I've done that to people (and him) at times myself.

You godless shithead, smarten up and be kind to other people. Assholes like you make me sick.

I think kindness got its brains splattered out all over the highway by a semi truck.

I did tell those people I was going to get them menus and they could sit down. Then, when I get back, they're gone. I think that's rude.

Not saying "hi" back is something bugs me too. I say it to people all the time when they come in my store. A lot of people say "hi", but there are some who just ignore me.

People who don't respond to door greeters at places like Wal-Mart bug me too. You walk in and they're nice to you (sometimes) and they greet you. You could at least say, "I'm doing fine, thanks.". Some people though, just walk straight past them as if they don't even exist.

When you're at a two-way stop and you're waiting for someone to let you out and most people don't even look at you and drive straight ahead irks me too. I guess they feel that if they look at you, they'll seem like assholes if they don't let you out.

My journal entry for today is about kindess.

it is so tragic that you would take this to the boards here are the rudiest place you can be.

i think you are waaaay waaaay too nice for your own good. you're gunna snap and leave angry emoticons all over the place

Uh...yeah, not everyone does that.

Actually, I find people to be quite nice in the real world, and it reminds me to be nice in return. The other day my ATM card had expired, but I didn't know it until my sandwich had already been made and they rang me up. They ran my card, and the thing that everyone dreads happened. "I'm sorry ma'am, your card was declined." I knew I had money in the account and asked her to run it again. She did, and no dice. I was about to have a meltdown when the lady I had been chatting with in line just paid for it all. I have to say I was shocked, but it's probably the nicest thing a stranger has ever done for me. She only asked that I pay it forward someday.

Common courtesy is maybe on the wain, but when you're not expecting it, kind people do turn up and do kind things.

I think it's really sad that so many people have forgot basic kindness...and they are the ones who complain about the state of the world, go figure.

That's a great story =)

Yup. They have been rude to everyone for donkeys' years, and they can't figure out why everyone hates them. Too weird.

Hm. I guess I haven't really pissed anyone off in a while. Looks like my number's up.

If you're doing these things expecting ANYTHING in return, it's not actually kindness. It's self-congratulatory, and, therefore, self-serving. True kindness requires giving of yourself without needing anything back, and certainly without getting angry if the gesture isn't returned.

You're talking about "politeness," which is an entirely different concept, and, I think, one that asks us to use mindless, soulless social rituals instead of actual kindness.

What exactly are you meaning by Donkeys years?

I'm not expecting anything in return, but it would be nice if I got a 'thank you' or something.

I do the things I do or say the things I say, just to be nice. I'm treating them the way I'd like to be treated, so therefore I can bitch about things. lol If I was an asshole, I couldn't say a word.

Studies have shown that people aren't really any ruder than they ever were. It's just you romanticizing the past, when people were still assholes.

I don't know if thats a fact, but I do know its freakin hilarious

Ummm...ever stop to think that...Maybe they don't see you. Maybe people are going about their business in a daze. Maybe they've just found time to grab do some grocery shopping in between getting off their first job and getting ready to head off to their second job. Maybe they just found out that their spouse was cheating on them and are just going through the motions of their life...and it's all they can do to keep themselves from snapping. Maybe they're old, senile, have poor eyesight, etc.....or maybe the just didn't fucking see you.

Perhaps you just didn't register in their consciousness...and maybe...just maybe if you had said "Excuse me" they would have said "Oh...I'm sorry" and moved their cart so you could pass.

So, who's the weirdo...the person casually going about their day buying breakfast cereal...or the raving lunatic staring at them with lazer-beam eyes stewing over the fact that the aisles did not part like the red sea at their mere presence?

Cash this was by far the best response ever!! Wow.

I do say "excuse me", but its pretty hard to miss someone with a big ass cart in front of you. They roll their eyes and move their carts, like they paid the manager of the place a fee to rent THAT lane for the day. I don't know, I just think many people have forgotten that old saying, "Treat people the way you'd like to be treated".