NEWS: David Blaine Doing Some Dumb-Ass Shit Again

CULTURE: David Blaine Doing Some Dumb-Ass Shit Again

Former magician David Blaine today will attempt to do some kind of 2 day long, strapped into a mall-quality gyroscope, type of endurance um, thing. Whatever it is, I can't quite figure it out, or even if I could figure it out, I can't figure out why I would actually care.

Which will make the scene if Blaine blows this so great: poor kids with their magical Target spree denied them, their tiny, cold New York tears crystallizing on their ruddy cheeks in the harsh winter wind, while the Target suits explain: "don't look at us, blame 'intense guy' over there!"
Oh the humanity!!!

The feat of whateverthefuckitis followed by the ham-handed shopping spree at Tar-Zhey. Dave, what are you thinking? You can't go on a shopping spree, you will be the shivering mess you always are after a stunt, falsely sobbing, wearing an uncomfortable perma-brood expression while pausing occasionally to strike Hot Topic T-shirt-worthy poses, mumbling something you hope will be mistaken as "prophetic" or "meaningful". You won't be up to helping a poor little street waif buy a nice Michael Graves set of kitchenware, believe me.

Wasn't David Blaine the guy who did those cool street magic specials that ran in the middle of the night on cable, ad infinitum? The beta Criss Angel? Took himself too seriously as all magicians do, but the tricks were still cool? That stuff was mysterious, fun, at the time unique, and gloriously free of wondering if and how the magician was going to manage his shit and piss during the trick, and actually included some fucking MAGIC, yo.

DAVID BLANE! I BELIEVE IN YOU! I BELIEVE IN YOUR MAGIC! YOUR MAGIC IS REAL!

This is double dumb.

THE FINAL COUNTDOWN!!

just thinking of doing that makes me sick to my stomach.
fuck it...i dig david blaine.

Ugh..this guy sucks.
He's such a joke now...what happened to him actually doing illusions and things?

Would this be the same chain of Target stores that refuse to allow Salvation Army Bell Ringers?

Blaine is an attention whore, no doubt. But at least this is for charity. I give him credit there.

Illusions Micheal, Tricks are what a whore does for money!

I seriously miss the old David Blain who just did street magic. This new "Circus/Ripley's Believe It Or Not" David Blain is boring.

"I've made a terrible mistake."

i love every second of this.

I don't care what an idiot he is, if he is helping needy kids at the same time, good for him.

He's like the Crocodile Hunter of the magic world. Someday it's gonna kill him.

now I'd pay to see that!

he used to be cool when he did the street magic, now he is just a loser grasping for attention...Criss Angel is better...until he turns into the now David Blane...it's just a matter of time...but I hope not.

I'm going to hold you to that.

The stunt sounds lame, but it's for a good cause, so good on him.

Criss Angel pashed Paris Hilton. I hear he's now a frog.

For all I know, he could cure cancer with his mind, but to me he'll always be the dumbass who screwed up a relationship with Josie Maran. And for that, I'll always judge him harshly.

HOW IS THIS NEWS MAGIC?!?!?!11/!?

If Blaine wants to help needy kids, why can't he just BUY them the Target gift cards...?

Oh I forgot, he feels the need to look like an ass again on tv.

... Or cocaine!

Sad thing is this: The Salvation Army is a corporation and a profitable one at that. Anyone that donates to their cause is an idiot. They enslave people at their shelters to do work whilst the execs cash their checks. Yes, I have been a victim of this first hand. If you want to donate to a cause goto Goodwill.